An Observation

[Content Note: Fat bias; emotional policing.]

I wonder how many thin people understand the enormous pressure on visible fat women to model an impervious armor of deflective wit.

That's a dynamic I've written about before, in discussing Gabby Sidibe's response to the fat hatred she gets on social media, this idea that fat women must always convey strength and tenacity and resiliency.

And I wonder how many thin people understand that obliges us to pretend like fat hatred doesn't get to us.

That we must be both fierce and friendly in order to be listened to. In order to be worth listening to.

That we must couch all discussion of harm within humor.

It's tiring, not to mention counterproductive, to have to project a veneer of imperviousness to the very harm caused by the hatred we're trying to explain is harmful.

So, here's the deal: If you really want to be an effective thin ally to fat people, the first and most important thing you can do is grant us our full humanity in your every interaction with us.

That includes letting us talk about the incredibly damaging effects of fat hatred in ways that maybe aren't so comfortingly sassy.