Hosted by Scott Favor.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
Number of the Day
24: The number of lies, or uh "myths," that Republican Vice-Presidential nominee Paul Ryan told in 40 minutes of speaking during the debate last night.
At least 24.
What a cool candidate from a super political party.
In The News
[Content note: homophobia, racism, misogyny, violence]
Friday, News, Hole:
Other debate hews: Joe "Sam the Wurzelbacher" Plumber failed to show up for a scheduled debate Wednesday. Great campaign you've got there! Good luck!
Racist douchebag pastor Terry Jones was denied entry into Canada yesterday. Good on you, Canada.
Three women got sick after working in the filthy garage of the suburban Houston house, which was later quarantined, for an upcoming episode of the TLC series Hoarding: Buried Alive. Seems like that was bound to happen sooner or later. Get well, cast and crew of Hoarding: Buried Alive!
A gay Charlotte couple was attacked on the street in Asheville, North Carolina. The couple are concerned police aren't taking the crime seriously. North Carolina's hate crimes law does not cover sexual orientation.
A gay club in Moscow was attacked by twenty masked thugs, just days after Orthodox Christian activists called for a ban on LGBT nightspots.
Organizers of the Anoka, Minnesota, Halloween Parade have denied a request from a gay youth group to participate, telling the group that the parade was already full. It turns out that may have been a lie.
Radical Islamist fuckheads are compiling a list of unmarried mothers in northern Mali, raising fears of cruel punishments such as stoning, amputations and executions.
Scott Walker (not that Scott Walker) has a new album coming out. Here is a trailer for the upcoming Bish Bosch, scheduled for release this December.
Starting January 27, the price of a U.S. first-class stamp will increase one cent to 46 cents. Postcard postage will rise to 33 cents. How will this effect garbage treasure deliveries? No one knows!
PBS (enjoy it while you can!) Fans: Downtown Abbey star Joanne Froggatt got married over the weekend.
TruFact™: Herman's Head was Liss' favourite TV show in 1995.
Daily Dose of Cute
Dudley
"You can't catch me!" (He can totally catch her.)
Zelda
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Scents. Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by hats.
Recommended Reading:
Andy: Obama Watched VP Debate from Air Force One, 'Could Not Be Prouder' of Biden
Imara: Paul Ryan Sticks to His Guns—and Points Them at the Social Safety Net
MM Research: Fox News Hosts on Biden Debate Performance: Maybe He Was Drinking
Atrios: Whose Advantage
crunkista: Please Feel Free to Keep Your Bullshit Apology [Content Note: Homophobia.]
Avital: Getting Out the Vote
Melissa: Another Day, Another Sexist Controversy [Content Note: Misogyny; harassment.]
Lady T: Why I've Fallen in Love with 'New Girl'
Voting is open for the 2012 Women's' Media Center Social Media Award! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
The Post-Debate Thread
That gif, care of Amadi, pretty much sums up the debate. Rep. Paul Ryan would say something dishonest or stupid; Vice President Joe Biden would react with incredulity, exasperation, and fury. It was pretty awesome.
Of course, Democratic Vice-President Joe Biden being aggressive (and honest) was deemed to be a Terrible Thing by the media who anointed Republican nominee Mitt Romney the winner for being aggressive (and dishonest) last week. Predictable. I tweeted this halfway through the debate last night:
Biden may be called "rude" in the aftermath, but he's not being rude; he's contemptuous--and rightfully so. Ryan's ideas are contemptible.
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) October 12, 2012
Irrespective of the spin, Biden won the debate in a landslide. And even many of the people trying to spin Biden as a bully have to begrudgingly admit he won. He utterly destroyed everything Ryan was saying, and called him out, point-blank, on his "malarkey."
Anyhoo, here are some useful links if you missed it...
My liveblogging is here and here.
The always-great Richard Adams' liveblogging is here.
NPR has video and transcript of the debate here.
Memeorandum has plenty of debate analysis here.
Discuss!
Question of the Day
If you were able to ask one question of both US veep candidates tonight, what would you ask?
Photo of the Day
From the Telegraph's Pictures of the Day for 11 October 2012: The Milky Way's galactic center appears above a sea of clouds in this photograph by Roberto Bertero, who trekked to a remote mountain top to capture the image. He stayed overnight at the summit of Mount Rocciamelone, watching in awe as the sky changed above the Italian Alps. [Roberto Bertero/Solent News]
Pre-Debate Thread
There will be an Open Thread for the vice-presidential debate tonight, but in advance of tonight's HOT DEBATE ACTION, I want to share some resources and thoughts...
You will be able to access livestreaming debate coverage at barackobama.com/debate once the debate begins.
Team Obama will once again be livetweeting and factchecking on Twitter: @TruthTeam2012. Also see @Obama2012 for analysis.
As always, I'll be on Twitter, too: @shakestweetz.
Please feel welcome and encouraged to recommend your own or other Twitter feeds, and additional resources, that will be covering, discussing, or providing analysis of the debate.
* * *
Tonight is the only vice-presidential debate, and the major media meme is that Biden has to hit a home run (or equivalently yawnful sports metaphor) after Obama did poorly in the first presidential debate. It would be great if Biden hits a home run, but ultimately this debate is probably not going to have a huge influence on the election, unless either Biden or Ryan says something extraordinary.
Which is a possibility. Biden has a deserved reputation as a gaffe machine, but, on the other hand, he's also very quick-witted and, unlike Mitt Romney, actually knows what a zinger looks like.
Biden is historically a pretty great debater, but as Iain observed during the Obama-Romney debate: "It's hard to debate someone who lies." Ryan will almost certainly use the same strategy of comprehensive dishonesty that Romney did (although it doesn't sit as well on Ryan; he's a much more obvious liar), which will make Biden's biggest challenge trying to navigate a debate that has no basis in reality.
The good news is that Biden is more naturally disposed toward pugnacity than President Obama. He doesn't shy away from confrontation, and he'll be more willing to call out Ryan's mendacity. Also: He has the benefit of being prepared for it.
I will say again that Vice-President Biden need to take every opportunity he's given (or make opportunities, if needs be) to remind US voters that he drafted the Violence Against Women Act, the reauthorization of which his opponents' party is currently holding up in Congress after turning women's basic rights into a political football.
He should also remind US voters that the man standing beside him on the stage is not only hostile to women's agency, but has tried to change the very definition of rape on the federal level.
There is a STARK difference between these two men of the issue of consent and agency. Joe Biden needs to make that clear. Failing to talk about it only helps Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney.
ANYWAY! Discuss. I'll close this thread once the Open Thread is posted later tonight.
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Books with a Female Protagonist. Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Quote of the Day
"We don't have a setting across this country where if you don't have insurance, we just say to you, 'Tough luck, you're going to die when you have your heart attack.' No, you go to the hospital, you get treated, you get care, and it's paid for—either by charity, the government, or by the hospital. We don't have people that become ill, who die in their apartment because they don't have insurance."—Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, who doesn't know shit about shit.
