Top by ModCloth; vintage purse purchased from Etsy.
This is one of my favorite combinations: A polka dot top in a vintage-ish style and a vintage bag I picked up a few years ago for a couple of bucks. I feel happy in this outfit.
One of the things about the material from which this top is made is that it clings. You can definitely see my round belly in this one. A few years ago, there's no way I would've worn it, because I would have been far too self-conscious.
Not because I imagined that anyone couldn't tell I was fat if I buried myself beneath baggy, shapeless frocks (and there's nothing wrong with wearing baggy, shapeless frocks if that's the way you're most comfortable!), but because I have been entrained to believe that I should conceal evidence of my fatness as best as possible out of courtesy for other people who don't like looking at fat bodies.
Yeah. Fuck that.
The thing about that expectation is that it was always a no-win proposition, anyway. If I wore ill-fitting, figure-disguising clothes, then I was criticized for being unfashionable. (Which, when I worked in an office, went hand-in-hand with "looking unprofessional.") If I wear fitted, figure-revealing clothes, then I am criticized for "showing off" my fatness.
So there's no sense dressing to avoid the inevitable criticism of my fat body. Instead, I dress in a way that at least makes me feel good.
[Content Note: Fat shaming.]
On a related note, yesterday, Dear Abby answered a letter from a fat woman being fat shamed and body policed by her mother, under the auspices of making other people "uncomfortable," and the answer was absolutely heinous: "You are not wrong for wanting to be comfortable. But please remember that when you visit someone else's home, that person's wishes take precedence—even if it used to be your childhood home. While you say you are comfortable in your own skin, it would be interesting to know what your physician thinks about your obesity. I suspect that your mother would be prouder of you if you were less complacent and more willing to do something about your weight problem."
HOLY SHIT.
(Via Shaker M, there is a blog seeking better responses to Abby's correspondent here.)
This is the exact entrainment to which I was referring: This idea that fat people are meant to dress in a way that shields and protects thin people from their discomfort with our bodies.
Instead of, you know, advising thin people to get the fuck over it.
Anyway. That socialization can be incredibly difficult to overcome. Here I am, at 40, just shaking off the vestiges of a lifetime of expectations that I engage in self-hatred for the comfort of others.
How about you?
As always, all subjects related to fat fashion are on topic. You don't need to stick to this one!
Have at it in comments! Please remember to make fat women of all sizes, especially women who find themselves regularly sizing out of standard plus-size lines, welcome in this conversation, and pass no judgment on fat women who want to and/or feel obliged, for any reason, to conform to beauty standards. And please make sure if you're soliciting advice, you make it clear you're seeking suggestions—and please be considerate not to offer unsolicited advice. Sometimes people just need to complain and want solidarity, not solutions.
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