Hosted by a unicorn who just got hir hair did.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Texas Rejects Federal Funding for Healthcare
by Shaker scatx, a liberal, a feminist, a wife, a mother, a professional historian, and an optimist.
Yesterday, the Texas Health and Human Services commissioner signed a rule that says that any clinic or other "affiliates of abortion providers" who participated in the Medicaid-funded Texas' Women's Health Program will no longer receive financial support from the state.
This $40-million/year program is jointly funded by the federal government. The fed, in fact, pays $9 for every $1 that Texas puts into the pot for this program. The program provides "basic healthcare and family planning services to low-income and uninsured" people (mainly women) "who would not otherwise be eligible for Medicaid unless pregnant."
Texas politicians, though, did not want ANY of this money to go to ANY program that could even be loosely affiliated with a clinic that does abortion (of course, thanks to the Hyde Amendment, none of these dollars would ever go towards abortion anyhow). This was specifically an attempt on their part to deny money to any Planned Parenthood clinics, even those that have never provided abortion services.
The Obama administration has said repeatedly (we remember you, Indiana) that a state does not have the right to pick and choose who receives Medicaid money. In response, Texas politicians decided to simply forego the federal funding, cheating many people, many poor women, out of health care that they otherwise do not have any way to access.
By cutting out this federal funding, the Texas Tribune posits that 130,000 low-income people will lose access to such services as cancer screenings, birth control, or general health exams. The Austin Chronicle estimates that when you combine these new cuts with other funding cuts to reproductive health, nearly 350,000 poor people will lose access to health care here in Texas.
I'm so sad about this. I'm frustrated. At the end of a week where we have been bombarded by news about Virginia's possible mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds before abortion (that has been shelved completely now), I keep saying to myself (and to Twitter and Tumblr) that the only state in the country who ALREADY HAS mandatory yet often medically-unnecessary transvaginal ultrasounds is Texas (today is day 18 since the law went into effect even after it was ruled unconstitutional; Oklahoma also has a bill that mandates it but it never went into effect after courts there ruled it unconstitutional).
I feel (and I know) that Texas is in a dire situation when it comes to reproductive rights and reproductive health care. I don't know why we aren't getting the press down here and I don't know how to make that happen. I'm just screaming from my Twitter feed and crying at my computer.
Texas politicians have chosen to turn down federal money that would help give poor people in this poor state health care simply as a roundabout way to hurt Planned Parenthood. That is a morally bankrupt decision. If this is the extreme that the Texas GOP must go to win their fight, what is it exactly that they are fighting for? I have many different answers to that question and none of them are good.
I am scared for my state. I'm scared for people here who relied on these programs. I scared of the climate and culture that would justify such actions.
And I know, as I look around at the rest of the country, that states like Oklahoma and South Dakota and Mississippi and Alabama are in their own state of emergencies. The national media that rallied so hard around Virginia needs to look south and west. We need that outrage here, too.
I often feel like I am screaming alone in a soundproof room. What do we do? HOW do we stop this? I want these answers. I NEED these answers.
Texas is in crisis.
Random YouTubery
Yesterday, after I posted the Suspicious of Broccoli Puppy, Shaker J sent me this video of her pup Ducky, who, having just returned from the groomers last week, and, despite having walked by a mirror many times without showing much interest, suddenly became very curious about the reflection of the clean, well-coiffed little dog with a bow on her head!
Video Description: A little black dog with a bow on her head barks and jumps at her reflection in a long mirror. Runs away, comes back, runs away, comes back. Ferocious! LOL!
I Write Letters
Dear Republicans:
When Pat Buchanan is telling you that you're going too far with all the attacks on reproductive rights, you have DERAILED.
Pat Buchanan!
You are to the right of Pat Buchanan!
PAT FUCKING BUCHANAN!
Take a nap.
No love,
Liss
Daily Dose of Cute
Guess who's thinking about Tony again?
Up to no good and plotting something tricksy, no doubt.
Someone's fixing to give me an anxiety attack.
When he wakes up, Zombie Dog will eat your BRAINZZZZZZZ!!!
Must stay awake...don't want to miss anything...
Ha Ha Great News Reporting, WaPo!
Karen Santorum: Husband's presidential run is 'God's will':
Rick Santorum's wife granted a rare interview Thursday, telling conservative talk show host Glenn Beck that she initially had been against her husband running for president but finally concluded it was "God's will." ... But she said she prayed on the matter, and finally changed her mind after the passage of the 2010 health care overhaul.A. If I am wrong and an anthropomorphic god exists, and his will is that Rick Santorum be president, then I hate god.
"I did always feel in my heart that God had big plans for Rick. Eventually it was there, tugging at my heart," she said. "When Obamacare passed, that was it. That put the fire in my belly."
B. Obviously I am a heathen atheist monster, but I did attend church at least once a week and usually more for the first 18 years of my life, followed by four years at a Catholic university, and getting angry about extending healthcare to people does not resonate with either the Protestant or Catholic doctrine to which I was exposed in exacting detail. I've actually read the Bible, and that Jesus fella was pretty insistent on caring for the sick and the poor. HE COULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT THAT JUNK! He was such a blabbermouth about the sick the poor the sick the poor the sick the poor that he never even had any time to talk about abortion or same-sex marriage!
I guess what I'm saying is that maybe that fire in Karen Santorum's belly was just a bad case of indigestion! Which, in fairness, is very easy to mistake for a divine exhortation to the presidency.
Project Runway All-Stars: Open Thread
Seychelles, my belle...
My head nearly exploded during this episode from the racist ignorance. I swear if anyone else said another word about Chileans wearing ponchos, I was going to go on a rampage. As it was, Spudsy and I had to rant and rave about it endlessly on the phone immediately after we'd both finished the episode. Yiiiiiiiiiiiikes.
On a more positive note, I didn't think anyone could make me not miss Tim Gunn (besides Tim Gunn), but Joanna Coles is great. I really dig her on the show, despite the fact I have vehemently disagreed with her in the past.
Quote of the Day
"We are expected to believe that using birth control or the decision to have an abortion—for any reason—prevents us from learning the 'consequences' of our actions, namely, of having sex. In other words, the argument goes, women are too ignorant, too thoughtless, and too confused to make decisions about their own bodies, so the state has an obligation to step in and teach them a moral lesson. But Republicans are forgetting that women have been paying the consequences of life without family planning for thousands of years."—Martha Plimpton. In case you needed yet another reason to love her.
[H/T to Shaker Kate217.]
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by kittens.
Recommended Reading:
Autumn: The "Bathroom Bill" Meme: Addressing Thomas Lee Benson's Story [Content Note: The post at this link discusses transphobia and transphobic memes.]
New Black Woman: Just When You Thought the Birther Movement Was Over… [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of birtherism and racism.]
Amadi: Possibly the Most Inappropriate Response from an Elected Official Ever [Content Note: The post at this link centers around an exchange over proposed legislation in Pennsylvania which would mandate endovaginal ultrasounds for most abortion-seeking people in the state.]
Tami: Can a Chocolate City Catch a Break?
Brian: Disney's Wonderful World of Fat Shaming
Eugene: The Book Surgeon
Andy: Mark Ruffalo's "The Incredible Hulk" Makes His Debut
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.
[Content Note: Rape culture; rape jokes.]