Romney said something extremely similar on 60 Minutes last month, but the above comment is from an interview he did this week with The Columbus Dispatch. Apparently, in the interceding month, no one has mentioned to the Professor of Healthcare at Fantasy University that, in fact, people do die in their apartments (why does he always imagine uninsured people living in apartments?!) because they lack health insurance.
Partly because lots of people who lack health insurance don't go to the emergency room even when they need it, for fear of crushing medical bills.
In fact, lots of people with shitty insurance—hell, lots of people with GOOD insurance!—make the same decision, because insurance doesn't cover everything. There are deductibles and "patients' portions," that can be 20% (or more) of extraordinarily expensive medical treatment.
I suppose that's something that doesn't matter to a dude worth $250 million, who's probably never even looked at his own medical bills and has no idea that his personal assistant pays whatever his patient portion is along with the rest of his piddling expenses.
But to average USians, taking on the cost of medical care, even with insurance, is something to consider, even in emergencies.
This guy doesn't understand—and evidently doesn't care to understand—a most basic reality of average people's experiences in this country. He is comprehensively unfit to lead a nation with whose residents' lives he hasn't even a cursory familiarity.
For the record: "Emergency rooms serve as a place of last resort, but 45,000 Americans still die every year because they lack health insurance, or one every 12 minutes."
Fuck off, Romney, you cloistered plutocrat.
In The News
[Content note: homophobia, rape, violence]
News, Fits, Spurts, Etc:
A Google Image search for the phrase "completely wrong" now returns a page nearly full of images of Mitt Romney. Whoops!
Are Yetis migrating North? Good god, are they?! ARE THEY?!
Mo Yan, the Chinese writer best known for his 1987 novel Red Sorghum, has won the 2012 Nobel Prize in literature.
The greatest opening to any film review ever? "For those lucky enough to have read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged ... " LOLOLOLOLOL!!! And that's as far as I got reading.
A bunch of monkeys riding a capybara. A bunch of monkeys riding a capybara!
Want to see a 1982 stop-motion short film written, designed and directed by Tim Burton and Rick Heinrichs? You do? Well, you're in luck: Vincent!
Are you 60 or older and identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual (or meet your primary intimacy needs with same sex relationships)? If so, then you are invited to participate in a study of sexual minority identity in individuals who are 60 and older.
Kirk Cameron told Liberty University students last week that he was drug out to the public square and stoned and crucified for his bigoted views. Hey, Kirk, you know who was, quite literally, stoned and crucified? Matthew Shepard.
Republican Roger Rivard has proven himself a creepy little dipshit by saying "some girls rape easy".
Note: Veep candidate Paul Ryan held a fundraiser for Rivard recently. Of course.
The city council of North Miami Beach has voted unanimously to grandfather in nude dancing for Swinging Richard's in exchange for the gay club dropping its lawsuit against the city.
Because when I think sexy, I think James Patterson.
Daily Dose of Cute
If you ever stumble across Dudley lying on a couch making this precise expression (which you definitely will; it's only a matter of time), the proper response, just so you know, is to say: "WHO'S SUCH A BOO BOOS?! LORD DUDLINGTON, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST BOO BOO HEAD IN ALL THE LAND!" in a very dramatic deep baby voice, until he rolls onto his back with his legs in the air and makes a very silly face at you with his tongue lolling out.
Then, just to be safe, you should probably give him ALL THE TREATS followed by ALL THE SNUGGLES. All of them!
Shaker Help Request
Shaker JMegan emails, which I am posting with her permission: "I'm wondering if there are any good tv shows for preschoolers, (4-6 years old or so), that regularly pass the Bechdel test. The only one I can think of is the Backyardigans, which I love, but there has to be more out there. I hope there is, anyway..."
So, Shakers: What do you recommend?
Image of the Day
I am frequently in awe of Michelle Obama's integrity, intelligence, and humor, which she wields so brilliantly against the racist, sexist hate that gets hurled at her every day. I also like the classic Wonder Woman, who so frequently reminded readers that inside every woman there is super-heroic potential. So I really LOVE seeing it all come together in this comic-style drawing of M. Obama by J. Bone! Via The Grio , where you'll also find a neat interview with the artist.
Happy International Day of the Girl!
Today is also the inaugural International Day of the Girl! The United Nations International Day of the Girl was established after a successful campaign "led in the US by School Girls Unite, an organization of students and young women leaders determined to advance the UN Millennium Development Goals related to gender equality and universal basic education, and other human rights issues. [Their] mission mirrors the United Nations General Assembly Resolution on the International Day of the Girl Child, approved on December 19, 2011: To help galvanize worldwide enthusiasm for goals to better girls' lives, providing an opportunity for them to show leadership and reach their full potential."
This year's theme is ending child marriage around the globe, which is a perfect and terrible theme on which to launch the International Day of the Girl, because child marriage is the intersection of so many issues affecting girl children: The devaluing of female children, poverty, lack of educational opportunities, hostility to female agency, sexual violence, emotional abuse, lack of control of reproduction, cyclical devaluing of female children that underlies female infanticide and child marriage... All of these are inextricably wrapped up in child marriage, but this is a cycle that can be stopped.
Shummi, a Bangladeshi girl, in voiceover (with translation) over video of congregated young Bangladeshi girls and adult women: My name is Shumi. I am 11 years old. [text onscreen: Shumi, EKATA Group Member; she appears onscreen] My father wanted to arrange my marriage, but I did not agree to the proposal.Child marriage is not an immutable fact. It is a preventable social convention. Girls need champions. This is day to recruit those champions.
An unidentified Bangladeshi woman, in voiceover (with translation): Shumi told us her father was arranging her marriage. [text onscreen: EKATA Group Leader; she appears onscreen] Shumi asked us to go talk to her father and make him understand. [over video of women walking out of meeting space] As a result, we approached members of the local government, and other EKATA members, and we went to see Shumi's father together.
Rajendranath, a Bangladeshi man, onscreen, beside his meager home: The EKATA groups came and spoke to me. [text onscreen: Rajendranath, Shumi's Father] They said my daughter was too young for marriage. After a discussion, we agreed. [over video of Shumi walking with friends] We will now wait to marry Shumi when she comes of age.
Shumi, back with the congregated group again: I am very happy that my father has stopped this marriage. I want to be self-dependent; I do not want to marry until I am 18 years old.
EKATA Group Leader: We are all united to stop child marriage!
Whole Group, with arms in air: We are all united to stop child marriage!
Text Onscreen: International Day of the Girl: October 11, 2012. Just $49 can send a girl to school for a year, which will greatly decrease her chances of becoming a child bride. Donate now. Care.org.
There are some great events and teaspooning opportunities today. I recommend signing this petition at Pathfinder and getting involved in one of many ways at Care.
