Filner

[Content Note: Sexual harassment.]

Democratic San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has now been accused of sexual harassment and/or assault by 16 women. And yet he is still refusing to resign.

Embattled San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is expected to be back at work on Tuesday even as efforts to oust him from office seemed to intensify.

A closed-door mediation session between Filner, his representatives, city officials, a retired judge and a few others on Monday ended with no apparent resolution, but San Diego City Councilman Kevin Faulconer said the discussions are ongoing.

...Over the weekend, protesters stood outside City Hall, calling on the mayor to step down.

"There is no excuse for abuse, and there is no excuse for you to stay in power," Attorney Gloria Allred, who also attended the mediation session, told the crowd.

...Filner's office has not responded to multiple CNN requests for comment.

Last month, he acknowledged he "failed to fully respect the women who work for me and with me" and that he was "embarrassed" by his actions. But he also said he will be vindicated by "a full presentation of the facts" and that he would not step down.

Filner will be out one way or another eventually, despite his incredible belief that he's still entitled to a mayorship, that all he has to do is apologize and attend a workshop on basic decency and everything will be fine.

This case is emblematic of a dynamic I've been obliged to experience a lot lately, online and off. Men who fuck up and make spaces unsafe for women think some half-assed apology is all it takes to set things right—and, usually, that's all it does take to set things right for them, thanks to the rock-bottom expectations we have of men who harm women.

But even more critical than an apology, even a meaningful one, is taking oneself out of the space one's actions have made unsafe for women. You harm women, you lose your right to be in that space anymore. That is real accountability which centers the feelings and rights of victims of harm, rather than the centering the entitlement of an abuser.

To assert the right to stay is aggressive. It is a continuation of the abuse. It extends and entrenches the lack of safety for all women.

You harm women, you lose your right to be in that space anymore.

You don't own women, and you don't own access to spaces you have made unsafe for us. Get the fuck out.