Today in Mitt Romney Stands in Front of Something

"Mitt Romney is sooooooo terrible and his policies are a garbage nightmare and you should definitely not vote for him!"—Erica.

Well, you heard the man! Believe Erica!

True Story: When I was a kid, and CHiPs was all the rage, I'd hear adults talking about its sexy, sexy star, Erik Estrada, and I thought they were talking about a lady named Erica Strada. I was always disappointed that the episodes I saw always had two dude cops and this Erica Strada was nowhere to be found.

ANYWAY!

Mitt Romney still hasn't released any of his tax returns because fuck you. There was some speculation that maybe part of the reason he's being such a d-bag about this is because there was a year when he paid no taxes at all, but his campaign refutes that possibility. Which means that he probably just paid an exceptionally low tax rate care of elaborate financial schemes that include offshore accounts, which all the highly-paid pundits of professional punditry say won't sit well with voters.

Except for how it's fucking July, and most voters are barely even paying attention to the election yet, and most of those who are will forget all about Romney's tax shenanigans by November, and, ha ha, Republican voters don't LIKE paying taxes and will probably think Romney's a goddamn hero for dodging them, plus, by the way, if you don't already think Romney's an unethical, self-interested, avaristic scoundrel, is his 2008 tax return going to fundamentally change your mind? I dunno.

But then again, I'm no Wolf Blitzer.

So I'm not sure why Mitt Romney won't release his tax returns, except for the obvious fact that he's a terrible candidate who is very bad at politics.

In other news: "President Obama and Mitt Romney are effectively tied in the race for the presidency, according to a new CBS News/New York Times survey." Of course they are.