It turns out Fox News isn't fair and balanced after all. As you can imagine, I am devastated by this shocking news.
I am fully one hundred years old, so I remember a time when there was a thing called the Fairness Doctrine which would have prevented the airing of this sort of biased nonsense under the guise of "news." But thanks to Patron Saint of Conservatives Ronald Reagan, we don't have to worry about that anymore.
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