Another tiresome article about whether rape jokes are funny, giving lots of space to women who say they are and complain that criticizing rape jokes is asking survivors who process with humor to not process their assaults.
I've said pretty much everything I've got to say on this exhausting subject here, although I will underline once again that I am a survivor who finds value in processing via humor. I just also happen to be a survivor who understands and respects that not all survivors do—and that even those who do don't necessarily want to stumble across rape humor, even if it's another survivor working through her shit.
Which means I'm a survivor that understands the value of a closed group and a public space. I have friends, some of them also survivors, with whom I can safely make rape jokes (of the sort where the punchline is that rape is horrible and rapists are gross) and they can make them to me. In private. Within the safety and trust that comes with the intimacy of friendship.
Someone who argues against public rape jokes isn't telling me I can't process that way. They're not stopping me from doing what I need to do. And I don't feel the slightest bit limited in my ability to explore whatever dark shit I need to explore because I restrict my gallows humor to spaces where I know it isn't going to harm anyone.
In the age of social media, the boundaries between private and public are ever blurred, and I certainly think this is part of why rape jokes are proliferating at this particular time. But during an election year in which lack of agency and consent are central to virtually every major policy issue, the gravity of public rape jokes should be evident.
If one supports reproductive choice, if one supports ending foreign wars, if one supports closing Gitmo, if one supports rescinding invasive TSA policies, if one supports same-sex marriage, if one supports trans* protections, if one supports immigration reform, if one supports prison reform, if one supports environmental policies that don't harm local residents, if one supports universal healthcare, or any one of hundreds of other issues that are predicated on respecting other human bodies and choices, one needs to rigorously uphold consent, agency, and bodily autonomy in all arenas. The end.
Because the issue is not really whether rape jokes or funny. The issue is whether they're dangerous. And they are.
Reproductive Rights Updates: Virginia & South Dakota
Some sorta good news, some...not.
The sorta good news from Virginia yesterday was that the "personhood" bill was killed in the Senate for this legislative session.
RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — A bill that would define life as starting at conception is done this year in the Virginia Legislature.So, it will still likely come back. Especially after this WTF-ery (emphasis mine):
With no debate, the Senate voted 24-14 Thursday to send the so-called "personhood" bill back to committee and carry it over to 2013.
The vote sidetracking the most sweeping of several anti-abortion bills came hours after the Senate Education and Health Committee endorsed it on an 8-7 party-line vote, with Democrats voting against it. The bill passed after an amendment clarifying that no provision in it would restrict the use of federally approved contraception.Just. What. What the hell?
At least three times, the committee chairman, Sen. Steve Martin, threatened to have police remove opponents of the bill after they spoke out during debate.
Also, they have this to consider:
Another bill still before legislators would eliminate government funding for abortions under Medicaid for indigent women whose fetuses with severe deformities.The House has has already passed that legislation.
GOP: We hate the poor SOOOOOOOO MUCH!
***
In South Dakota, the state all other anti-choice legislators try to make their state emulate, the legislators have re-written aspects of anti-choice legislation (which Liss and I wrote about here and here) that is currently in court.
PIERRE, S.D. (AP) — Even though South Dakota's year-old abortion law is tied up in a court challenge, the state Senate on Thursday gave final legislative approval to a bill that would change some of the law's counseling requirements for women seeking abortions.While it's nice you realize this, the bills you all already passed "provide unnecessary government intrusions". Ahem.
The bill leaves intact the current law's requirements that women seeking abortions wait 72 hours and undergo counseling at pregnancy help centers that discourage abortions. But it changes provisions dealing with a woman's first consultation with a doctor at an abortion clinic and requires that counselors at the pregnancy help centers be licensed.
The Senate voted 26-7 to pass the bill, which has also been approved by the House. It next goes to Gov. Dennis Daugaard for his signature.
[...]
Sen. Eldon Nygaard, R-Vermillion, said the new requirements would even require a doctor at an abortion clinic to talk to a woman about her religious beliefs.
"This bill, if we pass it, would provide unnecessary government intrusions into private decisions," Nygaard said.
So this bill, on the good side--if there can be one--requires the counselors at "crisis pregnancy centers" actually be licensed professionals. CPCs are notorious for not having any actual medical personnel on staff (and not telling anyone that they do not). The completely asinine aspects--as usual--is that it says that a doctor who is going to perform the abortion must take into account a person's mental health history, their religious beliefs, any coercion attempts (so discussing their familial/living situation), and their age to determine if they will "risk mental health problems" because of having an abortion.
So, if a person's beliefs generally say that abortion is wrongity-wrong-wrong-wrong and their home life is heavy on that environment but they have, for whatever reason, decided it was the option they need now, a doctor must take into account those beliefs and their environment to determine if they're at risk for depression after & therefore, not do the procedure. And if you recall (.pdf):
There is evidence that stigma around abortion, rather than the abortion itself, can have negative mental health consequences. A woman may have negative emotions after an abortion because she thinks her partner, family or community will condemn or exclude her for deciding to have an abortion. According to the APA, the “most methodologically strong studies...showed that interpersonal concerns, including feelings of stigma, perceived need for secrecy, exposure to antiabortion picketing, and low perceived or anticipated social support for the abortion decision, negatively affected women’s postabortion psychological experiences.”Oh South Dakota, you never really change.
The Parks and Rec Open Thread
(Hereafter be spoilers.)
"You can either burn these hats in a fire, OR you can use a blowtorch."—Ann. LOL!
"And then I remembered that alcohol exists."—April. LOL!
Donna: "What are you making?" Ron: "Eggs." LOL!
"Andy, he's kissing my face!"—Chris. LOL!
Oh, Maude. There were a lot of funny and/or sweet things in last night's episode, although my absolute favorite moment was this. Awwwww! Ron's story about his two jobs in middle school! Donna's cousin is Ginuwine! Leslie's sign drama! OMG LOL! I liked the Ann-Tom arc the first part of the episode, and hated it the second part of the episode. Yes, you were both being stupid. No, realizing it is not a reason to stay together. Please just break up immediately. Scatx cleverly observed when we were discussing the episode that the lonely heart in the group is Chris Traeger (Rob Lowe), who is traditionally handsome, privileged, and professional successful. In a show filled with ladies, including lady characters who are single, it's the kyriarchetypical stud who is longing for romance and companionship. I dearly loved when everyone gave Jerry the gift certificate to a B&B for him and Gail in his favorite place ever—Muncie, Indiana. OMG. Laughblub. True Fact: There are no misty mountains in Indiana. It is very flat!What did you think?
Bob Morris Is So Sorry!
Indiana State Representative and Professor of Smartology at Genius University Bob Morris (R-Idiculous) is very sorry for for saying the Girl Scouts is a 'radicalized organization' that promotes abortion and homosexuality. He's so so so sorry! But mostly he sincerely hopes "that this statement will end the publicity with regard to my letter. I look forward to moving on to more important issues of state policy."
Like turning Indiana into the most conservative bootstrappin' backwater in the nation.
Primarily Awful
GOOD MORNING! Isn't is SO EXCITING that Mitt Romney's losing-to-Obama aspirations might be thwarted by Rick Santorum?! And by EXCITING, obviously I mean TERRIBLE! SO TERRIBLE!
