Quickly

A long time ago, I mentioned that the local paper has a section called "Quickly," where people write in one- or two-line comments about random shit and the paper prints them. As you can imagine, this provides me with endless amusement on a constant basis.

The ones I love best are the meta-Quicklys, where people send in a comment just to comment about the quality of the other comments. Like, from Dec. 14:

Please, 10 more comments about trash cans — they just intrigue me to no end.

Perfect. A+ sarcasm. That is a perfect meta-Quickly.

Another favorite is just the random blanket shaming of people's choices, i.e. from Dec. 9:

People with tattoos are just walking billboards advertising for the circus.

LOL! Just try to imagine how pleased with hirself that submitter was seeing that in print.

I also love the ones from conservatives, who make terrific suggestions for What to Do with all the liberals. Also from Dec. 14 [CN: eliminationsm]:

Round up all the liberal lovers and send them to California and then make the fault lines so it moves away from America and becomes an island and nation of its Own.; And take your buddy and the debt along.

Cool idea!

Religion is always a hot topic, too. I mean, you've got your evangelists, your experts, your hand-wringers who invoke Sodom and Gomorrah, your worship policers, and everyone's a critic.

Dec. 13: To a particular pastor in Crown Point: You're an inspiration for me to become an atheist.

But I can't remember the last time a Quickly made me laugh as hard as this helpful correction:

Dec. 14: Its Judeo-Christian, not "Judeau." The etymology of the word has no French influence.

Oh god. Quickly, don't ever change.