Please feel welcome and encouraged to leave related links and suggestions for additional teaspooning opportunities in comments. Follow the hashtag #internationaldayofthegirl for more.
Happy National Coming Out Day!
Today is the 25th (!) annual National Coming Out Day! Twenty-five years ago today, half a million people marched on Washington for LGBT equality and Coming Out Day was born.
A lot has changed since then. And a lot hasn't. But what has changed, and what will change, is due to the brave men, women, and genderqueer folks who come out because they expect more than a closet. As long as we live in a deeply heterocentrist culture that privileges straightness, coming out will remain a radical act—and anyone who comes out is an activist and an advocate, sheerly by virtue of their public existence, because straight/cis people who know out members of the queer community are exponentially more likely to be political allies.
The privileging of straightness also means that coming out is not a single day in a life, but a never-ending process of assessing one's safety and balancing it against the need for disclosure. Coming out to family, coming out to old friends, coming out to new friends, coming out at school, coming out at every new job... A series of comings out necessitated by a culture that reflexively assigns straightness until an individual demands to be recognized otherwise, a culture that arbitrarily and unnecessarily attaches meaning, and difference, to sexual orientation.
There yet remain many places in the world, including lots of parts of the US, in which queer people do not feel safe coming out. As we mark Coming Out Day in this space, let us remember those people who have not come out for reasons of personal safety, or religious oppression, or out of a profound fear of familial or community rejection.
And let us celebrate coming out, and the people who build spaces where coming out and being out is safe.
I invite you to share your coming out stories here, as a road-map to the people who are beginning that journey, and an invitation to the party that awaits them when they arrive.
Question of the Day
Fisher v. University of Texas Open Thread
Some recommended reading on the affirmative action case before the Supreme Court:
FMF News: SCOTUS Hears Affirmative Action Case
Elle: Quick Thoughts on Fisher v. UT
Jessica: Fisher v. University of Texas, Part One
And: Fisher v. University of Texas, Part Two
I don't have a hell of a lot to say beyond what I tweeted earlier:
Dear Fellow White Ladies: We have benefited mightily from affirmative action, just FYI. THE MORE YOU KNOW.
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) October 10, 2012
And, not for nothing, even if I didn't stand to personally benefit from affirmative action policies, I would STILL SUPPORT THEM.
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) October 10, 2012
As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to leave links to good stuff you've been reading on the case in comments.
An Open Letter to The Onion
[Content Note: Transphobia.]
You owe people an apology.
Earlier this week you published a satirical story about Mark Wahlberg being a trans woman. The joke, as it were, is that trans people are trans.
Yaaaaaaaawn.
I’m a huge fucking smartass, and a longtime Onion reader. I totally get that satire involves risks. I also get that satirists miss the mark a lot of the time. Y’all miss the mark a lot. That’s not surprising, given how much content The Onion's writers churn out. It’s also something a lot of your readers tolerate, because OMFG WHEN YOU HIT THE MARK.
But bloody hell, “trans person trans” isn’t funny (see also: “fat person fat”). It’s lazy. It’s been done (TRUST ME). It’s hurtful. It perpetuates hate and violence. Etcetra.
Look, it’s not that trans people aren’t funny. I know so many hilarious trans people who can write satire about transness that would make y’all laugh your tits and/or wangs off. A lot of us could use the cash. CALL US.
In the meantime, do the grown up thing and apologize.
Crossposted from A Cunt of One's Own
Photo of the Day
[Click to embiggen.]
President Obama shares a private moment with a constituent while campaigning in Cleveland, Ohio, on October 5. Beautiful. Photograph by Scout Tufankjian for Obama for America.
Big News, Everyone!
This is the actual cover of the current issue of Newsweek yes for real no I am not kidding good grief:
Oh, well, if a DOCTOR said it. Never mind then. Must be true.
[H/T to Mannion, who is definitely going to hell.]
"This is the man from whom we're supposed to take lectures about sexism."
Here is a video sent to me by everyone in the multiverse (and thanks to each and every one of you!) of Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard giving a passionate speech to Parliament calling out opposition leader Tony Abbott's hypocrisy on misogyny. It's pretty amazing.
Some background on the events leading up to this speech is here. Kath also has some additional thoughts about the context of Gillard's words here.
[Transcript here.]
Wednesday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by carousels.
Recommended Reading:
Brentin: Voting Rights Act Protects Two More States from Voter ID Laws
Soraya: 'Boys Will Be Boys' Is No Excuse For Bad Behavior [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of bullying; rape culture; gender essentialism.]
Jessie: "You're a Mutt": Racial Policing Practices [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism and police misconduct.]
Jazmine: Saving the Boobies Will Not Save Me [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism, objectification, and abuse.]
Sean: Bias, Bias Everywhere [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of misogynist and racist bias in academia.]
Zach: Transgender Narratives: "I Always Knew"
Andy: Obama Administration Issues Written Guidance to Immigration Officials Regarding Same-Sex Relationships
Echidne: The Polling Games!
Cuppycake: World of Warcraft: Rescuing Mina Mudclaw from a Rape Joke [Content Note: Rape culture.]
Zack: Kirk Cameron Claims Crucifixion for His Anti-Gay 'Love Speech' [Content Note: Homophobia.]
Spooky: Russian Artist Irina Parosova Creates Amazing Straw Paintings
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Chat Shows. Daytime (Oprah) or evening (Jimmy Fallon); old school/cancelled (Phil Donahue) or current (Ellen). Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Daily Dose of Cute
[Audio Description: Silent movie type instrumental, suggesting wacky hijinks.]
To be continued...!
Random Nerd Nostalgia: She's All Girl... She's All Super!
[Image Description: a comic book cover headed by "She's all Girl...She's All Super..She's SUPERGIRL! See Supergirl do her thing in this GIGANTIC Action-Packed Issue!!" The cover is of Action Comics, priced at 25C (!!!) with Supergirl bursting out of the middle of the comic, surrounded by images from various other stories, featuring the Legion of Super-Heroes, super-pets, Superman, the Superman Emergency Squad, and Mr. MXYZPTLK.]
Scanned from Wonder Woman 181, March 1969.
Quote of the Day
"I think it's fair to say I was just too polite."—President Barack Obama, on his performance during the first debate.
One of the best things about President Obama is that he affords people good faith.
One of the worst things about President Obama is that he continues to afford people good faith even long after they have demonstrably proven they are no longer deserving of it.
Part of that is rooted in a fantasy about changing the tone in Washington through sheer force of will, a notion which members of the administration have admitted was arrogant and naïve, but to which they lingeringly subscribe nonetheless. The President has incentive not to let that fantasy go: He was carried to the steps of the White House on the shoulders of the people who believed he could do it. To abandon that fantasy is to let them down, and to admit he was wrong.
