Quote of the Day

"[Ray Donovan showrunner Ann Biderman] writes about violence, vulnerability, and the façade of machismo in a glossy, sexy way, but with depth, duality, and ­humanity. He's very lonely and very isolated. The contract of ­marriage, sexuality, relationships, all of that stuff is outdated. Every other social group has­ gotten an upgrade except for the average white man, and Ray is working on old software, functioning in a world that no longer appreciates men as breadwinners and warriors, and there is a lot of pain in that."—Actor Liev Schreiber, on the titular character in his new Showtime series, Ray Donovan.

"Every other social group has gotten an upgrade except for the average white man." LOL. Okay, player.

It isn't that "average white men" (which, naturally, in the parlance of the kyriarchy means "straight, cisgender, able-bodied, Western, white men") are losing some Zero-Sum Hunger Games of Social Status. In just about every way imaginable, "average white men" still have the advantage out of the starting gate. What "average white men" in the main are lacking, in a time of social change, is a way to (re)define themselves that is neither oppressor nor oppressed.

The Traditional Masculinity of "average white men" has defined itself exclusively in contradistinction to the characteristics it isn't—female, queer, brown—for so long that a serious challenge to the idea of inherent male superiority has left millions of "average white men" floundering—and the best answer most of them have found for the question "What is my role if not a keeper of women, a superior to brown people, an enforcer of cis and hetero dominion?" is "I am a victim of oppression by people unlike me." Otherness has become the center-pin around which masculinity pivots—on one side there is dominion; on the other side, subjugation.

What "average white men" are lacking is not "an upgrade," but a vision of equality.

Marginalized people, those of us who are not "average white men," had to change the rules, because we were told "You can't," because we had seemingly unnavigable barriers put in our way by the "average white men" who didn't want us to succeed, because, if we had played by The Rules (as dictated by The Kyriarchy), we never would have gotten where are—because The Rules were designed so that we fail. For many of us, the odds have been against us our whole lives; everything we've ever done has been in defiance of the distinct likelihood—and expectation—that we would settle for less than we wanted.

But we wanted more, and so we changed the rules—primarily by raising the bar.

The "average white men" who resent that the bar has been raised, their unearned privilege undermined and replaced with an expectation to achieve to the same level as marginalized people who hadn't their head start, can now do naught but whine about victimhood. They haven't yet realized that they are not victims of marginalized people, who only want the equality that's been denied them, but victims of a kyriarchal culture that has spoiled "average white men" with the promise of success without effort, and robbed them of the will to expect more of themselves.

What "average white men" are lacking is not "an upgrade," but great expectations for themselves and of themselves.

Insight isn't the only thing that undiluted privilege doesn't freely give its members; it also robs them of an internal, dignified security that isn't predicated on treating rights as a zero-sum game. Every layer of privilege serves as proxy for the self-assurance hard-won by struggling to be proud despite one's marginalization. Privilege tells its members they need not reflect, or justify, or earn, or question, or fight. They are not social justice "warriors" (though many enlist as defenders of the status quo), because, by virtue of their privilege, they have never had need to be. And they imagine marginalized people have been magically gifted "an upgrade," because, by virtue of their privilege, they have the luxury of ignoring the wars we must fight (though many choose to engage only to fight us back).

Who are they, if that privilege comes undone? If they cannot define themselves as the "breadwinners and warriors," and must express humanity beyond a caretaker/oppressor vocation? Are they good? Are they smart, strong, deserving? They've never had to find out—and thus the insecurity, the resentment of anyone who threatens, in even the most meager way, to topple the tower of unexamined privilege atop which they stand. Their pride was unearned, and they're left with a cavernous void of self-esteem if that tower crumbles beneath their feet.

They are nothing without their privilege, because their privilege has allowed them to live a life never having to be anything, other than privileged.

He is functioning in a world that no longer appreciates men as breadwinners and warriors, and there is a lot of pain in that.

What "average white men" are lacking is not "an upgrade," but a way to appreciate themselves as something other than breadwinners and warriors.

In the same interview, Schrieber describes spending three years of his life in which he followed his partner, actress Naomi Watts, while her career blossomed, "traveling the world and ­being manny to the children." I guess because parenting isn't the sort of job a real "average white man" would do. Mothers are parents; fathers are "mannies."

Maybe "average white men" need to give themselves a goddamn upgrade, instead of waiting for it to be gifted from an unappreciative world. That they run.