Donald Trump Is a Clown

That is not Breaking News, I realize. But sometimes his bozosity is just truly breathtaking:

Despite Donald Trump's best efforts, Republican National Convention–goers missed out on what could have been a very interesting video. The real-estate mogul tells me he filmed a five-minute commercial for Romney that featured the mogul saying "You're fired!" to an actor with an uncanny resemblance to the president. The spot would have run at the convention, but the event's schedulers ultimately decided to cut it. Trump says he thinks part of the reason for that was the hurricane, which changed the convention's schedule. But he says Republicans also thought the spot might not have gone over well.

"Everybody thought it was great, but they were afraid to use it," Trump says. "They thought it was too tough."

"They didn't want to rock the boat," he adds, "and the problem with this country is nobody's willing to rock the boat and everybody wants to be so politically correct."

Ha ha yep! That was definitely the problem. If there's one thing everyone always says about the Republican Party, it's that they're TOO POLITICALLY CORRECT. And if there's a second thing everyone always says about the Republican Party, it's that they're SO SCARED to insult the President.

Trump also says he thinks the Romney campaign thought he was too controversial to be an asset in the general election. The star of The Apprentice and Celebrity Apprentice stumped for Romney in a handful of primary states and also made robocalls for him. But Romney's campaign didn't call Trump back once Romney won the nomination (a victory for which Trump takes partial credit). Not getting asked to make a repeat performance "was fine with me, because I do have lots of other things to do," he adds, but he thinks he might have pushed Florida over to Romney in the general.

"I'm not unhappy about it," he tells me, "but I think I would have made a very big difference for him, as I did in the primaries."

WHAT IS HE EVEN TALKING ABOUT. "I'm a very busy gentleman, as evidenced by the gold-plated toilet in my guest bathroom which I paid for with all the money I make being an asshole on television and increasingly infrequently in actual business settings, so I don't even care that I didn't have to ask my secretary to rearrange my schedule to help Mitt Romney win Florida, but if he HAD asked, I would have done it and then he would have won. FACTS."

And now, as the New York Post has reported, Trump is eyeing his own run at the presidency. While he's far from making up his mind, he told me that "what's happening with the country" will inform his decision-making process.

If he notices the entire country, or at least half of it, loses its memory and forgets entirely who Donald Trump is, but is inexplicably inclined to vote for him, he will definitely run. Even though he's busy. Because he is a hero and a patriot. And you're fired.