It's Flula Time Again

[Content Note: Scatological humor.]

Flula, a young white man speaking in German-accented English directly to the camera while lying in bed: I was speaking to my friend Eric tonight about horror films, you know, movies—movies that are scaresy. And he say: "Ah, Flula, have you—did you see Exorcist?" he say, "Exorcist?" I say, "No." Then he say: "Oh, Flula. Watch it. When you watch it, you will shit a brick."

[blinks; raises an eyebrow; makes a perplexed expression] What? I will shit a brick?! Why, Eric? This is— Number One, it's not possible. Have you seen the hole down in the [points down] the basement here? Have you seen this hole, what is the shapes of it? Es ist kein viereck; it is not a square. It is a [makes fist and looks at the fist-hole] just some circle? Like an oval? Bricks cannot come out! They're cylinders! Cylinders can come out.

I'm not like, what, The Thing from Fantastic Four, you know, The Thing. He's made from rocks. Perhaps he shit bricks. I do not do it.

Or what—I'm like a German robot? Robot—a German robot? Where everything is [draws squares in the air with his index finger] corners corners corners corners. To include down here? [looks down] So when it come out, it's [robot voice and robot hand] beep-um bop-um pfffffft BRICK pfffffft BRICK pfffffft BRICK. (House.)

[perplexed face] No. No, Eric, I do not shit bricks. I poop tubes. I poop tubes.

Case dismissed, Your Honor.