The thing I most love about the possibility of Mitt Romney—who is a horrible garbage monster of a candidate that should never be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office but is by comparison to Rick Santorum an angel who is also a genius—losing the nomination to Santorum is the perfect, perfect bookend it will create (and, really, already has created) to the Democrats' concession on reproductive choice.
You see, in 2006, the Democrats decided that it was better to have ANYONE with a D after hir name in a House or Senate seat, even if that person was anti-choice. And so they ran Bob Casey, a man who was both anti-choice and a supporter of anti-choice SCOTUS justice Sam Alito, because they believed only an anti-choice candidate could beat Santorum. The Democratic leadership's support of the anti-choice Casey was vociferously protested by progressive feminists such as myself who predicted that demoting women's fundamental right to bodily autonomy to a negotiable platform plank would inevitably lead to an expectation of the Dems to concede ground on choice on the federal level.
We were dismissed as hysterics and trouble-makers who did not understand the way politics works.
It was aggressively 'splained to us that Casey would beat Santorum, and become a reliable Democratic ally to women despite being anti-choice, and Santorum would go away forever.
Bob Casey did beat Santorum. He went on to co-sponsor the Senate version of the anti-choice Stupak amendment. And Rick Santorum, of course, has a realistic shot at becoming the next President of the United States.
A nation which is more amenable to anti-choice rhetoric than it was even 6 years ago. Huh. I wonder how that happened.
* * *
If being beaten by an anti-choice Democrat was the best thing that ever happened to Rick Santorum, running against Mitt Romney and his unique capacity to implode has to be second. This week in Imploding Romney News: Possibly breaking campaign laws, pissing off conservatives, and failing to seal the deal in Michigan.
Meanwhile, incredibly, Rick Santorum is finding increasing support among women. Or maybe it's not that incredible. The sort of conservative women who like the Santorums of the world are a breed I don't claim to understand. I have Republican female friends, and even they don't get it. They loathe Santorum.
BECAUSE HE IS TERRIBLE, NO DOI!
In other news, Newt Gingrich is still in the race, still being funded by some weirdo in Vegas, and still evidently believes he has a chance of winning the nomination. NO YOU DON'T, NEWT GINGRICH! I can't even see any of the remaining prestestants choosing him as a running mate. Maybe someone is paying him to waste Sheldon Adelson's money. Sheldon Adelson, you should CHECK INTO THAT!
Something something Ron Paul and squeezy handshakes. [Content Note: Various inappropriate language at link, which is a collection of Ron Paul supporters reaction to Rick Santorum shaking Ron Paul's hand very hard after the last debate.] Squeezy handshakers are THE WORST! So I am not surprised that Rick Santorum, who is also THE WORST, is a squeezy handshaker.
I am bitterly amused, however, that Ron Paul supporters are OUTRAGED at the harm of a squeezy handshake, but definitely support institutional racism and federal ownership of bodies with uteri. COOL! So cool your stupid inconsistent ethics!
Finally, some bozo at the Daily Mail (to which I'm not linking because barf) thinks Romney and Ron Paul may have already struck a deal for Paul to be Romney's running mate if he wins the nomination. GO TEAM RO-RO!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
Maryland Senate Approves Civil Marriage Protection Act
So that's some good news to end the day. Yay!
Gov. Martin O'Malley, who sponsored the bill, plans to sign it within the week. Yay!
It's not all peaches and cream here in The Crab Cake State. Two caveats: This doesn't go into effect until next year. And that all but guarantees a referendum come November.
Still, it's good news and a big win.
Random YouTubery
Video Description: A tiny fluffy puppy barks at and challenges a piece of broccoli lying on the floor.
Quote of the Day
"I am 52 and it looks like menopause has finally arrived. I was 13 when Roe was decided. The window of reproductive choice in the U.S. appears to have lasted only as long as my periods did."—Shaker scribbles14, in comments. (Posted on the main page with her permission.)
What a powerful and terrifying observation.
She further notes: "It's even more depressing to reflect that 'choice' has been compromised for so many even during this era of supposedly freer choice."
Utah Moves Closer to No Sex Ed
[Content Note: Reproductive rights.]
I feel like I went to sleep one night in the real world and woke up the next morning in one of Margaret Atwood's nightmares: The Utah House has passed a bill allowing schools to abolish sex education courses and "prohibit[ing] instruction in the use of contraception in those that keep the courses."
"We've been culturally watered down to think we have to teach about sex, about having sex and how to get away with it, which is intellectually dishonest," said bill sponsor Rep. Bill Wright, R-Holden. "Why don't we just be honest with them upfront that sex outside marriage is devastating?"Wow. Just wow.
"Get away with it?" Whut. "Sex outside of marriage is devastating?" Yikes.
This stuff is so far outside my own human experience that I am beginning to suspect I am an alien species. I wish the mothership would come pick me the fuck up already.
Rhetorical Question of the Day
What is it going to take for President Obama to give an address dedicated to reproductive rights? It's kind of a major issue.
At what point will he agree?
Number of the Day
[Content Note: Reproductive rights.]
58%: The percentage of all oral contraceptive users who "rely on the method, at least in part, for purposes other than pregnancy prevention—meaning that only 42% use the pill exclusively for contraceptive reasons."
The study documenting this finding, "Beyond Birth Control: The Overlooked Benefits of Oral Contraceptive Pills," (pdf) by Rachel K. Jones of the Guttmacher Institute ... revealed that after pregnancy prevention (86%), the most common reasons women use the pill include reducing cramps or menstrual pain (31%); menstrual regulation, which for some women may help prevent migraines and other painful "side effects" of menstruation (28%); treatment of acne (14%); and treatment of endometriosis (4%). Additionally, it found that some 762,000 women who have never had sex use the pill, and they do so almost exclusively (99%) for noncontraceptive reasons.Just like the fact that most abortion-seeking women are already mothers gets left out of the "dirty slut" framing about abortion, the fact that contraception is used for reasons other than and in addition to preventing pregnancy is getting left out of the "dirty slut" framing about contraception.
["Other hormonal methods such as the ring, patch, implant and IUD offer the same types of noncontraceptive benefits as the pill" but were not included in this study.]
..."It is well established that oral contraceptives are essential health care because they prevent unintended pregnancies," said study author Rachel K. Jones. "This study shows that there are other important health reasons why oral contraceptives should be readily available to the millions of women who rely on them each year."
I would suggest that someone needs to send a memo to the clueless dudes controlling the debate, but I know that they are already aware of these realities. They just don't fucking care.
[H/T to Jacqueline M.]
Daily Dose of Cute
Here is a wee video of Zelly being cute when she wanted to go out last Sunday morning. I have described many times her "Jabba the Mutt" strategy of nose-poking to let us know she wants something, and finally managed to record a bit of it.
She is such a good girl. She is the sweetest, most adorable, clever little dog, and I cannot believe how lucky we are that we found her, just sitting at the pound on death row, waiting for us to spring her. I love her to infinitesimal pieces.
