If Cats and Dogs Were People

This video made me laugh SO HARD! Everything about it is perfect. Perfect. The guy playing the Cat is amazing. OMG.

A young man (who appears to be white) in a blue sweater walks through his front door, as if coming home from work. He is greeted by another young man (who appears to be white) in a green t-shirt running toward him and enthusiastically hugging him, telling him it's so good to see him again. "I know I just saw you this morning, but it feels like it's been forever! We gotta celebrate! Whaddaya wanna do? Hey—" He grabs a football. "Let's go throw this around, huh?! Go out and get some fresh air?" The man in the blue sweater says, "Sure, just let me put my stuff down." He peers around the corner at another young man (of whose ethnicity I'm not sure, but he appears to be white, Asian, or Latino) in a red shirt and says, "What's up, Jimmy?" The man in the red shirt, slowly walking past an entryway, suddenly scurries away.

Cut to the man in the green shirt standing and smiling broadly, nodding enthusiastically and giving a thumbs-up. He is labeled "DOG."

Cut to the man in the red shirt standing expressionless, then lunging threateningly like someone angling for a fight. He is labeled "CAT."

Cut to the man in the blue sweater (hereafter "PERSON") sitting on the couch, reading the paper. Dog sits next to Person, staring at him and smiling. Cat comes into frame and walks on top of Dog and Person, crunching the paper under his feet before sitting down on the other side of Person. Dog smiles and rests his head on Person's shoulder. Cat bats annoyingly at the corner of the paper.

Cut to Person standing in the kitchen, cooking at the stove. Dog runs in and says, "Hey, man—whaddaya doing? Are you cooking? Do you need any help? I can help!" Person says, "Nah, I'm good." Then after a beat, "Actually, where's the basil?" Dog says, "Bottom drawer," and when Person bends over to get it, Dog sniffs his butt.

Cut to Person walking into the living room, where Dog and Cat are hanging out and a glass of milk is overturned on the floor. "What is this?!" demands Person. Dog hangs his head and says in a low, regretful voice, "I'm so sorry. I don't even deserve to be here. I'll just go get paper towels and clean it up and leave." He walks out of the room. Person looks at Cat. Cat stares back, and, without averting his gaze, knocks over a glass of milk beside him onto the floor.

Cut to Person lying in bed asleep. Cat comes in and crawls on him, kneading his chest and slapping his face to wake him up. "Wha?" mumbles Person sleepily. "We're out of cereal," says Cat, then leaves.

Cut to Person sitting at the dining room table with a friend. Dog sits beside the friend, nudging the football against him and smiling. "Your friend's weird," says the friend. The camera pans to Cat, peering around a doorway from a distance. "Yeah," agrees Person. "I'll bet he likes you. He doesn't really like anyone." The friend looks at Cat. Cat flips him off then disappears.

Cut to Person in kitchen. Cat is sitting near him on the counter. He rubs his belly and groans. "What's up with you?" asks Person. Cat hops down onto the floor and starts contorting like he's going to vomit. "Jimmy, no!" says person. Jimmy barfs then runs away. Person reaches for a roll of paper towels. Dog comes in. "Hey, don't worry. I got this!" He takes the paper towel and tucks it into his collar like a dinner napkin, licks his lips, and falls to the floor. "That's a good boy!" says Person. The end.

[Via Jill, who also get the hat tip for the post title.]