Part of that is the reality that Obama can't express himself in quite the same way as a white president could, thanks to racist narratives about Angry Black Men. He can't let naked fury cross his face without a cost—although I suspect, given the nature of protest against this president, it would ultimately be no bigger cost than simply being a man of color in the first place.
Part of that is just something in Obama's constitution: He wants consensus, even when it is manifestly obvious that it's never going to happen. One of the ways in which President Obama most infuriates me (and always has) is his refusal to hold Republicans/conservatives accountable, and his insistence on drawing equivalencies, while fetishizing bipartisanship as inherently superior to any solution even distantly associated with a partisan ideology.
And part of it is that Obama is just a decent man who wants to believe that he people with whom he's trying to run the country are decent people, too. When he says that he believes Republicans are good people who love their country and just have different ideas about what's best for it, I think he really believes that shit. (Or used to.)
The President has good reason not to let that fantasy go, either: The fact that a lot of Republicans are plutocrats who genuinely don't prioritize this nation or the needs of its people is terrible and terrifying and super grim.
No one wants to look that shit in the face, least of all someone who really does love this nation and carries some measure of personal responsibility for keeping it out of the other guys' hands.
I hope that President Obama, if he wins reelection, makes it his highest priority to be profoundly impolite.
Fifty Shades of Goldberg: 10. DISSENT
[Content note: violence]
“This seems so odd to normal Americans” – Jonah Goldberg commenting on the likes of you
Chapter Ten is about dissent, so it makes sense that the first mention of Nazis is on page three. Congrats to those of you who have page three on your fantasy teams!
Goldberg is pissed off because Thomas Jefferson didn’t say “dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” Also, you should really “bear in mind that even if Jefferson had said it, it would be no less dumb.”
LOL UR STOOPID!
Speaking of LOL STOOPID, words are bullshit:
[“Dissent” is] a word that often elevates buffoonery on its own. But when it’s tethered to patriotism it transmogrifies the lead of jackassery into the gold of stouthearted rebellion.Totally, it’s like…
The reflexive contrarian who cares not what he’s contradicting is quite simply the most useless of citizens and annoying of coworkers.It’s almost as if Goldberg is accusing dissenters of playing some sort of disingenuous game. It’s also almost as if Goldberg is doing a bait-and-switch, ignoring the unstated implication that we’re talking about “principled” dissent. Funny, that.
Speaking of fun games:
Just curious: If a marine throws himself on a grenade while fighting for his country, would you feel confident that you’d keep your teeth if you said something along the lines of, “Wow. What a hero. A true patriot. He’s almost as patriotic as that college professor who, from the comfort of his air-conditioned office, called the Marines baby killers and war criminals.I’m just curious what Goldberg means by “you’d keep your teeth.” (Just kidding. He means that some asshole will likely assault y’all if you criticize the military. Go back to Red Russia, jerks!)
Fact Check: Criticizing the actions of the United States Department of Defense is the same thing as disrespecting the actions of an individual person. Governments and corporations and people are all the same thing. Well, except that the government is the anti-Christ.
Speaking of corporations…
Some of the chanting Occupy Wall Street protesters out there recycling their urine and filming gay porn movies in tents might also be interested in helping America, but many are simply motivated by an apish desire to join the crowd or a ritualistic yearning to take a sledgehammer to the foundation of a country they just happened to be born in.If you haven’t seen the golden parachute scene in Stearn Bears, you haven’t truly lived.
Tents. Titter. Heh.
With the overtly homophobic section behind us (for now), it’s time to hear from Dr. Jonah, relationship counselor!
I am not saying that all liberals do not love America. What I am saying is that they are hopelessly confused about how to think about and, therefore express their love of her.HEY PUSSIES, WHY DON'T YOU TREAT YOUR NATION LIKE THE LADY SHE IS?
Put a ring on that nation, is all I’m saying.
Why do dudes insist on giving boats and countries feminine genders? Is it homophobia? "LOL dude UR so gay for ur schooner!" When I think of America's gender, the only thing that comes to mind is Tom Cruise's character from Magnolia.
Anywho... love, how the fuck does it work?
At the most basic level love is about acceptance. If you are constantly trying to chane the person you claim to love into someone he or she is not, there comes a point when it’s reasonable to ask whether you really, truly, deeply live the person for who he or she is. Barack Obama campaigned promising to “fundamentally transform” America. We would not think a husband who promises to “fundamentally transform” his wife has a healthy love for her.Do you hear that, liberals? Citizenship is the same as marriage, and no-fault divorce is immoral. Also, collecting taxes is the equivalent of divorce. Oh, and you’re totally married to Sears Roebuck and other companies, so don’t even think of about your refrigerator.
Also: WOW.
In conclusion, normal Americans rule, whilst liberals drool.
In The News
[Content note: homophobia, racism, terrorism, reproductive coercion]
All The News In Fits and Spurts:
Katerina Samutsevich of Russian punk band Pussy Riot is being set free on appeal today.
An oil company study has found that fracking would be perfectly safe in the predominantly black neighbourhood of Baldwin Hills.
Saint Paul and Minneapolis Archbishop John Nienstedt told the mother of a gay son that she should reject him or risk burning in hell. Just like Jesus would do!
The State Departments top security official in Libya asked for extra security for the consulate in Benghazi prior to it being attacked but received no response from superiors.
Good grief: A big screen adaptation of Peanuts is in the works. In 3D obviously.
Toyota announced a global recall of 7.43 million cars due to a power window problem that poses a fire risk. (I find it odd that recall news is always reported in the financial section of news sites. Because what is really important is how it effects stock prices.)
Alex Karras, known best to Gen-Xers as adoptive father George Papadopoulos to Emmanuel Lewis on Webster, died yesterday of kidney failure. He was 77.
Anti-choice Republican congressman Scott DesJarlais of Tennessee pressured his mistress into getting an abortion. Of course he did.
A ground squirrel in California has tested positive for exposure to fleas infected with the bacteria that can cause the plague. Good lord. What century is this?
Resort CEO David Siegel sent an e-mail to his 7,000 employees warning them their jobs are at risk if the president is re-elected. If he has to pay more taxes he's going to fire a bunch of people.
Want to watch Frankenweenie? Sure you do.
How Obama Wins the Election
Women are going to decide this election.
Whether it's the oft-mentioned "white women without college degrees" or the never-mentioned "women who feel like neither party gives a flying shit about their needs," women are going to be the ones who make the call.
Most of these women, even if they have traditionally voted Republican, support reproductive freedom. They might support abortion with caveats, or support contraception but not emergency contraception, but most of them want women to have access to some contraceptive method(s) and access to safe, legal abortion.
One of the gravest mistakes the modern Democratic Party makes is assuming that pro-choice women (even marginally pro-choice women) regard the Democrats' national candidates as reliable allies on reproductive rights.
