Today in Procrastination: Prince Charles, Weatherperson

If you're like me, you probably have something better to do than watch HRH Charles, Prince of Wales, read the weather forecast.

Or... do you?


[Description: News person introduces Prince Charles, who fiddles with a clicker, recovers himself, and launches into reading the weather as if it were the St. Crispin's Day speech: "Well, it's an UNSETTLED picture as we (glances behind him) head towards the end of the week..ahh this afternoon (small shrug) it'll be cold wet and windy (hand gesture) across most of Scotland. We're under the influence (looks at picture behind him)of, uh, LOW pressure (wavey hand gesture, looks at screen) and this, ah, weather front, PUSHING (pushing gesture) northwards, is bringing cloud and (hand gesture) outbreaks of RAIN. The rain of course (spreads hands) will be heaviest over the borders (looks behind himself) annnd, uh, around Edinburgh, where it COULD (hand gesture) lead to difficult conditions on the ROADS. (Looks back) In the West (hand gesture) rain will be lighter and patchier with maybe a few (waggles hand) dry interludes over Dumfries House in Ayrshire...(looks behind him, turns around as he seems to realize that the scriptwriter has snuck a joke in there: Dumfries House is one of his own projects)... A-haaa! (points,there is laughter as he resumes) ...There will be SNOW, over the higher ground in the Highlands and Aberdeenshire (spreads hands, looks serious) with the potential for a few flurries over Balmoral ...who the hell wrote this script? (grins as there is laughter)...as the afternoon goes ON. The best of the drier (looks behind) and brighter weather will of course be over the Northern Isles and the far north of the mainland, though a little hazy sunshine for the Castle of Mey in Caithness...but a cold day everywhere (looks serious) with a temperature of just 8 Celsius and a brisk northeasterly wind. Thank God it isn't a bank holiday!" (laughs, there is laughter in the studio, fadeout.)]

Maybe it's the pile of papers on my desk that I am procrastinating on marking, but this is cracking my shit up.


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