Totally True Stories

Once upon a time, Deeky wanted to be in a band. Specifically, he wanted to be in a Britpop band, because who doesn't?

The year was 1986, and young Deeky W. Gashlycrumb was tearing up LA as a performance artist known as Le Voleur de Derrières. He had blazers in every color of the rainbow, and he could roll-tuck his jean cuffs above his black patent loafers so tightly that they became waterproof conveyers of the smuggled vintage Reunite Lambrusco that kept him neck-deep in the finest cassette singles money could buy.

But what he really wanted was to be a pop star.

So he heard that there was this dude in London named Matt Goss was forming a band, and he flew to the UK for a tryout. It went pretty well. Deeky even wrote a great song that he gifted to Matt called "When Will I Be Famous?" I was super happy to hear from him that it was going so well!


It was a very brief marriage in the mid-80s. Let us not speak of it.

It went so well, Matt and Deeks even started shooting promotional materials for the debut album of their newly-formed pop group, Matt and His New Friend Deeky.


Anyway. For those of you who are massive and eternal Goss fans, like I am, you know how this story ends. At the last moment, Matt Goss decided he was not going to move forward with Matt and His New Friend Deeky, kicked Deeks out of the band, and formed a band called Bros. with his twin brother Luke.


They released "When Will I Be Famous?" as a single, which shot to the top of the charts.


Deeky never saw a dime, even though he totally wrote the song. Or at least a version of the song, before the Goss Brothers changed the lyrics, melody, and arrangement. They definitely kept the title, though. I think. Deeky's song might actually have been called "Time for Me to Be Famous," or "I Can't Believe I'm Not Famous." It's all a blur now.

Speaking of Blur, they are a much better band than Bros.

The end.