Primarily Horrendo

U.S. Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is shown blurred by the zoom lens of a camera as he addresses employees at the medical company NuVasive during a campaign stop in San Diego, California March 26, 2012. [Reuters Pictures]

Y'all, I think even the news photographers are starting to lose interest in this campaign. They're just fucking with us at this point.

For the record: I am totally okay with that.

The BIG NEWS today is that Mitt Romney is a terrible candidate! Ha ha I know—that is not news. But he's being an EVEN WORSE candidate than usual! And he is usually a very bad candidate!

Exhibit A: Mitt Romney explains that his policies lack specifics because the details would be unpopular.

One of the things I found in a short campaign against Ted Kennedy was that when I said, for instance, that I wanted to eliminate the Department of Education, that was used to suggest I don't care about education," Romney recalled.

[...]

"So will there be some [departments and agencies] that get eliminated or combined? The answer is yes, but I'm not going to give you a list right now."

LOL! That dastardly Ted Kennedy and his sneaky liberal army, saying that Mitt Romney doesn't care about education just because he wanted to eliminate the Department of Education! How dare they, the wretched scamps! OF COURSE Mitt Romney cares about education! He wants every American to be able to send all of their many children in their very large families facilitated via the denial of access to contraception and abortion to extremely expensive private institutions—or, failing that, to Newt Gingrich's Juvenile Janitor Institute, sponsored by Halliburton.

How dare you say Mitt Romney does not care about education!

If we lived in a country where no one had any education or skills, who would install the car elevator in his California beach house, hmm? ANSWER ME THAT!

Speaking of Newt Gingrich, he's now charging $50 for photos at campaign events. Great candidate! Cool fundraiser! You might think that $50 for a photo is a lot of money, but that's probably because you don't know that Newt Gingrich's smile makes flowers grow.


See?
In other news, something something Ron Paul. I heard that both Andrew Sullivan AND Glenn Greenwald were on Real Time with Bill Maher last Friday. That sounds like a GREAT episode! Do you think that it was just an hour of Sully and Greenwald masturbating while talking about Ron Paul? I bet it was. Freedom boners for everyone!

(Not so fast, ladies etc.)

Finally! Rick Santorum is still a human person being horrible in the world. He is a terrible person who hates nothing more than queer men and uppity ladies except for himself, and, when you think about Rick Santorum, just remember that he is living in a torturous hell of his own making where to be fully human is to be garbage, and thus is anything resembling authentic self-esteem or true contentment not merely elusive but fundamentally incompatible with maintaining his fucked-up perspective on the world and its human inhabitants.

...Oh, did you think I was going to add something about how he deserves our sympathy for that? Ha ha no.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

[H/T to Deeks for the Romney stories.]