The reality is that, with Democrats in many state governments staking out anti-choice positions, or merely failing to even try to robustly defend reproductive rights from Republican legislatures, and with a Democratic President who has failed to call out anti-choice terrorism, failed to give reproductive rights a single whole sentence in his nomination acceptance speech, failed to give an address centering reproductive rights during his first term even as record numbers of anti-choice legislation were being passed in state legislatures, failed to give even a passing mention to reproductive rights in his "Women's Equality Day" proclamation, failed to give even a passing mention to reproductive rights in his "Women's History Month" proclamation, failed to acknowledge the war on agency in his State of the Union address, failed to prioritize science over religion, failed to prioritize healthcare over religion, and failed to be generally clueful on the issue of reproductive rights, lots of women across this country feel as though they have been completely abandoned by both parties on the issue of their reproductive health.
The Democrats have calculated that if they simply don't mention abortion, they won't alienate anti-choice voters (who, argh, will never vote for them, anyway), but instead they have communicated to women across this country that the issue is off the table.
A foolish, terrible calculation.
The Democrats' silence on reproductive rights does not treat it like the marked party distinction it is; it treats it like an issue they don't even think is worth talking about.
As a result, the best way for President Obama to secure his reelection is to have NASA build him a time machine so he can go back and make reproductive rights a central part of his first term and his reelection campaign.
But, failing that, here's how he wins the election:
1. This Thursday, Vice President Joe Biden will be debating Rep. Paul Ryan, who is profoundly anti-choice and wants to redefine rape. Here's a Fun Fact about Joe Biden: HE DRAFTED THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT AND HAS BEEN ITS MOST FERVENT CHAMPION! Meanwhile, Romney/Ryan's party has held up the reauthorization of the VAWA for nearly a year because they prioritize homophobia, transphobia, and hatred of undocumented workers over protecting people from stalking, sexual violence, and/or domestic violence. JOE BIDEN NEEDS TO SAY THIS 100 TIMES DURING THAT DEBATE.
2. During the next presidential debate, which is a garbage town hall format on both foreign and domestic policy, President Obama needs to talk about reproductive rights EVERY CHANCE HE GETS. Sure, mention the Lilly Ledbetter Act and USE FEMALE PRONOUNS when talking about the hypothetical worker who needs a job with a livable wage to put food on her family, but TALK ABOUT THE WAR ON AGENCY. The President needs to say, point blank, that women are 52% of the population, and say he trusts them to make their own decisions about their own bodies, and say MITT ROMNEY DOESN'T AGREE. Say: MITT ROMNEY SAYS HE WANTS THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF OUR LIVES, BUT WANTS TO INSERT THE GOVERNMENT IN WOMEN'S PERSONAL HEALTHCARE DECISIONS. Saaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy thaaaaaaaaaaaaat, pleeeeeeeeeeese!
3. During the final debate, on foreign policy, work in a way to quote Secretary of State Hillary Clinton—"human rights are women's rights and women's rights are human rights"—and then promise to push for ratification of the UN Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women, which has languished in the US Senate since its adoption in 1979.
What I'm saying is: TALK TO WOMEN. Directly and meaningfully. Mean it.
Mean it.
The Old Switcheroo
Yesterday afternoon, Mitt Romney met with The Des Moines Register's editorial board, and, during the course of that interview, he said, if elected president, he would reinstate the global gag rule but that he did not envision any specific abortion legislation being part of his agenda.
Mitt Romney today said no abortion legislation is part of his agenda, but he would prohibit federally-funded international nonprofits from providing abortions in other countries.WELL, GEE, THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD!—Low-Information Voters.
"There's no legislation with regards to abortion that I'm familiar with that would become part of my agenda," the GOP presidential candidate told The Des Moines Register's editorial board during a meeting today before his campaign rally at a Van Meter farm.
But by executive order, not by legislation, he would reinstate the so-called Mexico City policy that bans U.S. foreign aid dollars from being used to do abortions, he said.
Later, Romney spokesperson Andrea Saul clarified for the AP:
"Gov. Romney would of course support legislation aimed at providing greater protections for life," spokeswoman Andrea Saul said, declining to elaborate.HEY, WAIT A SECOND!—Low-Information Voters.
Ha ha just kidding. Low-Information Voters aren't even paying attention to this story anymore!
This is the game that Mitt Romney is playing: Moderate to get the big headlines; conservative clarifications to reassure his base he's still the man of their dreams (and our nightmares).
His strategy is to be an extraordinarily brazen liar. Meanwhile, his running mate is sent out to complain that the Democrats are calling them liars.
SHOCKING!
Currently on the front page of CNN:
I'm not sure why we're supposed to be "shocked" that Danny DeVito's and Rhea Perlman's marriage has ended. I mean, intellectually, I understand it's because they were together for 40 years, and because we collectively subscribe to forever fantasies that elide unromantic realities like human beings change. Or don't, when they need to.
And I also get that our exhibitionist-voyeuristic, celebrity-obsessed, no-boundaries garbage culture conspires to make us feel like we know something intimate about the relationships of famous people, and I get that we believe in increasingly cacophonous invitations to insert ourselves into other people's private lives even when it's not those people themselves doing the inviting.
Still.
We should tell those narratives to fuck off and stop being shocked!
The truth of a marriage lies between two people alone (or any long-term partnership, between whatever number of people)—and parts of what holds it together, or tears it apart, reside secretly in individual hearts, bindings or fissures that are unknowable, or indescribable, even to the person in whom they reside.
No one knows everything about any relationship, even the people in them. Which is what makes loving another person terrifying, and what makes it exhilarating.
And also makes other people's relationships none of our business.
My best to Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, and may they find whatever they need.
Get to Know a Contributor!
True Fact: Deeky W. Gashlycrumb's favorite street magician is David Blaine! If ever you see Deeky on the street, don't approach him! He may be practicing how to levitate!
From the Telegraph's Pictures of the Day for 8 October 2012: David Blaine stands under lighting bolts at the start of his latest performance, "Electrified", in New York. [Emmanuel Dunand/AFP/GettyImages]
Quote of the Day
"I don't know if you guys saw the debate last week. I take a lot of pride in that, because—I don't know if you noticed, but I was—me and my brothers were responsible for my dad doing so well. We were the ones, as kids, that kept saying the same thing over and over. And we'd say the same lie over and over. And my dad learned then, not to believe it. While we didn't go to any of the formal debate preparation, we did the real hard stuff. So, as a father, he learned how to debate an obstinate child. We had a lot of fun, we had a lot of fun watching the debate."—Josh Romney, one of Mitt Romney's five sons, bragging about being a liar (just like Pop said!) and calling the President of the United States of America "an obstinate child."
Neat family.
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Song Lyricists. Go!
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Let's Talk About the Steel Magnolias Remake!
