Ted Cruz

[Content Note: Homophobia, misogyny, racial slur, incitement.]

Republican Senator Ted Cruz totally definitely for sure wants to be your president, and he is almost certainly going to run for the 2016 Republican nomination. So queue the long-form profiles of this terrifying gentleman from Texas!

First up! Jeffrey Toobin for the New Yorker: "The Absolutist: Ted Cruz is an unyielding debater—and the far right's most formidable advocate."

If you don't feel like reading the whole thing, Elias Isquith has some highlights here.

But I recommend taking the time to read the whole thing, because it's a pretty solid background piece on one of the likely candidates for the next presidential election, which will be starting any second now.

Every word that comes out of Senator Cruz's facehole is stanktankerous garbage, but I am particularly contemptuous of all of his little ha-ha jokes about how the conservative base needs to "rise up" and take on Washington. Which isn't even part of the country, per Cruz.

Cruz and I were talking in a back room at the Fort Worth Convention Center earlier this month, during the Texas Republican Convention. A crowd of more than seven thousand greeted Cruz's speech there rapturously. They cheered his anti-Washington gibes. "I spent all week in Washington, D.C., and it's great to be back in America," he told the delegates.

Says the man who makes his living as a Senator and wants to be President.

He doesn't hate D.C. He just wants his constituents to hate it. But just enough to keep sending him back there with ever more power.