Chris Christie Continues to Be Great

If I were in the business of writing news that reflexively pandered to a false objectivity and fetishized kyriarchetypical patriarchs as paragons of humanity, I would describe Republican New Jersey Governor Chris Christie as "pugnacious," but because I am in the business of Shakesville, I describe him as "a belligerent, bloviating, aggressively unpleasant asshole."

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie planted himself firmly in the Republican Party's establishment wing Thursday with a pugnacious speech calling on his party to focus on pragmatism rather than ideology and crippling internal debates.

"We are not a debating society," Christie told a lunchtime audience at the Republican National Committees summer meeting in Boston. "We are a political operation that needs to win."

..."I am in this business to win. I don't know why you are in it. I am in this to win," Christie said at the RNC luncheon.

"I think we have some folks who believe that our job is to be college professors," he said. "Now college professors are fine I guess. Being a college professor, they basically spout out ideas that nobody does anything about. For our ideas to matter we have to win. Because if we don't win, we don't govern. And if we don't govern all we do is shout to the wind. And so I am going to do anything I need to do to win."

..."We need to stop navel gazing. There's nothing wrong with our principles. We need to focus on winning again. There's too much at stake for this to be an academic exercise. We need to win and govern with authority and courage."

What a neat party full of neat people!

Once upon a time, I thought I might be a college professor someday, but then I was all, "Fuck that! NOT ENOUGH WINNING!"

(Seriously, did Chris Christie just call his party too thoughtful? Ha ha good one.)