As soon as Lifetime announced that it was remaking Steel Magnolias with an all African-American cast, one billion obnoxious blog posts asking "What's the point?!" were written. (I refuse to link to them! You can Google them! If you are so inclined!) Ha ha sure. What's the point? Once white people have done something, there's no point to anyone else doing it! Words for racists to live by.
I was very excited about it! Because I love Steel Magnolias, not so much for the story centered around the tragic Shelby, but because the characters are sort of great and they have something lovely to say about female friendship and they are gifts to great character actresses who are not in their 20s. And so many great actresses were attached to the remake! Phylicia Rashad and Alfre Woodard as Claree and Ouiser—YES PLEASE!
And they were all very good! The remake was not as good as the original, owing to the disparate budgets of a feature film and a television movie, a disparity which was reflected in fewer locations (e.g. the voice-overed ending with black and white stills vs. a big outdoor Easter party), and lesser-known actors cast as Drum and Jackson, who faded into the background even more than Tom Skerritt (though as equally as Dylan McDermott, virtually unknown in 1989).
But it was still solid, and I really enjoyed it. I particularly loved Rashad and Woodard, and I adored Condola Rashad (Shelby), who I'd not previously seen in anything else. I will never not cry at M'Lynn wondering how Jack Jr. will ever know how wonderful his mother was, and I will never not laugh at Ouiser snorting: "My secret's out—I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz!"
And I was not alone in my enjoyment! Steel Magnolias "delivered an average of 6.5 million total viewers in its premiere, according to Nielsen," making it #3 "on Lifetime's all-time most-watched list."
I complain bitterly about the entertainment industry lazily remaking everything under the sun, but, as long as remakes are de rigueur, this is the way to do them: Remake them with a purpose. Give proven material to a reimaigined set of actors, thus potentially introducing the material and the actors to new audiences.
Did you watch it? What did you think?
Daily Dose of Cute
There once was a dog named Zelly,
Who melted hearts into jelly
With a wee piggy nose
And ears of Doritos
And the world's most nommable belly.
Number of the Day
20%: The number of USians who now "say they are not part of a traditional religious denomination," according to new data from the Pew Research Center.
Not all of that 20% is godless. Some are atheist; some are agnostic; some are god-believers or spiritualists who are unaffiliated with organized religion; etc.
Younger USians are even more irreligious: One-third of adults under 30 say they are they are atheist, agnostic, or "nothing in particular."
In The News
[Content note: rape, homophobia, racism, police harrassment, violence]
All The News In Fits and Spurts:
Convicted child rapist Jerry Sandusky has been sentenced to not less than 30 years and no more than 60 years in prison with credit for time served.
Paul Ryan goes Galt: The veep contender walked out of an interview yesterday when asked how lowering taxes would solve gun violence in U.S. Also, Paul Ryan is kind of a racist.
Charlie Fuqua, Republican candidate for the Arkansas House of Representatives, believes we need to enact the death penalty for rebellious children. Really. He said that. Good christ.
Sriracha is the new bacon. See: Sriracha ice cream sandwiches.
This narwhal is all that stands between us and penguin world domination!
When Mitt Romney was a college freshman, he told fellow residents of his Stanford University dormitory that he sometimes disguised himself as a police officer. "He told us that he was using it to pull over drivers on the road. He also had a red flashing light that he would attach to the top of his white Rambler." What a creep.
The antigay Liberty Counsel filed a civil rights lawsuit on Thursday against California's recently passed law banning "reparative therapy" that attempts to turn gay children straight. Of course they did.
Still with this bullshit? Michigan state representative Tom McMillin says that being gay is a choice.
The swimming trunks Daniel Craig wore as Bond in Casino Royale sold for close to $72K at a charity auction in London. Obviously.
What happens when you add Schaefer Beer to a Moog Synthesizer? You get an awesome commercial!
By the Way...
Republican presidential candidate and current leader in the national polls OMG Mitt Romney gave a much ballyhooed foreign policy address yesterday. It was garbage.
I Write Letters
Dear Sanctity of Marriage Folks:
Because voters in Maryland, Minnesota, Maine, and Washington will be voting on marriage equality-related ballot initiatives this November, I'm seeing and hearing a lot of your tiresome "sanctity of marriage" nonsense again.
And while I realize it's a largely futile effort to appeal to whatever infinitesimal traces of reason and decency you may yet have buried beneath the metic fuckton of desperate insecurity about your super-special relationships losing the shimmering, golden glow that only denying equality to same-sex couples conveys upon your gloriously gilded unions, I'm nonetheless going to give it yet another shot.
You and I have talked plenty of times before about this issue, and we've gone over how marriage equality won't force you to get same-sex married, and how more inclusive marriage actually enhances the institution (at least from my perspective), and how hypocritical it is that you want to prevent same-sex couples from getting married while retaining your own right of divorce, and how losing privilege isn't the same as losing rights, and how rights aren't a zero-sum game, and how extending basic equality doesn't actually harm you and in fact is the decent and democratic thing to do, and how religious supremacy stinks, and other things, too.
I've also mentioned in the past how I don't like my marriage being appropriated by your "hetero marriage is the only and best marriage!" arguments. And that's because my marriage isn't sacred—and I want the right to define it that way. You want religious freedom, and I want freedom from religion, and I explicitly do not view my marriage as sacred.
God has fuck-all to do with my marriage.
Religion has fuck-all to do with my marriage.
In fact, none of the things that are associated with sanctified marriage have anything to do with my marriage.
Our marriage is a contract taken out in a courthouse between two atheists, one of whom was divorced, neither of whom were virgins, both of whom are intent on not procreating, and each of whom made a commitment contingent on continued happiness and fulfillment, not on some terrible belief that ending a dysfunctional relationship is a failure while grimly sticking it out for "eternity" is a success.
We are not interested in a consecrated union. We are not delighted by the idea we were ordained to be together. We have no need of the weight of eternity on the foundations of our partnership.
We want the choice to be together, so that we may choose every day whether to be together.
There's nothing sacred about my marriage—and I like it that way, thank you very much. It is earthly and profane and eminently human by design. And by virtue of the two people who comprise it.
And the blanket assertion that marriage—any marriage, my marriage—is sacred, as long as it's between one man and one woman, undermines my ability to define my marriage outside of your religion.
You are the ones trying to redefine marriage. My marriage isn't yours to redefine.
And it sure as shit isn't yours to appropriate, to subsume into the sanctified marriage borg, in order to deny access to someone else.
Knock it off.
Contemptuously,
Liss
Great Campaign Ad, or Greatest Campaign Ad?
As you may recall, during last week's debate, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney said that one of his plans to reduce the federal deficit while simultaneously cutting trillions of dollars in taxes was to cut funding to public television: "I'm sorry, Jim, I'm going to stop the subsidy to PBS.... I like PBS, I love Big Bird—I actually like you, too—but I'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for." Never mind that PBS' entire federal subsidy is equal to six hours of defense spending.
