The Tyranny of OH HELL IT BURNS: 3. NO LABELS

In other words, liberals are smart enough to use the word socialist intelligently but conservatives aren't. - Jonah Goldberg, explaining what liberals think

Van Jones, President Obama's erstwhile "green jobs czar"... explain[ed] in a 2005 interview that he was going to give up openly proselytizing Marxist-Leninism while still pursuing the ends: "I'm willing to forgo the cheap satisfaction of the radical pose for the deep satisfaction of radical ends." - Jonah Goldberg, using words intelligently

If you had two in the "number of pages until Jonah Goldberg invokes Nazism" pool, you win! Go you, and go Goldberg, way to get back on the horse! You're back on the trolley to Godwin town!

Where were we? Ah yes....
Introduction: Who the fuck cares?
Chapter 1: Liberals say "ideology" like it's a bad thing, but everyone believes in junk!
Chapter 2: Liberals are pretentious liars that won't let you argue with them.

Chapter 3: NO LABELS.

At first I was excited, because Naomi Klein, but then I realized I was thinking of a) No Logo, which was b) a book.

This is a chapter devoted to the organization No Labels.

Jonah Goldberg, let me put this in terms you'll understand. Writing an entire chapter about No Labels is the moral equivalent of centering an essay on Allen Gregory.

(In case you missed them, Allen Gregory was an animated series on Fox, and No Labels was a press conference attended my Michael Bloomberg and Arianna Huffington.)

What Does this have to do with anything? Goldberg is convinced that liberals (like Karl Marx and Andrew Sullivan) are either lying or afraid to face the awful truth that they're liberals. They create a shadow world, where words have no meaning (this is the essence of pragmatism). FOR THE LOVE OF MAUDE, IF YOU'RE GOOGLING THIS FOR A COLLEGE PHILOSOPHY COURSE, THAT IS NOT AT ALL WHAT PRAGMATISM IS.

Bloomberg, Huffington and David Frum (one of the "intellectuals" of the movement) are just in denial of their liberal-Marxist ways.

(Here's a joke: Michael Bloomberg, Arianna Huffington, and Karl Marx walk into a bar. Michael Bloomberg owns the bar, but he sells it to Arianna Huffington who then lays everyone off as Karl Marx watches and laughs.)

NON-SEQUITOR!!!

If I call you a racist for opposing reparations for slavery or for opposing statehood for Washington, D.C., my offense is not in using the word racist but for using it inaccurately... However if you propose restoring slavery because blacks are unworthy of citizenship and I call you a racist... I should be applauded for committing the simple yet noble act of telling the truth.

First off, I have no idea where that came from. (I know exactly where that came from.) I think the idea is that liberals live in a topsy-turvy world where up is down and systemically disenfranchising a city with a huge black population is racism. So, if a hypothetical intellectual (let's call him Gonah Joldberg) were to advocate against giving residents of a traditionally black-dominated city the vote, yet fall short of calling for the enslavement of the city's black residents, you shouldn't call him a racist. (Liberals, I'm looking at you on this one.) You should throw him a parade.

Liberals are afraid of the awful truths that up is up, Gonah Joldberg is not racist, and Michael Bloomberg is a socialist. I think that's the point of this chapter. Also, there's more John Dewey, because the kids, they love the John Dewey.

One more quote:

Indeed in their own publications [citation needed] and conferences [citations] they [liberals? Like David Frum?] routinely say the favor socialism or "social democracy," [quotes original] which is socialism [citation needed]. But the moment critics say liberals are socialists, it's considered [by liberals? Like Mike Bloomberg?] a slander [citation needed]. But remember, these liberals don't dislike socialism. Even the ones [YOU KNOW WHICH ONES] who don't embrace it fully themselves admire the social democracies of Europe [citation. fucking. needed.] and want to emulate, say, [say?] the Labor [Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this u!] Party in Britain [citation needed].

Is the Labor Party the big socialist party in the UK? I'm not sure. The Labour Party sure as hell ain't.