Assvertising

[Content Note: Misogyny; eating policing; fat bias.]

I saw this commercial last night. It's for repeat offender Taco Bell's "Loaded Grillers," and it is such a piece of shit:

A young thin white man and a young thin white* woman sit at a bar. The man is eating chicken wings, and the woman is eating a salad, eying the man's chicken wings. Guitar music.

The woman reaches for the plate of wings and grabs one and eats it hungrily, while the man gives her A Look. A male voiceover says: "To all the girlfriends out there who just wanted to try a chicken wing."

Cut to the same couple at a concert, where the woman grabs a nacho off a plate of nachos the man is holding. The man looks frustrated. "Who just wanted to try one of our nachos."

Cut to the same couple at a food truck, where the man is buying an order of fries. The woman grabs a handful of fries and shoves them in her mouth. The man looks sad. "And who said things like 'I'm fine!' when we're ordering chili cheese fries."

Cut to the couple sitting on a couch at a house party, watching a game on the TV. The man takes a bite of a Taco Bell Loaded Griller, which is basically a grilled burrito. The woman looks thwarted. "Sorry! But you're gonna have to get your own."

Cut to images of burritos. "Chili cheese fries and chipotle ranch chicken, grilled inside a tortilla so you don't have to share. Taco Bell's newest Loaded Grillers. Appetizers for just a buck."

Ah, the old "women won't eat—except for MY FOOD!" chestnut, staple of lazy misogynist stand-up comics everywhere.

And an episode of Friends fully one million years ago. Totally trenchant, Taco Bell!

It's a familiar narrative: A cis-het man loves a woman who eats! OMG she ate a steak on our date; that is so awesome, dude! But he hates a woman who isn't perfectly, flawlessly thin. OMG she had visible cellulite on her thighs; that is so gross, dude! And he hates a woman who only orders a salad at dinner, but then steals his food. OMG she ordered a salad, but then ate some of my fries!

And truly—who cannot feel this man's pain? Where are the women who will eat exactly what a man wants them to eat, no more and no less, and always remain exactly how he wants her to look? Human women with bodily functions are so annoying, amirite?

Don't even get him started on women who fart!