Generally Speaking

Here is all the latest election news:

[Content Note: War/violence; misogyny; homophobia; rape culture.]

Mitt Romney is a terrible plutocrat who will literally do anything to win. Do you have a pile of shit that needs eaten? MITT ROMNEY WILL EAT THAT PILE OF SHIT FOR YOUR VOTE! He is definitely pro-scat devourment. Except when he's NOT! Which is sometimes. Like In Ohio, where they're not so fond of poop consumption. Buckeyes! They're so weird. Amirite?

HA HA JUST KIDDING. Mitt Romney won't actually do anything to win. Like, for instance, he will definitely not support policies that benefit the working- and underclasses! Eww gross! Keep them away!

But he will definitely be a terrible plutocrat with a jumbling mess of contradictory lies in the cavernous void where his principles should be!

YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT.

In other news, President Barack Obama is less terrible! He will still FOR SURE use drones to drop bombs on people on his omgthisisarealthing "kill list," and whoooooooooops anyone who happens to be strolling by at the time, but he probably won't invade Iran. So that's good news!

Ha ha that is the GOOD NEWS in this election! OMG THIS ELECTION!

Oh hey, here is more good news: President Obama will not pursue universal healthcare, BUT he won't roll back the health insurance reform that has insured more people. He will not doggedly pursue comprehensive reproductive rights for women, but he will absolutely say he supports them during the next mid-term election. He won't actively campaign on behalf of LGBTQI equality, but he won't propose remanding queer folk to Halliburton-brand detention centers, or whatever the fuck Mitt Romney's position is. And he won't nominate Supreme Court justices who are keen to overturn Roe, although they might FAIR WARNING rule that corporations are deities.

So, really, when you think about it, there's just a lot of good news all over the place. By which I mean suuuuuuuuuuper depressing news.

Which is not even really President Obama's fault! Because the US is a fearful, bloodthirsty, self-interested, bigoted, plutocratic empire that prioritizes building tanks we will never use over feeding hungry children. And when you think about it THAT WAY, he's actually doing pretty good, I guess.

Really the worst thing about every presidential election is not the two-party system (although that is terrible), nor the electoral college (which is garbage), nor voter turnout (the worst), nor voter suppression (so fucked up), nor the useless mainstream media (ugh), nor the influence of monied interests (horrendous), nor any of the other things that all conspire to make US elections a garbage nightmare, but is, in reality, the country itself, which is collectively very short on empathy.

Because empathy is what turns people into progressives, a key part of the Republican Establishment's cultivation of its hateful base has been the subversion of empathy. Othering is the foundation of hate-based scapegoating, and Othering can only happen in a void of empathy. Compassion is not merely out of fashion; its existence is an impediment to modern conservative politics.

That makes for colossally grim prospects for the survival of a democracy with any semblance of a functional social contract.

(Which, of course, is not a bug of modern conservatism but a feature.)

This shouldn't be such a close race. And we can make excuses about "low-information voters" and the terrible media and everything else, but, the truth is, it's a close race because this country is torn straight down its middle between people who want to be part of successful society and people who want to be individually empowered masters of the universe.

And it isn't that they don't know Mitt Romney will do anything to get elected: It's that they think it's awesome that he will. Ethics are bullshit when winning's on the line.

I despair about this divide. I despair about a country so polarized in fundamental decency that the President saying "Rape is rape" makes him look like a legit fucking superhero. I despair about the fact that so many people who might, in person, give you the shirts off their backs, will nonetheless go to the polls on Election Day and vote affirmatively for a candidate who would use any shirt you gave him to shine up the rims on the moonmobile in his gold-plated car elevator. And they'll feel good about that, because at least their shirt didn't go to some goddamned welfare queen. Sneer.

And I despair that, if Mitt Romney should win, it will validate his unprecedented campaign of deceit, hastening our race straight off the cliff into factless oblivion.

All of this is a long way of saying that, despite my profound disagreements with him, I hope President Obama wins reelection. And I hope if he does, he uses his second term not to inspire us to compromise for the sake of compromise, but empathy for the sake of progress.

And should the unthinkable happen, and Mitt Romney wins, I reiterate my heartfelt promise to you:

If Mitt Romney is elected, I will spend the next four years referring to him exclusively as Emperor Grodius Maximus.

— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) October 19, 2012

Maude Bless America.