Video Description: Zelda stands in front of the couch, between Iain and me, looking at us and wagging her tail. "What do you think?" I ask her. "Zelda, what do you think about it?" (I don't remember what it was we had been talking about, but probably something to do with Full Metal Jousting, which we were watching and being horrified by at the time.) Wag wag wah. "Sht!" says Iain. Wag wag wah. "Tell Daddy to be sht!" I whisper. Zelly cocks her head. Wag wag wah. "Tell him! Say, 'Daddy, be shushed!'" Wag wag wah. Zelly looks at Iain. "Go on and tell him," I tell her. "Tell him, Zelda!" Zelda pokes him with her nose then backs up and looks at me. "I think that fart really spoke a thousand words," Iain says. Wag wag wah. "Did you fart, Zelly?" I ask. "Did you? Are you Lady Fartington? Eh?" She pokes Iain with her nose then backs up. Wag wag wah. "I think Zelda wants to go out; what do you think?" I ask. "No, she's fine," says Iain. Wag wag wah. "Zelda!" I exclaim. "Do you want to go out?" She cocks her head. Wag wag wah. Iain gets up out of his chair and Zelly looks at him excitedly, doing two steps of her excited dance. "OH MY GOD!" says Iain, as he walks for the door. Zelly follows. Wag wag wah. "LIVSY!" exclaims Iain, at Livs, who is offscreen. I laugh. "DUDLEY!" he cries. The video cuts out there, but he went on to say, "DUDLEY YOU'RE A DOG! REPORT FOR DOG BUSINESS!"
Below the fold, a still image of Zelly being cute for those who cannot view video, and Dudley's reaction to the GOP debate last night...
Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime
Gaye Bykers On Acid: "Everything's Groovy"
On Youtube, the video's creator Flux Lasers wrote this:
A video I made on a particularly boring day during the summer of 1991. It was made using a Hi8 video camera and a domestic Sony video recorder.
It features the first laser I ever owned.... and stuff from my flat, including my cat.
I love this video.
About that same time I was making similar videos. The rubber skeletons, the plasma ball, the candles, the Grebo music. I used every one of those. This person may as well have been my doppelganger.
I love this video so hard.
This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.
[Content Note: Reproductive rights, racism, homophobia.]
James Taranto in the Wall Street Journal—Unplanned Parenthood: Illegitimacy and the liberal elite.
Just the title alone is GREAT, is it not?
I think my favorite line is: "Not an insignificant number of affluent women who want children make the same mistake of putting off marriage until it's too late, because of unrealistic expectations about men and about the duration of their own fertility."
But my favorite part of the whole piece is the barfy piece of clipart accompanying the article:
LOL.
More Debate Highlights
[Content Note: Reference to spanking.]
For those of you who missed the debate last night (LUCKY!), here are some more highlights that the ELITE MEDIA doesn't want you to see:
Ron Paul went in the Spanking Machine!
Newt Gingrich led the crowd in a rousing rendition of "We Are the World."
Mitt Romney left Gingrich hanging! BURN!
Romney and Gingrich had a good laugh about that time Romney left Gingrich hanging.
Rick Santorum offered to stick his thumb up Romney's butt. Romney was into it.
The cheese stood alone.
Primarily Gross
So, the Four Horsemen of the Crapocalypse had another debate last night, who can say on what channel. It's a mystery lost to the sands of time. To keep things interesting after 87,000 debates, the candidates were all inexplicably seated at elementary school desks from THE FUTURE. Neat!
Here is my Executive Summary of the debate: Taxes, morning-after abortion pills, illegals, nukes, Obamacare, bootstraps, America, Jesus, taxes, amen.
In what was probably my most retweeted tweet of all time, I described the debate last night as: Four white men talking about contraception without saying "women" and immigration without saying "immigrants."
As always, I recommend Richard's coverage.
* * *
The highlight of the evening—which was COMPREHENSIVELY AWESOME, don't get me wrong!—was when John King asked the candidates this viewer question: "Since birth control is the latest hot topic, which candidates believe in birth control, and, if not, why?" HA HA YEP! In the year 2012, in the United States of America, presidential candidates are being asked if they "believe" in birth control! It almost makes me want to live here TOO much!
Anyway, the audience greeted this question with jeers and boos, and—surprise!—it is not because they are angry the question even needs to be asked, or because their candidates are overreaching, but because it's SO UNFAIR that anyone would question these fine, upstanding, ethical defenders of forcible pregnancy:
[John King asks question, followed by audience jeering and booing, then John King starts to say, "Look, we're not gonna spend a ton of time on this—" when Newt Gingrich interrupts him]Everything about those sentences is wrong. Also: Get a load of the unmitigated cheek that Newt Gingrich is complaining about being required to address contraception as an issue when his party has been busily making it a central issue of this election.
Gingrich: Can I just make a point? [crosstalk] I wanna make two quick points, John. The first is: There is a legitimate question about the power of the government to impose on religion activities which any religion opposes. That's legitimate. [applause] But I just want to point out: You did not once in the 2008 campaign, not once did anyone in the elite media, ask why Barack Obama voted in favor of legalizing infanticide. [huge cheers and applause] Okay? So let's be clear here: If we're gonna have a debate about who the extremist is on these issues, it is President Obama, who, as a state senator voted to protect doctors who kill babies who survive the abortion. [cheers and applause] It is not the Republicans!
"We just want to create and subsequently exploit contentious and deeply divisive issues! We don't want to be held accountable for it! Geez!"—The GOP.
* * *
Best tweet of the night, for undilutedly gormless understatement, goes to CNN's David Gergen:
Many women on twitter saying these candidates don't get women's rights, live in past, want to control.Your view?#cnndebate
— David Gergen (@David_Gergen) February 23, 2012
LOL FOREVER. "Your view?" LOL. LOL. LOL. Sob.
* * *
Here are some real things the candidates said during the debate:
Ron Paul: "You don't have women's rights or men's rights."
Rick Santorum: "The most prolific proliferator in the world."
Mitt Romney: "I get to give the answers I want."
Newt Gingrich spent a minute or so mocking the idea of instilling children with self-esteem, which of course got big applause and cheers from the audience.
There's no dignity in compassionateconservativismball!
* * *
Here's a fun fact about the debate: Throughout the entire thing, only one candidate said the word "unemployment" once, and that was Newt Gingrich referencing a low unemployment rate while he was Speaker (and Bill Clinton was president). None of them addressed the chronic levels of record high unemployment the country is currently suffering.
They did manage, however, to address at length the HORROR of Title X—the federal grant program designed to provide family planning and preventive health services to low-income and/or uninsured individuals and families, which was enacted in 1970 by renowned dirty hippie Richard Nixon.
PRIORITIES! The Republican Party has them!
* * *
Next Up: Super Tuesday!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
Republican Debate
Is anyone else watching this fucking thing? HOLY SHIT. Whoooooooooooooops our democracy!
Question of the Day
What was the last thing you accomplished that, ten years earlier, you never would have believed you'd accomplish?
YOWZA: DOMA's Federal Definition of Marriage Ruled Unconstitutional
This is big news! Big GOOD news!
Today, the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California issued its order finding that Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act -- the federal definition of marriage -- is unconstitutional in Golinski v. Office of Personnel Management, Karen Golinski's challenge to the denial of her request for equal health insurance benefits for her wife.Now this is where the President's instruction to the Justice Department to cease defending the constitutionality of DOMA in court any longer comes into play. Tara Borelli, the lead Lambda Legal attorney on the case, said in a statement: "This ruling, the first to come after the Justice Department announced it would no longer defend this discriminatory statute in court, spells doom for DOMA. The Court recognized the clear fact that a law that denies one class of individuals the rights and benefits available to all others because of their sexual orientation violates the constitutional guarantee of equality embodied in the Fifth Amendment."
