This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Content Note: Misogyny; gender essentialism; heterocentrism.]

Normally, I wouldn't even link to the World Net Daily, home of such journalistic luminaries as Chuck Norris and David "The Lesser" Limbaugh, but this is impressively terrible even by the WND's peerless garbage standards:


Actual screencap of actual headline and obviously perfect stock photo.
It's just a super article SORRY TO SPOIL THE SURPRISE OF GREATNESS FOR YOU with terrific stuff like:

Despite your beauty and brilliance, it could be your attitude that's preventing you from finding a husband and keeping him.

And:

Suzanne Venker in her hot new release, How to Choose a Husband and Make Peace With Marriage...faults the sexual revolution and feminist movement of the last 40 years for convincing women to not demand more of their relationships. ...But how can women find men who are good husbands, fathers and providers? Don't look to feminists for the answers, Venker warns. ...Venker said the feminist movement has taught women to stop needing men – for anything in life – from companionship to financial support or even childbearing.

And:

Venker explains that the feminist culture has created unnecessary marital strife for one big reason: "Women are bitter. They're defensive; they're competitive; and they're ready to pounce... [E]quality is always the goal. Women want to prove they're strong and capable and can't be messed with. To them, that's power. But all women end up doing is proving to men how angry they are. And who wants to be with someone who's mad all the time?"

Venker warns women to stop trying to compete with their husbands and to remove the "boss hat" when they get home – because marriage is about love, not competition and aggressiveness.

"Maybe women think being b-tchy is attractive since that's what they're attracted to. Women love guys who aren't sweet. They gravitate toward men who are confident, accomplished, and yes, full of themselves. Women are forever passing up the nice guy in favor of the jerk. But you can rarely turn this scenario around. Men don't want a b-tch for a wife. So don't be one."

I mean, that's just some solid advice right there. It's almost TOO GOOD, really. If Venker isn't careful, she's going to GREAT ADVICE Dr. Phil right out of a job, and that would be kinda bitchy.

Or not? I'm not sure if it technically makes one a bitch to go all "boss hat" in public. Are guys who don't want a bitch for a wife okay with bitches as colleagues and/or professional competitors? Anti-feminisming is hard. Maybe all of us should just resolve to defer to men at all times, just in case.

[Via HyperVocal.]