Anyway! The Obama campaign is out with a new ad, invoking this now-famous moment in the debate, and it's pretty damn amusing.
Obama in voiceover, over image of him campaigning: I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message.Well played, Team Obama. Well played.
Male voiceover, of an ominous quality generally used in scary movie trailers or campaign adverts about how terrible one's opponent is, over correlating imagery: Bernie Madoff. Ken Lay. Dennis Kozlowski. Criminals. Gluttons of greed. And the evil genius who towered over them? [silhouette of Big Bird through the window of a corporate tower] One man has the guts to speak his name.
Mitt Romney at debate: Big Bird.
Mitt Romney at a campaign appearance at a deli: Big Bird.
Mitt Romney at another campaign appearance: Big Bird.
Big Bird: It's me—Big Bird!
Voiceover, over footage of Big Bird: Big. Yellow. A menace to our economy. Mitt Romney knows it's not Wall Street [Wall St. streetsign] you have to worry about—it's Sesame Street! [Sesame St. streetsign]
Mitt Romney at debate: I'm gonna stop the subsidy to PBS.
Voiceover, over image of Big Bird sleeping in his nest: Mitt Romney—taking on our enemies no matter where they nest.
An Observation
An excellent observation, in fact, made my Shaker GoldFishy to me via text earlier today, and shared with his permission:
It is just me or are the news media treating "fact-checking" like a cool new gimmick instead of something they should be doing all the time? Srsly.He is so, so right. And by couching stories assessing the debate, for example, as "fact-checking," the media is also resisting holding candidates personally accountable for strategic dishonesty. It's an oblique, and passive-aggressive, way of calling out lies, in a way that reinforces the cynical narrative that "all politicians lie, anyway," thus tacitly discouraging the idea we have a right to expect more.
Elementary
Does anyone else want to talk about Elementary? Let's talk about Elementary!
The newest iteration of the Sherlock Holmes franchise, starring Lucy Liu as Watson and Jonny Lee Miller as Holmes, has aired two episodes so far, and I liked them a lot!
Now, I would pay to watch Lucy Liu read the
And I bet you will be AMAZED to hear that the world did not SPIN OFF ITS VERY AXIS, nor have there been any reported plagues of locusts, nor did my head EXPLODE AT THE SIGHT of an Asian American woman playing a character that is WHITE and MALE in CANON!
(Note: I'm pretty sure the same results would have occurred if Liu had been cast as Sherlock. Gasp, etc. To the fainting couches.)
Iain, who is a huge Sherlock fan and also British so thus EXTRA CREDIBLE lulz, also really likes it. As we excitedly watched both episodes back-to-back, snuggled up under a big comforter, he declared that he likes it even more than the Benedict Cumberbatch-Martin Freeman version. I said, "We like it so much it's sure to be canceled instantly!"
SO LET'S ENJOY IT WHILE WE CAN!
I Play Bingo: Archbishop Poopypants Edition
[Content note: This post contains reference to anti-gay bigotry and fearmongering, as well as appropriative Holocaust references.]
Former Archbishop of Canterbury Lord Carey (aka "Lord Player") is at it again:
The former archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Carey, has accused David Cameron of "plundering" the institution of heterosexual marriage to promote same-sex marriage rights. Allowing gay marriage would cause deep divisions in society "without giving gays a single right they do not have in civil partnership", he said....CALLING NAMES! Yes, that was definitely the problem in Nazi Germany. And that was definitely when anti-Semitism started. Or, uhm, something.
Carey claimed that in some countries where same-sex marriage had been made legal – including Mexico, Brazil and the Netherlands – it had led to unforeseen consequences such as three-person marriages.
Asked about opponents of gay marriage being described as "bigots" – on one occasion by Nick Clegg, the deputy prime minister – Carey said: "Let us remember the Jews in Nazi Germany. What started against them was when they started to be called names."
*sigh*
I have tried, previously, in this space, to explain to him politely, if snarkily why his remarks are absolutely bullying and heinous--and why, as the former symbolic head of the Anglican Communion, his words are influential, and dangerously so, with the power to bolster those who would use his vision of Anglicanism to persecute LGBTQ* folk.
Mysteriously, he does not seem persuaded by my overtures. Could it be that he does not read Shakesville? INCONCEIVABLE!
So, since appeals to his human decency and Christian charity don't seem to be working, let me put it in terms His Grace might actually care about.
You, sir, look like a jackass.
Your latest screed isn't even worthy of analysis, but it might make a fair Special Edition Archbishop Particularly Poopants Primate Bingo card. Mark off a space for....
*Unsubstantiated claims that legalizing same-sex marriage will "plunder" opposite sex marriage!
*Claiming that marriage won't give any rights civil partnership doesn't! Because the fucking right to marry clearly doesn't count!
(That square comes with a special bonus in Lord Player Particularly Poopyants Primate Bingo, since he spent a great deal of energy lobbying for the Prince of Wales' right to... wait for it... marry!)
*Bizarre claims about countries where same-sex marriage is legal! Because no one can use teh Google to find out if you are full of shit.
*POLGAMY OMG! OMG!
*Completely un-ironic invocation of Nazi Germany. Because it is so totally cool to appropriate the persecution of Jews to make claims about gay people, who were also persecuted by Nazis. Cool! Very cool, Lord Player! (Hint: it is not actually cool.)
*Also, same-sex marriage = JUST LIKE THE REICHSTAG FIRE! As recorded by that well-known historian, Professor Poopypants Primate, (retired).
...and BINGO! I have won a prize! Okay, so it's a deluxe set of sherry bottles shaped like C.S. Lewis' head, but it is still a PRIZE.
And all that was in just one article. Unreal. Lord Player, I think it's official. You need a nap.
Quote of the Day
"The death penalty? Give me a break. It's easy. Abortion? Absolutely easy. Nobody ever thought the Constitution prevented restrictions on abortion. Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years, it was criminal in every state."—Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, on how being a "textualist" interpreter of the Constitution makes "some of the most hotly disputed issues that come before the Supreme Court among the easiest to resolve" for him.
Sure. Sure it does.
What a d-bag.
[Via.]
Today in Garbage Disasters
Shaker Checarina emailed this photo along with the query: "D'you think these trash bags can protect us from a Romney/Ryan administration?"
HA HA I HOPE SO! Can they help protect us from GARBAGE NIGHTMARES as well as GARBAGE DISASTERS, or do we need some sort of extra-strength yard bag for that?
(Those look a lot like the special preservation receptacles in which I store Deeky's Garbage Treasures, btw.)
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by sunshine.
Recommended Reading:
Aura: Another Voting Rights Victory, This Time in Ohio
Pema: Romney Advisers: Romney Will Return to Foreign Policy of Truman and Reagan (So atomic warfare and/or the constant thread of mutually assured destruction? PERFECT.)