Golinski, a federal court employee, brought suit after her request was denied. She is represented by Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund.
Rock the fuck on.
You can read the entire decision here (pdf).
ETA. Next up: Passing the Respect for Marriage Act, which, fortunately, already has the President's support.
We Ride Inside
[Content Note: Animal cruelty.]
[Click on the image to visit Dogs Against Romney.]
Recently, it has emerged that, despite Mitt Romney's claims that his dog Seamus loved riding on top of their car and Ann Romney's claims that Seamus lived to a ripe old age, two of their sons "had an off-record conversation with reporters where they revealed the dog ran away when they reached their destination on that infamous journey in 1983."
There are a lot of reasons that Mitt Romney should never be president, and there are those who would argue this is the least among them. I am personally of the opinion that a man who mistreats an animal in his care and then lies about it has breached a sacred trust, and yet one of the easiest to uphold for anyone with a functional sense of empathy. He has disqualified himself.
[Previously: Primarily Gross; Photo of the Day.]
I Cannot Truly Want What I Am Told I Must Have
This is my experience: I have never wanted children.
When Iain and I first started talking about the possibility of spending some significant part of our lives together, I told him flatly: "I don't want children. If that's a deal-breaker, I understand, but don't get involved with me thinking you'll change my mind, because I won't." He said, with the obnoxious confidence of a young privileged man dating his first feminist, "It's not a deal-breaker, although I think you might change your mind." I chuckled. Instead, he has changed his.
Our family is complete.
Part of being a straight cis woman who is childless by choice is that you get asked why—why you don't have children, and, if you are bold enough to say you don't want them, why it is that you don't.
I started saying I don't want children from a very young age—my oldest ladyfriend, the oft-mentioned C whom I have known since I was 11, once described a shocking event by saying, "The only thing weirder would have been you announcing you were pregnant!"—so I've been asked to consider why it is that I don't want children for much of my life, and I've never had a great answer.
I used to say, simply and straightforwardly, "I'm selfish," which is true. I like lots of time to myself, and I relish the particular flexible liberty that can't coexist with obligation, and I enjoy the psychic freedom of never having to stay on top of a child's schedule in addition to my own. But it's more than that. I knew that even when I said it, and I said it primarily because that is what people tend to believe, irrespective of its veracity.
I sometimes say, to people with whom I can be more frank, that it is because I am afraid to be pregnant (true) and that I am afraid to duplicate the same dysfunctions that defined my family of origin (also true). But it's more than that, too.
Not having an answer isn't something that plagues my mind, because "I just don't" is sufficient for my own self-satisfaction, and I have never felt as though I owe anyone a more detailed explanation than that which contents my own curiosity.
But watching the onslaught of legislative attacks on reproductive rights unfold over the last couple of years, something has begun to percolate at the back of my mind—an answer to that question, a response to the why. In the last few weeks, under the oppressive drumbeat of this dehumanization, this thought has crawled out of its chrysalis and inched its way forward toward conscious thought.
I have never been more acutely aware of my reductive purpose as a babymaking machine, more subject to incessant, inescapable, insistent reminders that my personhood is debatable, that I am nothing if I don't use my body to have children, that I am a uterus with some meat attached in service to its reproductive capacity.
And comes the realization from deep down in the darkest depths of me that I do not want children, that I have never wanted children, because of my desperate yearning to be a whole person, to matter, always and only, on the value of me and not the other little people I am supposed to create.
Please understand: I do not judge other women who are parents by the measure of their reproductive choice. I am merely acknowledging my understanding of how society, and some of the particular subcultures and communities of which I am a member, would judge me if I made the same choice—and certainly judges them.
No one, after all, knows better the ways that motherhood can be used to devalue women than a mother.
I have understood, intuitively, from a very early age that, in this culture, in the spaces in which I move, to have children is to dilute one's value as a human, even as it is to enhance one's value as a woman.
To have children, in this culture, in the spaces in which I move, has felt and feels still like a concession to a destiny in which I felt I had no choice, unless I chose childlessness.
This is the thought that the assault on reproductive rights has laid across my consciousness in the past days, weeks: I don't want children, because I so dearly want a choice, because I so ardently want autonomy, because I so desperately want my full humanity. And I have lived a lifetime in spaces—familial spaces, religious spaces, educational spaces, cultural spaces—in which virtually every message I received encouraged me, coaxed me, cajoled me, coerced me into childbearing.
And now it is the endgame: Now they fight to force me.
It should come as no surprise that a movement seeking to limit my choice makes me feel like I don't have one. And still, I am rather astonished to discover that I have simply never felt that having children was ever a choice I believed I could enthusiastically make on my own, without having been compromised by the crushing pressure of procreative, anti-choice rhetoric.
For the first time, I consider the possibility that I don't even really know if I want children or don't want them. All I know with certainty is that I will not have them.
Not like this.
Quote of the Day
"My family and I took a view and we're sticking by it. My girls are no longer Girl Scouts. They're now going to join American Heritage Girls."—Indiana State Representative and Professor of Smartology at Genius University Bob Morris (R-Ancid), doubling down on, and refusing to apologize for, his contention that the Girl Scouts is a 'radicalized organization' that promotes abortion and homosexuality.
I love how, in 24 hours, it went from his view to the view of his entire family, despite the fact that he came to his conclusion by doing "a small amount of web-based research," not by, y'know, actually speaking to "his girls" who are, or were, actually Girl Scouts.
Interesting, that. By which I mean: Totally predictable.
Btw, the American Heritage Girls is, in case you hadn't guessed, "an alternative group for young girls run by conservative Christians."
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by gently falling snow.
Recommended Reading:
scatx: On Mandated Transvaginal Ultrasounds [Content Note: The post at this link contains an image of and discussion of transvaginal ultrasounds.]
Tami: Whitney's "Home Going" and the Spiritual Divide [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of racism and Othering.]
Lisa: Welcome Back 1950s - We missed you...um...not really. [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of sexual violence, stalking, and the effects of limiting reproductive choice.]
Alex: Gamers Launch Harassment Campaign Against BioWare Writer [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of harassment, threats, misogyny, and homophobia.]
Eesha: Hillary Clinton Says "Culture" Is No Excuse for Female Genital Cutting
s.e.: Reproductive Parts [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of the dehumanization associated with limiting reproductive choice.]
Fannie: So, You Want To Teach the Lady Feminists?
Echidne: Defiant Hair! On Michelle Duggar's Tips For All Subjugated Wives.
Grace: Meaningful Accountability vs. Silencing Criticism [Content Note: The post at this link contains discussion of violence, predation, and abuse.]
Andy: Obama Sings 'Sweet Home Chicago' at the White House
Finally: Do you want to know how much it would cost to build the Death Star? Sure you do!
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Not Crazy
[Content Note: Reproductive rights; ableism.]
Related to this previous thought about the efficacy of contraception as a wedge issue, I'm also seeing a lot of variations on the argument that conservatives' attack on contraception is really exposing their grody retrofuck attitudes about sex and/or women.
And I keep wondering: Exposing it to whom?
