This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Content Note: Cissexism, heterocentrism, body policing, evo psych.]

MSNBC: Science Proves Women Like Men with Bigger Penises. Science has proven it! That means there's no disputing it! It's SCIENCE!

I'm trying to decide what my favorite, ahem, part of this garbage article is—the cissexism in defining gender via genitalia; the heterocentrism which disappears women who aren't attracted to men at all, as well the men who are; the elision of the fact that much of what we find "attractive" is socialized, as evidenced by changing beauty standards across time and cultures; the treatment of sexual attraction as universal; the tiresome specter of evo-psych; or the total fucking pointlessness of a study that makes no goddamn difference to anyone's lives, with the possible exception of making some men feel shitty about their bodies.

Which isn't even a comprehensive list of objections!

This is just a perfect aside, though: "Women with a greater body mass index held stronger preferences for big penises." Too many jokes. My brain is shorting out.

But stay tuned for my next totally trenchant entry in the Fatsronauts 101 series: "Fatties Love Fatties!"

Discuss.