That Sound You Hear Is My Mirthless Laughter Reverberating Throughout the Multiverse

[Content Note: Misogyny; war on agency.]

Are you shitting me? You are shitting me:

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee (R) said Thursday that Republicans need to take a more combative attitude toward winning the votes of women, by emphasizing that women aren't weaklings in need of help from the government.

"I think it's time Republicans no longer accept listening to the Democrats talk about a 'war on women,'" Huckabee said during a speech at the Republican National Committee's winter meeting in Washington. "The fact is the Republicans don't have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender."

Huckabee said Democrats rely on women believing they are weaker than men and in need of government handouts, including the contraception mandate in Obamacare.

Huckabee said Democrats tell women "they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Mr. Huckabee, please do tell how you're going to empower me to be something other than the victim of my gender. (!!!) (Also: !!!) (Also: Please do not confuse my being a "victim of my gender" with my being "marginalized by misogynist heapshits because of my gender.") (Also: FUCK OFF.) By denying my agency? By usurping my bodily autonomy? By expressing contempt for my right to consent? By policing my sexuality? By instituting policies that treat me like I'm a fucking stupid piece of shit who can't understand there's A BAYBEE INSIDE ME unless I look at it on an ultrasound I don't want or need?

Tell me more about your war for women. It sounds TERRIFIC.