Are there people who really don't know or understand that a significant segment of the US' rightwing are deeply hostile to notions of consent, autonomy, and choice? Are undeterrably anti-choice? Are of the fervent belief that women's primary function is babymaking?
It is my estimation that pretty much everyone already knows that. The problem that led us to this moment is not ignorance; the problem is that the vast majority of the people who don't share the extremists' view did not take them seriously, and did not view this assault on reproductive rights—including contraception—as a logical outgrowth of an extreme anti-choice and anti-feminist position, but instead dismissed it out of hand with smug ableism: They're crazy. They're wackos. They're nutbags. They're batshit nuts. They're the lunatic fringe.
Nope. They're very rational, patient, determined, and methodical actors, who have been quietly waging war on reproductive rights in state legislatures for decades.
They're not insane. They're cruel and they're wrong.
They're also very well-funded, and happy to be ignored, dismissed as maniacs, so they can toil away in the blessed darkness of inattention.
They're also, by the way, extremely appreciative that feminist critics sounding the alarm have been similarly dismissed as paranoid hysterics, as well.
What is being exposed is not their attitude. What is being exposed is their influence—and the regrettable ways in which progressives have actually abetted it.
Whoops.
Happy Birthday, Aphra Behn!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You look like a radical Girrrrrrrrl Scouuuuuuuut!
And you smell like one, tooooooooooooo!
Mmm...Samoas!
Primarily Stupid
GOOD MORNING! If you are still maintaining maximum enthusiasm for the TOTALLY EXCITING AND VERY AWESOME Republican Primary, please check this box: □
If you failed to check the enthusiasm box, perhaps this will help pump your enthusiasm back to maximum enthusiosity:
[Click to embiggen. Source.]
Terrific headline. Good job! Give them ALL the Pulitzers.
It's really the monster hands in the accompanying image that really make it, I think. Rrrrowwwrrr! I am the demon-lord of the Cumming rally!
Speaking of demons and Rick Santorum, watch out because the devil's gonna gitcha! That's what
He then went on to say something rather remarkable: "If they want to dig up old speeches of me talking to religious groups, they can go ahead and do so, but I'm going to stay on message and I'm going to talk about things that Americans want to talk about, which is creating jobs, making our country more secure, and yeah, taking on the forces around this world who want to do harm to America, and you bet I will take them on."
But I'm going to stay on message. Santorum basically just flatly admitted he's concealing his extremist garbage beliefs in order to make himself more electable. Which, of course, all politicians do, but few of them are stupid enough to admit it so bluntly. And few of them have objectionable positions as wildly objectionable as Rick Santorum's.
"The devil made me do it!"—Rick Santorum.
It was probably also the devil that made him pro-choice until he decided to run for office and did some Bob Morris-style research that convinced him he should totes be a misogynist anti-choice fuckhead instead.
It really makes you wonder what goes through this guy's head. (No it doesn't. His head is a scary place.) Luckily, one of my top secret sources got a hold of Rick Santorum's notebook, so we could get a gander at what he doodles during those boring campaign events.
I'm worried about Rick Santorum, y'all.
MOVING ON!
Something something Ron Paul. Liberty, freedom, liberty, freedom, forcible pregnancy, honest rape. It's in the Constitution! Look it up.
Newt Gingrich is definitely still in the race, and he is being urged to be himself in the next debate, which is tonight, because there hasn't been a debate in literally five minutes. Great advice! PERFECT, even. Be yourself, Newt Gingrich! Everyone definitely loves you!
Mitt Romney is still campaigning like Mitt Romney; that is, by saying very stupid things on a constant basis. Here are two good examples!
1. Romney says Obama has 'fought against religion.' Nope! No he hasn't. That is very stupid, Mitt Romney.
2. Romney: 'Labor unions play an important role in our society.' Yes, yes they do! You are so right, Mitt Romney—and yet you are still so stupid, because that is definitely NOT what Republican voters want to hear! See also.
Even when Mitt Romney is smart, he is stupid! Poor Mitt Romney. I would feel soooooooooooooo sad for him if he weren't a garbage nightmare of a candidate whose definition of presidential stewardship weren't to usher in a corporatocracy as quickly as possible!
Hey! Speaking of corporatocracy, I couldn't have been MORE THRILLED I MEAN MORE BARFINATED when I read that President Obama is going to propose lowering the nation's corporate tax rate from 35% to 28%! (See previously.) WHAT A GREAT IDEA! LET'S DEFINITELY DO THAT!
Again I will note the irony of conservatives' bitter partisan rancor directed at President Obama when he is basically a straight-up Republican. Good times.
In other news, Donald Trump might still run for president. Terrific.
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
The Downton Abbey Thread
All right, you Downton Abbey bitchez! Under threat of havoc by Portly Dyke, I finally relented and watched both seasons in a marathon of chiffon and melodrama and blubbing my face off, so here is the thread that EVERY SINGLE PERSON EVER has been begging me for!
(Except for Iain. Who tells me that he moved to America so he didn't have to watch that shit anymore. LOL!)
I pretty much love it to rotten little pieces, except for one thing, and it is not a small thing: Almost to a man, all of the white straight men are ethical paragons, even if the Laird is a bumblefuck who always has to get it wrong before he gets it right, and it is only women, gay men, and Mr. Kemal Pamuk who are the scheming and coercive scoundrels. The exceptions to that rule are white men who are not of the aristocratic class: Sir Richard, primarily, and Tom Branson, who was often unreasonably cajoling and snide with Sybil.
Whoooooooooooooops that is a problem! Please fix it in Season Three!
Otherwise, I truly adore all the social justice commentary up in my period drama, especially the feminist stuff: Mary's line "My life makes me angry. Not you." was one of my favorite things ever. EVER!
And I shall save the rest for comments.
Discuss!
Happy Birthday, Shark-fu!
Happy Birthday! I got you a cake with Darth Vader and Batman lightsaber-dueling while riding on sharks' backs because OMG LOOK AT THAT CAKE!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You're our favorite Angry Black Biiii-iiiitch!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
News I Don't Want to Write About
Here is all the news I don't want to write about today:
INSERT EVERY ONE OF THE EIGHT BILLION STORIES I'VE READ ABOUT VARIOUS LEGISLATION AND/OR LEGISLATORS AND/OR RELIGIOUS PEOPLE AND/OR GENERAL CATEGORY FUCKOS WHO WANT TO CODIFY INTO LAW THAT I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A UTERUS WITH SOME MEAT AROUND IT.
That's right. I can't even write about FOR REALZ the news I don't want to write about today. It is too depressing and rage-making and terrifying, and I am too full of contempt to function!
Okay, one thing! I will mention ONE THING as perfectly emblematic of the abject fuckery with which we're dealing up in this garbage fart of a democracy: Illinois farming committee passes two anti-abortion bills.
Yeah, you read that right! The Illinois State House's AGRICULTURE AND CONSERVATION COMMITTEE is fucking around with abortion, because it's the only committee conservative enough to PASS THIS SHIT.
In opposition, protestors wore t-shirts reading: "Women are NOT livestock."
HA HA, I thought upon reading that grim report, BY THE TIME THE REPUBLICANS ARE DONE WITH US, WE'LL ASPIRE TO BE FUCKING LIVESTOCK.
www.fuckeverything.fart
Photo of the Day
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum reacts to the terrible news
that women and other people with uteri are still technically considered human.
