Assvertising

[Content Note: Rape culture.]

Shaker Mod aforalpha passed this one along to me—an advert called "Would You Whip It Out at Work?" for UrgentRx Critical Care Aspirin:

Two middle-aged white men are working in a warehouse, loading (or unloading?) boxes onto a pallet. White Man #1 turns to the camera and says, "Am I ready to whip it out? You betcha. I can feel my package in my pocket right now. Having it there makes me feel better. And if old man Dan here needed it, I wouldn't hesitate. I'd whip it out and give it to him." He reaches into his pocket as White Man #2 says, "Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" and holds up his hands. He pulls out a package of UrgentRx Critical Care Aspirin.

Cut to graphics of the product, with a male voiceover saying, "UrgentRx Critical Care Aspirin. It's the flavored fast powder you take right away—" graphic of a disembodied female mouth sticking the tongue out to receive a dose of powder "—to help improve the odds of surviving a heart attack." The camera zooms in through the open mouth and we return to the men in the warehouse.

White Man #2 says, standing with his hand on White Man #1's shoulder, "You'd whip yours out and give it to me?"

White Man #1 pokes him in the chest and replies, "That's the kind of guy I am."

White Man #2 says, "Aww, thanks, man."

Cut to graphics reading: "Whip it out. Save a life." The male voiceover says, "Learn how to save your bacon at whipitouturx.com."

Ha ha DO YOU GET IT?! It's FUNNY because it's like the guy is talking about whipping out HIS DICK, which would be a sexual assault, but he's really talking about whipping out MEDICINE. Ha ha OH MY ACHING SIDES.

If you would like to contact UrgentRx and let them know that using sexual assault as a "hilarious" double-entendre in their advertising is a real bullshit move, you can contact them here, leave a note on their Facebook page, and/or tweet at them: @urgentRx.