I Get Letters

Posted by Melissa McEwan at Friday, November 02, 2012
[Content Note: Harassment; war on agency.]

On Tuesday, Shaker MB shared a very moving guest post here, which was framed as an open letter to Rep. Paul Ryan, addressing how his views and policies are not actually "pro-life" at all. I've gotten a few interesting, ahem, emails from anti-choicers about that post. I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that anti-choicers don't like having their cavernous hypocrisy so carefully detailed.

Anyway. Late yesterday evening, I got another email about the post, which was a typical wall of text full of anti-choice garbage and conservative talking points, with some bonus ad hominem for MB and me.

screen cap of the email, with most of the text blurred out; all that remains is the parting shot: 'Get a real life, Melissa!!'

I decided to spare you the content of the missive from my delightful correspondent, save for hir supercool parting shot, because no one's life would have been improved by reading that mess of seething hatred, trust me.

Normally, I just delete these things because who cares. But I was in a pissy mood because Santorum Akin Walsh Mourdock Koster, and so fed up to the fucking teeth with the constant onslaught of aggressive, belligerent, ignorant, consent-hostile, agency-denying, anti-choice dogshit, that I decided to reply.

a screen cap of the original email plus my reply: 'You're a fucking asshole.'

This morning came the fiery retort in giant red text.

screen cap of email reading: 'And YOU are a potty-mouth, totally devoid of logic, common sense, thinking ability, and the vocabulary to use more than one-two sylable [sic] words!'

Sounds like someone's been talking to Bill Donohue!

As you can imagine, I decided that this carefully considered, thought-provoking critique of my faculties warranted a reply.

a screen cap of the original email plus my reply: 'You're a fucking asshole.'

A little while later, I received another dispatch from my correspondent, in even BIGGER red text.

screen cap of email reading: 'Obviously, you didn't hear me, so I repeat, louder this time: And YOU are a potty-mouth, totally devoid of logic, common sense, thinking ability, and the vocabulary to use more than one-two sylable [sic] words!'

Naturally, I sent a swift reply.

a screen cap of the original email plus my reply: 'You're a fucking asshole.'

My correspondent, evidently under the impression that colorblindness might be impeding the penetration of hir messages, replied in green.

screen cap of email reading: 'Ah-Ha!! You have a

FACT CHECK! I do not have a "fucking asshole" key on computer. (Would that I did!) I also have a brain. I keep it safely in my brainpan for whenever I need it. Like when I need to compose replies to important emails.

a screen cap of the original email plus my reply: 'You're a fucking dipshit.'

I regret to report I have not heard back, but if there are any further developments in this modern answer to the Lincoln-Douglas debates, I will be sure to you update you with all due urgency.
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