Daily Dose of Cute
[Content Note: The video below includes footage of Dudley making growly sounds and both Dudley and Zelly baring their teeth at each other. They're just playing, but they are play-fighting, so if dog aggression is triggering or otherwise problematic for you, you should skip this video.]
Mostly, Dudley and Zelda play straight-up chase in the backyard, but sometimes they mix it up by throwing a little Bitey Game into the mix—which makes for loads of tumbling cuteness as Zelly dives and rolls to escape Dudz. My favorite is when she rolls and then pops up right into a play-bow. Megadorbz! I finally managed to record a bit of it.
Dudley and Zelda stand beside each other, wagging their tails. Dudz lunges at Zelly with a fearsome growl (lulz) and Zelly takes off. They run back and forth, Zelly leaping and swerving just out of reach of Dudley's snapping jaws. Dudley goes for her, and she tumbles into a dramatic roll, then lands in a big play-bow, her roundy butt in the air. She leaps at him, and he gives chase. They run around the yard in a wide circle, through winter-naked vines and through the ivy and back into the grass. Zelly rolls; pops up; rears up at Dudley. He growls and they leap around. They come to a sudden stop, each waiting for the other to make a move. Dudley play-bows, and it's back on. Wrassle, tumble, chase! They play-bite at each others' faces. One more lackluster tussle. They pant tiredly. Zelda walks away. Dudz shakes himself off, then begins to dig like a BAD DOG! Fin.
Good Job, Saturday Night Live! LADIES!
[Content Note: Rape culture.]
This past weekend, Maya Rudolph—whom, as I may have mentioned once or twice, ahem, I love like a loved thing made from love with lots of little lovey bits all over it—hosted SNL, and it was pretty terrific. It was approximately eleventy billion times better with a professional doing the hosting, not searching for cue cards every five seconds, and, unless I'm mistaken (I was chatting with Iain and Kenny Blogginz through some of the broadcast, as per usual), they managed to air an entire episode without rape jokes! IMAGINE THAT!
Even better: Amy Poehler dropped by for some of the skits, and to do a very memorable "REALLY?!? With Seth and Amy" in which Poehler and Seth Meyers tackled Darrell Issa's contraception hearing (Meyers: "Meanwhile, both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum use the rhythm method, and, with five and eight kids respectively, it seems like they might have even less rhythm than we thought."), Foster Friess' aspirin-between-the-knees gag (Poehler: "Well, we'd love to accept your apology, Foster, but you made a mistake, and now you're going to have to live with that mistake for the rest of your life. REALLY!"), and Virgina's proposed bill to mandate transvaginal ultrasounds before abortions (Poehler: "Now, don't get me wrong: I love Transvaginal—it's my favorite airline! I got so many miles on Transvaginal that I always get updated to Ladybusiness!").
Better still: Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler together again for "Bronx Beat." As a person who spent her childhood summers listening to the ladies talking on the stoops in my grandmother's Queens neighborhood, I always love this sketch with the passion of 10,000 suns. "It's 2012! We're all gonna die anyway! Live your life!" Done and done!
Also loved: The Maya Angelou Prank Show and Cosby Obama.
But my favorite of the night was the "Super Showcase" sketch, in which Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig lampooned "The Price Is Right" merchandize models. There was nothing about the sketch that was super innovative or searingly clever: It was just Rudolph and Wiig speaking with the same funny cadence and acting supremely silly. Then: The best of all SNL moments—Wiig broke, then Rudolph almost broke, then Bill Hader (playing the gameshow host) broke. Comedy gold.
Video Description: A female contestant loses the Super Showcase after incorrectly answering "beef" for an unheard question the correct answer to which was "nine." Then Shonda and Vonda (Rudolph and Wiig) show her what she WOULD have won—his and hers matching luggage by Luggage Guy; a one-day-no-night stay at a Pebble Beach golf resort including his and hers matching golf clubs by Golfer Guy; a lifetime supply of frozen chicken by Chicken Man; and a mantle clock for your mantle by Clockenfrau. Throughout, Wiig is driving around in a golf cart, and eventually crashes through the back of the stage.
Next Week on Saturday Night Live: Back to mostly white men and rape jokes!
Which, you know, is pretty sad. Because I got A LOT of emails about how great this episode was and/or how great individual sketches were. Women are funny (breaking news!) and rape jokes aren't (breaking news!), and it's possible to do an entire hour-and-a-half-show centering both concepts.
They just usually choose not to.
Of Course: Prop 8 Fuckos Will File for Court Review
These are seriously some of the most pathetic people on the planet:
Charles Cooper, the lead attorney for the proponents of Proposition 8, tells Metro Weekly that the proponents of the California marriage amendment will be asking the full U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit to review the three-judge panel decision issued on Feb. 7 holding that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.More projection of the catastrophically irony-impaired: Nary a same-sex marriage has ever undermined an opposite-sex marriage, but these opposite-sexly married bozos have spent an inordinate amount of time, energy, and money to undermine same-sex marriages in California.
Although Cooper, of Cooper and Kirk PLLC, told Metro Weekly the filing has not yet been made, the filing is expected later today as today is the deadline for the filing to seek en banc review.
The move almost guarantees that the U.S. Supreme Court will not consider the case before this November's presidential election.
...After en banc consideration, the unsuccessful party could then petition the U.S. Supreme Court to hear the case. At that point, the parties submit written arguments explaining to the court why the justices should or should not hear the case. Then, if four of the nine justices agree to hear the case, another round of briefing occurs, with the parties and outside organizations and individuals arguing the merits of the case to the justices. Oral arguments are then set and held at the Supreme Court, and some time later a decision is handed down.
It would be hilarious, if only decent people's family lives and loves and basic right to equal participation in their communities and country weren't at stake.
Alcatraz Open Thread
Did you watch Alcatraz last night? What did you think of it? Did you love it? I did! I LOVED IT. I love it more every week!
Here are the Top 5 things I loved about it (some minor spoilers):
1. I love Sarah Jones! I love her character, Det. Rebecca Madsen, soooooooooo much! I love that she is continually shown to be both a well-trained and very competent police officer, in both intellectual and physical ways. I have seen SO MANY police procedurals and/or law enforcement/special agent/spy films in which female agents are tough—until the precise moment in which they must be not-tough to give a male character the opportunity for some heroic rescuin'! Last night on Alcatraz, there was a scene in which Madsen was grabbed from behind, and it looked, ever so briefly, like Sam Neill (whose character name I can never remember and can't be arsed to look up—Ellison? Elliot? Emerson? Whatever.) was going to save her, but GUESS WHO SAVED HER? If you guessed that she saved herself by using recognizable self-defense techniques that a female cop would indeed probably know, give yourself 1,000 points!
Aside: Last night, Deeks mentioned via text that it's strange there aren't any gay characters on Alcatraz, given that it's set in San Francisco and all. I replied that perhaps Detective Madsen is a lesbian. I kind of think she is, but I don't have any reason to think that, aside from the fact that we (remarkably!) haven't had a scene of her at home in bed with her dude who's totally a sculptor or subjected to a sub-plot about her dead fiance. Maybe I just hope she is. Which I do. Because: 1. Come on already, Hollywood; and 2. The dearth of major gay characters in Lost always bothered me.
