Say It Ain't So!

[Content Note: Guns; transphobia.]

Piers Morgan, who is also the worst, will no longer be hosting his primetime CNN show. OH NOES! Alec Baldwin and Piers Morgan IN ONE DAY?! How will we all survive this national tragedy?! I hope President Obama is planning an address to help us begin to heal this national wound!

Anyway.

Here is my executive summary of this article, delightfully headlined "Piers Morgan and CNN Plan End to His Prime-Time Show": He's totes British. Blah blah guns. People who watch CNN love America, and therefore they love guns and don't love British people. The end.

Sure.

It's definitely that. You know how Americans are. It's not like there's a sizable contingent of people living in the US who are definitely on board with questioning US gun laws, but couldn't give a squirt about Piers Morgan's show for other reasons, like the fact that he's a transphobic dipshit (for a start) with the journalistic ethics of a Fox News anchor. It's definitely that USians are too parochial to appreciate his totally trenchant show or whatever.

"Look, I am a British guy debating American cultural issues, including guns, which has been very polarizing, and there is no doubt that there are many in the audience who are tired of me banging on about it," he said. "That's run its course and Jeff and I have been talking for some time about different ways of using me."

Maybe there's an opening on the "loop Anderson Cooper giggling!" viral video team.

Good luck, Piers Morgan! CNN will definitely be less manly without you.