Primarily Bored

Shakers, I had a dream the other night that President Obama told me he'd made a deal with Joe Biden to be his veep for the first term, so he could get elected, and that he'd soon be announcing Hillary Clinton is going to be his running mate in 2012. He told me not to tell anyone, but, since it was a dream and all, I think it will be okay to break the President's confidence. I take away three things from this dream:

1. I really and truly cannot turn off my brain, which continues to work even when I am asleep.

2. I really want to find a reason to vote affirmatively for President Obama.

3. I really think this would be a terrific idea and I wish it were true. No offense, Joe Biden, but you are not very exciting and you mostly make news by being a gaffe machine, and it would be really great if the Democratic Party and President Obama had the foresight to set up a future Democratic presidential incumbent other than you, especially one will help them win this election by a fucking landslide.

Seriously, how cool would it be if President Obama got reelected with a female running mate and made presidential history twice? COME ON, OBAMA! Do it! Doooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Please.

Speaking of running mates, CNN polled Republicans and Republican-leaning independents about whom they'd like to see as Mitt Romney's running mate, and the winner from their pre-selected list of eight was former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. She got 26% of the vote. Runner-up was Rick Santorum, who got 21% of the vote. LULZ. Great choices. Very cool.

"Mitt Romney, you should pick that black lady who watched football with George W. Bush, because that will steal voters from Barack Obama, who is black and also favored by ladies! This is an excellent plan, because our understanding of racial and gender politics is garbage! If not, just pick that other white guy."—GOP voters.

Hey, y'all remember when Condoleezza Rice was taking in a play and going shoe-shopping in NYC while people were drowning in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina? Good times. She's terrific.

Anyway! Even though Obama is still polling high among women, the New York Times informs us that the shitty economy still leaves an opening for Romney. Sure, whatever. File this under things that won't truly matter for another five months.

I do, however, enjoy how "women's issues" and "the economy" continue to be framed by the media as mutually exclusive things. Ha ha no.

In other news, Mitt Romney is still definitely terrible, and will be shoring up his garbage nightmare credentials in May by giving the commencement address at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University. PERFECT.

And finally! For all you Rick Perry fans out there, and also for all you 2016 Heads, the good news is that Rick Perry is already considering running again in 2016. A great announcement for us all, I'm sure.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.