This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

HA HA did I say WORST thing? I mean the BEST thing!

Bill Bennett: Republicans Lost the Culture War. Do me a favor, Shakers: If you don't know who Bill Bennett is, which you probably don't if you're younger than 35 and don't have a fetish for irrelevance, read some Wiki background on this insufferable nightmare to get a sense of who he is before you delve into the CNN piece. It will make it so much more enjoyable.

Everything about it is perfect, obviously, but this is definitely my favorite part:

This was the drumbeat of the Obama campaign. To women they said: Republicans are waging a "war on women," trying to outlaw abortion and contraception and would take them back to their rights in the 1950s. To minorities they said: Republicans are anti-government services, cold-blooded individualists, and cannot represent minority communities. To middle and low income Americans they said: Republicans are the party of the rich, who will slash taxes for only the richest Americans and cut social safety nets for the poor.

Rather than offer a broad sweeping vision for the country, Democrats played identity politics.

HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA

HA!