Farewell, Cardinal Dolan! It's Been Terrible!

[CN: anti-agency, rape culture, rhetoric of political and religious violence]

Cardinal Timothy Dolan, aka my BFF, has ended his term as president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. In his final address to that body, he left 'em laughing with the astonishing observation that perhaps U.S. Catholics aren't so persecuted just because the Affordable Care Act has a birth control mandate:

At a news conference, Cardinal Dolan said that the bishops are not abandoning the religious liberty campaign, and that it had been “very successful.” But he said that in the interest of justice and the bishops’ own credibility, the bishops should heed the pleas that they have heard from Christians overseas to turn their attention to those who are being killed and persecuted for their faith.

He said, “We don’t have tanks at our door, we don’t have people being macheted on their way home from Mass.”

Of course, Dolan and his fellow bishops were quick to assure the press that birth control, marriage equality, reproductive agency and the like are all still THE DEVIL. But maybe a junior devil. Second-string, even. On a farm team.

Readers of this space will know that Dolan has led the US Catholic bishops into an ever-closer alliance with the Republican Party. Under Dolan, the bishops worked hard to become the GOP's Incense Division, leaving us with bishops comparing Obama to Stalin and Hitler and videos equating a vote for Obama with fiery hell being promoted on parish and diocesan websites, all with nary a peep of disapproval from the USCCB. Now we get the spectacle of Dolan and his fellows somehow trying to reconcile their record with Pope Francis' suggestion that you know, maybe the Church has been over-focusing on that stuff, and OH YEAH economic injustice and shit!

I would find this particular whooooops! pretty funny if it weren't for the millions of living, breathing people that Dolan and his pals have hurt with their blustering absurdities. And if it weren't for the fact that Dolan's chosen successor, seems to be cut from the same altarcloth, personally leading harassment of abortion-seekers and providers and valuing abusive priests more than their victims.

So yeah. Meet the new boss. Pretty much like the old.

(For those of you wondering how you'll live without Cardinal Dolan at the head of the USCCB, here are a few greatest hits from his tenure to ease your loss):

Dear Cardinal Dolan: I Am Not Disposable. [CN: anti-agency]

The High Price of Privilege. [CN: rape, rape culture]

Quote of the Day. [CN: anti-agency]

U.S. Bishops Investigate Girl Scouts. Because McCarthyism.[CN: misogyny, homophobia, antiagency]

Good Luck With All That. [CN: anti-agency]

In Case You Forgot About It. [CN: rape, rape culture]

Notre Dame Sues Over Birth Control Mandate. [CN: anti-agency]

Well, That Didn't Take Long. [CN: homophobia]

Dear Cardinal Dolan, You Are Still an Asshole. [CN: anti-agency]

Important News! [humor/parody]

[Commenting Note: Please take care in comments to distinguish between Catholic leadership and those ordinary Catholics who may be appalled by Dolan and his peers.]