Generally Dreadful

SO MANY great election news stories today, y'all! I can barely believe how much excellent and TOTALLY TRENCHANT election news stories I've read already today. Probably around one million, if I had to guesstimate.

After reading all those terrific and very educational stories, like about how President Obama smoked weed once, and about how Mitt Romney is so rich (did you know he's rich? apparently he's so rich!), I feel like I really have a better handle on who these gentlemen really are and what kind of presidents they'd be! Thank you, US news media! JOB WELL DONE AS ALWAYS!

This Guy: Not Arrogant Any More.

That Guy: Mitt Romney and the Women Who Don't Love Him.

Poll! Reuters: "Most Americans, no matter what their political party, believe there is too much money in politics and reject the idea that people should be allowed to spend what they want, a Reuters/Ipsos poll showed on Thursday."

Here's my favorite story today about what a great candidate for the presidency of a diverse nation Mitt Romney is—Romney campaign begins quiet push for African American voters:

Mitt Romney's campaign team has been quietly laying plans for an outreach effort to President Obama's most loyal supporters — black voters — not just to chip away at the huge Democratic margins but also as a way to reassure independent swing voters that Romney can be inclusive and tolerant in his thinking and approach.

That plan, still in its early ­stages, ran headlong into the harsh political realities on the ground in Philadelphia on Thursday, when Romney was treated to a hostile welcome on his first campaign swing through a poor black neighborhood this year.

A few dozen protesters met him with chants of "Get out, Romney, get out!"

Madaline G. Dunn, 78, who said she has lived there for 50 years, said she is "personally offended" that Romney would visit her neighborhood.

"It's not appreciated here," she said. "It is absolutely denigrating for him to come in here and speak his garbage."

Can I vote for Madaline G. Dunn for president? Because I totally would, just on the basis of that assessment of Mitt Romney alone.

I'm guessing—BUT I COULD BE WRONG!—that this next Romney campaign plan was devised for reasons other than demonstrating "that Romney can be inclusive and tolerant in his thinking and approach." I'm guessing—BUT I COULD BE WRONG!—that it was designed more to trade on the absurd fallacy central to the ideology of the Republican base that every one of us could be billionaires someday if only we buckle down and work real hard at the bootstrap factory.


Ha ha sure! That is definitely a perfect appeal to the 99%! "Give us your money, and you'll be entered in a lottery where, if you win, you'll get to have dinner with DONALD TRUMP, the most aggressively obnoxious billionaire in America!" Ha ha YOU'RE FIRED!

Romney is so in touch with the average US voter, it's almost like he's TOO in touch! It's like, hey, Mitt Romney, back off—I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE READING MY MIND!

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.