Race, Conservative-Style

[Content Note: Racism.]

So, yesterday, Former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorsed President Obama, which is not a huge surprise given that he endorsed him in 2008, too. Powell is, of course, a longtime Republican who served in the cabinet of George W. Bush, but he is also a retired general who got fed up with the way the war he helped sell on lies to the US people was managed, and also, crucially, he's kind of a d-bag.

So endorsing a Democratic president immediately after serving under a Republican one, who kinda screwed him over, seems like a fun bit of fuck you that a guy like Powell might enjoy.

Also, in case you haven't noticed, the Republican Party is increasingly hostile toward veterans whom they are positively eager to send into harm's way, and their social and economic policies are terrible.

These are observations about why Gen. Powell might have endorsed President Obama.

But they are wrong, or irrelevant, or la-la-la-la-I-can't-hear-you, according to conservatives, from your average dipshit blogger to Team Romney campaign co-chair and top surrogate John Sununu, who all are quite certain that the reason, the only reason, that Gen. Powell endorsed President Obama is because they are both black.

John Sununu, a top surrogate for Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign, said Thursday that Colin Powell's repeat endorsement of President Barack Obama could be explained partly by the two men's shared race.

Speaking on CNN's "Piers Morgan Tonight," Sununu downplayed the importance of the former secretary of state's endorsement, pointing to the support Romney's received from former President George H.W. Bush. He went on to explain that Powell's endorsement of Obama didn't rely solely on the political issues at hand.

"When you take a look at Colin Powell, you have to look at whether that's an endorsement based on issues or he's got a slightly different reason for endorsing President Obama," Sununu said, adding: "I think when you have somebody of your own race that you're proud of being president of the United States, I applaud Colin for standing with him."

What a genuine plaudit, I'm sure.

It is kinda weird how it sounded so much like a dog-whistle diminishing Powell's endorsement because they're both black, though! Huh.

Conservatives' calculations are just amazing. Black people only vote for Obama because he's black and voting for someone who looks like you is IRRESISTIBLE. Except, of course, if you're a white liberal, and then you are compelled to vote for Obama because of your white guilt. The point is: The only reason anyone ever votes for Obama because he is black.

Being black in the US is obviously a HUGE political advantage, which is why Obama will be reelected and we will not allow a white person to break our streak of black presidents: President Shirley Chisholm, President Jesse Jackson, President Carol Moseley, President Al Sharpton, and President Barack Obama. What a run!

It is within this frame, this belief that being a person of color really does confer some sort of advantage, that Romney made his absurd "joke" about how it would really help if he were Latino, at which his equally privileged and willfully ignorant audience of biebillionaires laughed heartily.

Because they all know that people of color get ALL THE BREAKS thanks to affirmative action and white guilt, while straight white cis able-bodied men of means have to work for everything they've got! And, darn it, they have to earn every vote when they run for president, unlike some black dude who even gets black Republicans to vote for him just because he's black! HarRUMPH.

And, naturally, if you're casting a vote, even in part, to change history and tilt the course of our future toward meaningful inclusion, then you're the real racist!

Exponential sighs.

I don't know why, precisely, Gen. Powell endorsed President Obama. I do, however, know that he said it's because Romney's economic plan stinks and he's surrounded himself by neocons, who were the bane of Powell's existence in the Bush White House. Which seem like some pretty solid reasons.

And if anyone even marginally on his side of the aisle wonders if he's right, they would do well to consider that Team Romney isn't disputing his criticisms. Instead, they're pointing to the color of his skin.