Mitt Romney Is Terrible: An Ongoing Series

[Content Note: Misogyny; animal cruelty.]

Much like Mitt Romney's tale of putting his dog on top of the family car for a road trip, intended to be a charming anecdote about his problem-solving skills, was a serious miscalculation, Ann Romney's tales of life with Mitt, intended to make him more likeable, are also wildly off the mark:

[The Romney campaign] released a fuzzy-wuzzy video, titled "Family" and starring, of course, Ann Romney, reminiscing over grainy film and vintage snapshots.

"I hate to say it but often I had more than five sons," Ann recalls. "I had six sons, and he would be as mischievous and as naughty as the other boys. He'd come home and" — here Romney makes the sound of a building blowing up — "everything would just explode again."

Somehow I doubt that Ann Romney, circa 1982, having finally managed to get her five boys under control, was all that happy about their father coming home only to "get them all riled up again." Somehow I doubt that beleaguered moms, circa 2012, listen to her story and think, "Oh, Mitt is so much more fun than I thought." Rather, I suspect, they wonder whether he should have been doing more to lend a hand.

Indeed, the video offers an unintentional glimpse of Ann's own frustrations. "It was hard to maneuver," Ann notes. "I could do okay when I had the two. Three, not so bad. Four, it got to be a little much." On the campaign trail with her husband, Ann often talks about the old days when she would be at home dealing with her rambunctious brood and Mitt would call from the road. "His consoling words were always the same: Ann, your job is more important than mine."

This story is supposed to buttress Mitt's bona fides as a supportive husband, and Ann is, no doubt, a more tolerant spouse than I am. But every time I hear that patronizing line, I imagine responding, "Great. If my job is more important, then you come home and do it and I'll check into the nice room at the Four Seasons."

Boys will be boys and men will be boys, amirite, ladies? Ha ha barf.

That doesn't so much "humanize" Mitt Romney for me, or inspire feelings of affection toward him, as much as it does make me think that he sounds like a terrible husband, a condescending panderbag, and a retrofuck gender essentialist with a chronic aversion to responsibility.

And I honestly cannot think of a single mother I know, of any political persuasion, who would find that story endearing.

Then there's this:

Romney, when asked last week about the gender gap, twice said he wished his wife could take the question.

"My wife has the occasion, as you know, to campaign on her own and also with me," Romney told newspaper editors, "and she reports to me regularly that the issue women care about most is the economy."

THANK JESUS JONES THAT ANN ROMNEY IS ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL SO MITT DOESN'T HAVE TO SPEAK TO WOMEN HIMSELF!

It's bad enough that most male politicians (in both parties) treat women like we're an inscrutable monolith, but Romney takes it to extraordinary new lengths, speaking about women as if he might seriously believe we are from Venus.


Ugh, this guy. Ugh.

[H/T to Amadi.]