As you may recall, two years ago, Touchdown Jesus got hit by lightning and burned to a crisp. Whooooooooooops! Far from taking that as a sign that Big Daddy was displeased with members of his flock spending a quarter of a million dollars building heretical icons while people languish in poverty, hunger, and illness, the Solid Rock Church has rebuilt Giant Jesus—and he is bigger and better than ever! TAKE THAT, GOD!
Goodbye Quicksand Jesus! Hello WannaHug Jesus!
CNN's actual headline on its piece for this story: Jesus: He's Back! And He Wants a Hug! LOL! Yes, yes he does.
Now, it's true that I am a filthy, soulless atheist, and thus I have no business telling Christians on what they should be spending their money, but I firmly believe that if you're a megachurch with a few hundred thousand dollars lying around, and you can't find any poor, hungry, ill, or otherwise needy people to give it to, then a giant statue of a golden calf is really a better way to go. I'M JUST SAYING.
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