Another Day; Another Public Marriage Proposal

[Content Note: Public proposal; misogyny; emotional auditing.]

Today, CNBC's retail correspondent Courtney Reagan was surprised on-air by a marriage proposal, which her boyfriend Jared Baker had orchestrated with CNBC anchor Tyler Mathisen. Video of the proposal is here. I'm not going to embed it, because I refuse to give CNBC traffic and views for this stunt.

But here is a brief description: Mathisen, an older white man, is talking to Reagan, a kyriachetypically pretty white woman, about whether jewelry will be a hot item again this year for gifts. And then he asks about stores like the diamond retailer Jared—get it ha ha because her boyfriend named Jared is about to propose! Classic. Then Baker, a white man, walks onto the set, and he brings Reagan in front of the camera and starts telling her how they've been together a long time but he knew from the start that she was the one and says other super personal things that I shouldn't even know about two people whom I've never met, and then he gets down on one knee and proposes and puts a giant diamond on her finger and she says yes and all the kisses and hugs.

Oh, and this: She cries. A lot. Like, at one point she is actually sobbing.

Okay, so, as I've said like a million times, I hate public marriage proposals for reasons, and I hate public marriage proposals that are also pranks THE MOST, but a public proposal at a woman's workplace is also right at the top of the goddamn list.

With the caveat that not all workplaces are the same, lots and lots of employed women are obliged every day of our lives to moderate or straight-up hide our emotions, because we are incessantly emotionally policed. And while I am keenly aware many men are obliged to do the same, in many workplaces, a man who reacts to something professionally frustrating by expressing anger is not judged in the same way (or at all) as a woman who reacts to the same something professionally frustrating by crying.

Crying in the workplace is something that tends to be held against women forever.

It is not okay to cry if you are frustrated, marginalized, subjected to misogyny, paid less for the same job, sexually harassed, exploited, overworked, bullied, underestimated, left out of after-work drinks with the guys, told to fetch coffee, denied promotions, have sore feet that have been stuck in heels all day, or anything else that might reasonably elicit a tear.

But sobbing on-camera during a live broadcast because your boyfriend and male boss have conspired to arrange a marriage proposal smack in the middle of your workday is totally cool.

Sweet, even. Delightful. So terrific that the entire world should consume this moment.

Because when you're a lady being proposed to by a man, that's the right way to be a woman. As opposed to, say, an uppity bitch who thinks she deserves the same pay for the same day's work.

It sure is interesting, ahem, when we choose to negatively audit women's tears in the workplace, and when we don't.

(I hope you are happy, Courtney Reagan! I'm sorry I hate your marriage proposal!)