Ed: What It Always Was
Dayvoe: New Yorker Cover
Sarah: Why I Celebrate Indigenous People's Day (Not Columbus Day) [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of colonialism and associated violence.]
Reni: A Problem That Stubbornly Refuses to Budge [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism.]
Sayantani: 'Your Women Are Oppressed, But Ours Are Awesome': How Nicholas Kristof and Half the Sky Use Women Against Each Other [Content Note: The post at this link includes discussion of racism, appropriation, Western supremacy, and violence against women.]
Kevin: Texan Eleanor Fairchild Arrested for "Trespassing" as Her Own Land Is Seized for TransCanada Tar Sands Pipeline; Actress Daryl Hannah Also Arrested
Lauren: Hope Larson's A Wrinkle in Time Comic Is a Love Letter to the Original
Andy: Ohio State Marching Band Performs Tribute to Zelda, Halo, Pokemon, Tetris, Other Video Games [video]
Miss Cellania: Rescuing Watson [Content Note: Evidence of animal injury; major blub warning for happy ending. / video]
Leave your links and recommendations in comments...
Daily Dose of Cute
Lest there be any question about who really rules Shakes Manor, it is Olivia. Exhibit A:
Video Description: Zelda the Black-and-Tan Mutt eats breakfast out of her bowl. At the other bowl, Olivia the Cat is eating, while Dudley the Greyhound stands to one side, forlorn and helpless, looking at Iain and me plaintively. "Dudley, who's eatin' your food?" I ask him. He looks down at Olivia. "Is Olivia eatin' it?" I laugh. Zelda and Dudley look at us. "He's like, 'What the hell?'" I say. He towers over her, staring down at her eating away. "She rules them so hard," I say. "Look at 'em." Dudley stares, fecklessly. "Dudley," I say, and he looks at me. "Just tell her to get lost. Say: 'Don't eat my food!'" His ears twitch. "Say: 'Hey, kitty-cat! Don't eat my food!'" He looks back at her; hovers.
Iain says, "What worries me is I JUST FED HER." (We just had her at the vet; nothing's wrong with her. She's just a little piggy.) "Eh, she just likes their food better," I say, "especially now that we're feeding them the salmon." Iain corrects me: "It's turkey." I reply: "Oh, is it turkey?" Olivia starts to move away from the bowl, and I exclaim, "Oh, she's gone, Dudz! Hurry!" But she just swings around and starts eating it from the other direction. "Go get it!" I tell him. He flicks his ears, looks back at me as if to say, "Can't you SEE that she's STILL HERE?!"
Dudley turns back to the food and hangs his head pathetically. He leans toward Zelda and sniffs at her bowl. I laugh. "It's total confusion," Iain says. I say: "He's like, 'Zelda, can I have some of yours?'" Iain bursts out laughing. I laugh more. Olivia walks away from the bowl and into the kitchen. Dudley immediately sticks his head in the bowl and begins eating. "Oh, finally," I say. "Phew. He might've starved there."
"It's really funny that he did not bully her out of the way," Iain observes. "Nah," I say. "He's too sweet. He's a good boy." Dudley and Zelda eat their breakfast contentedly, side-by-side.
"We have really got to do something about this." "You do something." "No, YOU do it!"
And Exhibit B:
There used to be a beautiful white glass lamp there. Used to be. Then Olivia decided she wanted that space for herself. For a few weeks, we were chasing Livs off the table, and moving the lamp back into place, after she'd pushed it to the edge to make room for herself to sprawl. Eventually, the lamp ended up shattered on the floor. Now there is no lamp and a cat bed where the lamp used to be.
Photo of the Day
What—did you think James Franco wasn't going to undergo the "Abramovic Technique," in which performance artist Marina Abramovic covers his "naked body in gold leaves, transforming him into a living sculpture reminiscent of a deity" for the season opener of Iconoclasts? You're so weird.
That was always definitely going to happen, because the universe conspires to arrange itself in ways that give certain events the uncanny appearance of unavoidable destiny, and we are not meant to question these shimmering moments in the unfathomable experience that is human existence, but instead merely behold them with deserved awe as we breathe in the lessons of magnificent and terrible mortality with which they present us.
Because James fuckin' Franco, man.
(This episode will air tomorrow at 8pm ET on the Sundance Channel.)
In The News
All The News In Fits and Spurts:
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was re-elected Sunday to a new six-year term, overcoming an energetic challenge by a candidate backed by an opposition coalition.
Judy Garland's original costume from The Wizard of Oz could sell for half a million dollars when it hits the auction block next month.
Tom Tomorrow will no longer be available in The Village Voice.
Do you want to call Corey & Corey? I wish this 900 number for Corey Haim and Corey Feldman were still around. I wish Corey Haim were still around.
Hungry Hungry Hippos is being turned into a movie. It will be for kids, which sucks. I was hoping for something more akin to Jaws.
"Some children are gay. So the fuck what?" — Sally Field.
An 11-year-old Russian boy discovered a nearly intact wooly mammoth carcass in Siberia.
Madrid was chosen to host in 2017 the world's largest and most prestigious gay event, World Gay Pride.
In a new PSA, The Undeading, a horde of zombies performs CPR on a hapless victim. Okay then.
Top Five
Here is your topic: Top Five Favorite Love Stories. Go!
Note: "Love story" can mean romantic love, platonic love, familial love, the love between a mentor and protégé, the love between an animal and its human guardian, etc. True love stories, fictional love stories—whatever you want.
Please feel welcome to share stories about why your Top Five picks are what they are, though a straight-up list is fine, too. Please refrain from negatively auditing other people's lists, because judgment discourages participation.
Middle of the Road Mitt
So, since the debate last week, during which Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney lied his face off and "reinvented" himself by running away from virtually every position he'd been espousing for the last two years, I have seen a steady stream of headlines about how Romney positioned himself as "centrist," or a "moderate," or some variation thereof.
"Mitt's Middle of the Road Makeover" is a typical headline, seen at CNN.
The middle of what road? Plutocrat Boulevard? At the intersection of Extremist Throughway?
This is a laughable narrative. Even Romney's so-called reinvention leaves him firmly right of center—a center that has been moved so far right already that a sitting Democratic president will no longer even mention reproductive rights in his convention speech or at the domestic policy debate; a center so far right that waging an extralegal war with drones is considered the reasonable foreign policy position; a center so far right that no one bats an eye when the right-of-center candidate asserts he doesn't believe people are entitled to food.
There is no functional leftwing in United States governance. That doesn't mean Mitt Romney is a centrist.
News from Shakes Manor
This weekend, while Iain and I were watching The Matrix Revolutions...
Me: That's what my life feels like—just an epic battle against an endless army of identical agents of the patriarchy.
Iain: [laughs out loud]
Me: And I don't even have a cool jacket.
Iain: [laughs] Aw, babe. Your jacket's all right.
Open Thread
