Primarily Endless

Fun Fact: The best part of any Mitt Romney campaign event is the candidate's 17-minute long cover of "Shout."

So, now that Mitt Romney is the obvious Republican nominee (Mitt Romney has always been the obvious Republican nominee), even though it won't be official until the convention later this year, which I believe will once again be held at the bottom of a barrel, alllllllllllll the hot air that was being expended chattering about who was going to be the nominee (Mitt Romney was always going to be the nominee) is now being expended chattering about who is going to be Mitt Romney's running mate.

There are a few people we can rule out: Everyone who ran against Mitt Romney, for a start, because whooooooooops did you see those people? Did you listen to them? Oh boy. They are so terrible they made Mitt Romney look good—and let me remind you that Mitt Romney lost to John McCain last time around.


And there are a few people we can rule in, namely: Rob Portman, because he's from the swing state of Ohio and is not a Mormon; and Marco Rubio, because he's from the swing state of Florida and is GOP-Acceptably Ethnic^TM. And even though he keeps saying he doesn't want to be veep (as does no one who wants to run in 2016 because everyone including every Republican ever besides Mitt Romney and maybe even him assumes President Barack Obama will win reelection this year), he has joined Mitt Romney on the campaign trail, and not just because he's awesome at "doing the shouts."

Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who, as you may recall, was tasked with finding former President George W. Bush's running mate and found himself, has some hot advice for Mitt Romney during this important selection process: "The thing that I think is important to remember is the decision you make as a presidential candidate on who your running mate's going to be is the first presidential level decision the public's going to see you make. It's the first time you're making a decision you're going to have to live with." No do-overs, no backsies, no reversies, no etchysketchies!

Cheney also said: "I think the single most important criteria has to be the capacity to be president." (Like how he was president while George W. Bush was president.) "That's why you pick them. I think lots of times in the past that has not been the foremost criteria." (*cough*SarahPalin*cough*) "As you watch the talking heads out there now, they're saying you've got to pick a woman, a Hispanic, someone from a big state. They're all interesting things to speculate about but it's pretty rare that the election ever turns on those kinds of issues."

So, in conclusion, pick someone who has the capacity to be president, not a woman or a Hispanic. Love, Dick Cheney.


Finally! Go here to watch Mitt Romney tell students worried about student loans to go to a cheaper college. What a great candidate he is! Just super.

And really finally! "Gingrich hints he may drop from race this week." LOL! Oh no! Keep fighting! Never give up! Don't stop believing! Ha ha just kidding. Get lost.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.