From the You Can't Make This Shit Up Files

[Content Note: Racism; violence.]

This is an actual fucking conversation between Fox News host Jamie Colby and former federal prosecutor Doug Burns that happened on air on the opening day of George Zimmerman's trial:

"I know that George Zimmerman's attorney will prove that he has no criminal background, he's not an aggressive guy," the Fox News host explained. "That he's a gentle kind caring soul who was minding the neighborhood, the police didn't get there quick enough and he had reason to pursue, even though he was told no to. He was just doing his Good Samaritan job."

...[Said Burns, after pointing out someone can die in a fistfight:] "There's certainly a very good argument to be made that the force used was out of proportion to what was going on, and the kid was unarmed. We didn't even discuss that. Totally different case, let's say the kid had a gun."

"Which he didn't know," Colby observed. "All that Trayvon -- we learned later -- was armed with was a bag of Skittles and an iced tea."

"I know everybody keeps sarcastically saying about the Skittles," Burns complained. "You could probably kill somebody with Skittles."

"It's very compelling," Colby opined. "Only a kid who hadn't had dental work could eat Skittles."

"I know, but I find that rhetoric, 'He had iced tea and a Skittles,' it really doesn't matter," Burns replied. "The point is he didn't have a weapon."

"But he didn't take that iced tea and bang Zimmerman over the head with the bottle," the host noted.

"The thing is, yeah, you're spinning a lot of hypotheticals," Burns agreed. "And you could break a bottle of iced tea, right, with the jagged edge, and you could kill somebody with it."

"You could use it as a weapon," Colby concluded.

All of this, by the way, in the course of a discussion where they allowed that Zimmerman shooting Martin dead may have been an overreaction. "STILL! LET US NOTE YOU COULD PROBABLY KILL SOMEBODY WITH SKITTLES! WE'RE JUST SAYING."