The Trifecta of No

[Content Note: Public marriage proposal; pranking; misogyny.]

Just watch/read this, keeping in mind how much I hate 1. Public marriage proposals; 2. Pranks; 3. The narrative that marriage is more important than ANYTHING ELSE EVAR in any woman's life, and try to imagine the look on my face when I encountered this garbage.

Al Roker: Before we get to the weather, I wanted to bring in Simone Jhingoor, who's a part of a great non-profit. What's the great non-profit?

Simone Jhingoor: It's called the Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation.

Al Roker: That's fantastic. That's great you're doing that. And you—you've got a support staff here—you've got, uh, this is, uhhhhh, Chirag Shah. How are you doing, Chirag?

Jhingoor: This is my partner.

Chirag Shah: Hi, how you doing?

Roker: Your partner, huh? Nice. All right. Why—why are you here?

Shah: Actually— [grabs mic from Roker] Oh, sorry. [laughs] Sorry, actually the question is why is Simone here. Simone, you're actually not here to talk about the amazing work that you do. I'm sorry. BUT. You are here because, as a child growing up in Canton, Michigan, I held onto a vision of, one day, coming and living in New York. Had it not have been for the fulfillment of that vision, I would've never realized my larger purpose of finding such a beautiful and inspiring human being. I am more thankful at this very moment than I have ever been. Simone, you are here today because, yes, it is our anniversary [laughs] and this is happening. I am standing right here, at Rockefeller Plaza, live, on The Today Show, but with nothing on my mind other than to ask you one question. [crowd cheers and shouts as he gets down on one knee and offers her a ring] Will you marry me?

Jhingoor: Wow—yes.

Roker: I was worried there when she paused, Chirag. Congratulations. Wow. [Shah takes out the ring to put it on Jhingoor's finger as the crowd cheers] That's beautiful. Very nice. Congratulations. [Roker points the mic at Jhingoor] So, did you have any idea?

Jhingoor: No, not at all. I thought I was here about my organization and giving back to the community. That's what I thought I was here for!

Roker: Wow. She's very—she's very determined.

Shah: Yeah, if only you could see the rehearsal videos we had yesterday on the way in the car. She had me role-playing you—running through the lines she—

Roker: Ah, you have too much hair. And I like the, the knee switch there. What was that? You started on one knee; you went to the other.

Shah: Yeah, I never practiced the, uh, the "drop of knee" they call it, right? So…. [crosstalk]

Roker: Well, congratulations. Congratulations.

Shah: Thank you.

Roker: That's what's going on around the country. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.

Grossssssssssss. GROSS! Every thing about this is THE WORST! (I am sorry, Simone Jhingoor. I hope you are happy! I'm sorry I hate your marriage proposal! I really did want to hear about the Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation, by the way!) When Al Roker says, to Shah, "She's very determined!" when Jhingoor says she thought she was there to talk about her work, I want to yell things loudly in his face!

I am so glad no one ever put me in the position of thinking I was going to get to talk about my work on national television, only to have it be a SILLY TRICK so they could propose to me instead. What a fun day! I'm engaged—oh, and I had the hugest disappointment of my professional life as my apparently not-even-real thunder was stolen by the person who loves me. Yay?

That would make me SO ANGRY. Which is something I would not even begin to know what to do with while there were cameras pointed in my face and millions of people were watching this shit go down live.

FUCK PUBLIC PROPOSALS! FUCK PRANKS! Throw them all in the garbage and then put that garbage bin in a cannon and fire it directly into the sun!

[Via Marisa.]