2. I love Jorge Garcia! I love his character, Dr. Diego Soto, soooooooooo much! I continue to dig how the character serves as the reminder that violence is real and ugly and difficult to process, and I like how he fancies the M.E. who wears the comic tees, and how she maybe kinda fancies him, too.
3. I love the score! I know I have said this before, but OMG Michael Giacchino your score is soooooooooo good!
4. I love the mystery! Also! I have a theory: It seems like Dr. Sangupta's very creepy work has something to do with rehabilitation, but it wasn't very successful, since all the 63s are picking up their criminal ways exactly where they left off. And I suspect that we may be heading toward a central commentary about the failures of hard incarceration and torture in rehabilitation, underlying the mystery about the time jumping. That would be very neat!
5. Everything else!
Infographic of the Day
The above infographic is care of Water.org, a charity to which I donate and which I strongly endorse, particularly for their emphasis on improving women's and children's lives by making clean water more readily accessible. Accessible water allows women time to fully participate in their communities, and allows children time for their education.
Find out how to get involved here. Donate with a credit card here, or with alternate payment options (like PayPal) here.
Texting! With Liss and Deeky!
Two Facts: 1. I don't smoke cigarettes or weed anymore, and I don't drink coffee, or tea, or booze ("You don't drink any grown-up drinks!"—Iain), and I work at home, so I don't step out for lunch or walk past newsstands anymore, all of which conspires to limit my opportunities for the little $5 splurges that, when one can afford them, make life a little more pleasurable. 2. It turns out, I have more fun spending $5 to buy the most horrendously weird piece of shit and sending it to Deeky than on pretty much anything else in the world.
The Walking Thread
Glenn takes a moment for himself to contemplate the incomprehensible fuckery
of AMC having shit-canned Frank Darabont.
(Spoilers lurch undeadly herein.)
It's official, Shakers: I now watch The Walking Dead just to hate it. And I can tell you the exact moment at which the switch from love-hate to hate-hate happened—it was when Lori, at the end of the episode, referred to herself and Carl as things that Rick "owns." Yiiiiiiiiiiiikes nope. This is where I get off the bus!
The show's biggest issue, for me, is its chronic disrespect of agency. The main (male) characters are continually making decisions for everyone else, without ever asking them what they want or providing them with good information which they can use to make decisions for themselves. Like, during the whole endless argument over what to do with the guy harpooned on the fence, no one ever stops for five seconds to ask him: "What do YOU want?" Or like, Shane tells Lori that Rick's back at the farm to get her to return with him, instead of just giving her honest info and letting her make an informed choice for herself. Etc.
It's INFURIATING to watch—and, at a time when, for example, a bunch of dudes are making decisions about women's et. al. reproductive rights, this show isn't making any sort of critical commentary on how inherently grody making decisions for other adult human beings is, especially when their lives are on the line.
And I suspect that's because this show doesn't actually see the problem with it.
Quote of the Day
"After talking to some well-informed constituents, I did a small amount of web-based research, and what I found is disturbing."—Indiana State Representative and Professor of Smartology at Genius University Bob Morris (R-Eally?!), explaining his thoroughly reliable research process in a letter "to fellow Republican members of the Indiana House saying he will not support a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because he believes it is a 'radicalized organization' that supports abortion and promotes homosexuality."
Don't question him. He spent more than six minutes at Conservapedia. What have YOU ever done?! That's what I thought.
As for me, I actually was a Girl Scout in Indiana, and I can confirm that Morris is right. I could barely learn anything about the buddy system or the local flora or how to hawk cookies in between all the abortion demonstrations and lesbian pillow-fights at sleepaway camp!
[H/T to Deeks.]
Primarily Horrendo
[Thanks to Shaker Lysis for the inspiration.]
If there's one thing I hope in this world, it's that everyone is maintaining MAXIMUM ENTHUSIASM for the Republican Primary! G-O-P! G-O-P! Chant it with me, everyone! Give me a G! Give me an O! Give me a P! What's that spell?! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOPS FOR AMERICA!
Today's Big News is MONEY. I'm talking about cash money—dollar bills, y'all! (HA HA that song should definitely be the theme song of the Republican Party! Because it's about how money corrupts! That song is VERY MISUSED in LOTS OF COMMERCIALS!) Thanks to the awesome Supreme Court and their awesome decision in the awesome case of Citizens United, there is SO MUCH MONEY in this election! Which is GREAT, because if there's one thing I've always said is missing from the US Democracy, it's that the presidency should go to the highest bidder. It's only fair. FREE SPEECH!
Look at all this FREE SPEECH!
New York Times—GOP Campaigns Grow More Dependent on 'Super PAC' Aid: "Weeks of intense campaigning in the early nominating states have left the leading Republican presidential candidates increasingly dependent on millions of dollars spent on their behalf by outside 'super PACs,' reports filed with the Federal Election Commission on Monday showed. ... The spending reports revealed the breadth and power of super PACs as the campaign hits a critical and perhaps decisive period, with outside groups poised to pick up a growing share of political spending during the costly primary battle that lies ahead."
Politico—Pro-Rick Santorum PAC Picks Up Another Mega-Donor: "The super PAC supporting Rick Santorum's presidential campaign pulled in $2.1 million in January—half of which came from a relatively low-profile Louisiana energy executive, according to a report filed Monday evening with the Federal Election Commission. The Red, White and Blue Fund super PAC spent $1.4 million boosting Santorum's cash-strapped campaign last month, and was credited with helping him win the Iowa caucuses."
Forbes—Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Says He Might Give $100M To Newt Gingrich Or Other Republican:
Sheldon Adelson plays as stubbornly in politics as he does in business. So the criticisms that he's trying to personally buy the presidential election for Newt Gingrich are met with a roll of the eyes. "Those people are either jealous or professional critics," Adelson tells me during his first interview since he and his wife began funneling $11 million, with another $10 million injection widely expected, into the former speaker's super PAC, Winning Our Future. "They like to trash other people. It's unfair that I've been treated unfair—but it doesn't stop me. I might give $10 million or $100 million to Gingrich."HA HA GREAT!
Adelson, the 78-year-old CEO of casino giant Las Vegas Sands, certainly can afford to: With a net worth of roughly $25 billion, that $11 million, which jolted Gingrich's flatlining presidential bid back to life, equates to 0.044% of his fortune. For someone with a $1 million net worth, the equivalent would be $440, or a two-night stay at Adelson's Venetian casino. Adelson could personally fund an entire presidential campaign—say, $1 billion or so—and not even notice.
ABC News has all the fundraising info you can shake a comically oversized check at!
Perfection.
Newt Gingrich is still in the race! He has not dropped out yet! See above.
Something something Ron Paul, who likes his jackets like he likes his novelty checks: Comically oversized and paid for with GOLD!
Mitt Romney is still ceding ground to Rick Santorum, but he's just going to keep doing what he's doing—hanging around not being everyone else—until Santorum eventually implodes because he does things like compare President Obama to Hitler. Whooooooops your completely offensive and ALSO historically inaccurate metaphor!
In other news, my garbage governor Mitch Daniels still refuses to run for president. Don't worry, everyone—he'll run next time! FINGERS CROSSED!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
