RickPAC

Republican Texas Governor Rick Perry has formed a political action committee, because he is definitely planning to run for president and totally lose again, and, no, I am not making up that it is called RickPAC:

Perry filed the paperwork for RickPAC with the Federal Election Commission. It was processed Thursday. PAC spokesman Mark Miner told Bloomberg News on Monday that the political action committee would help "elect Republicans to office who share the governor's philosophy of low taxes, limited government, border security, and job creation."

That is the weaksauciest dodge to avoid saying, "Yes, he's running for president" ever. I can practically hear his strategists giggling in a shittily appointed conference room: "Technically it's true! RickPAC will help elect Republicans who share the governor's philosophy—LIKE THE GOVERNOR!" Giggles.

Perry, who ran an unsuccessful campaign for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012, hasn't been shy about letting people know that he's considering another run. He's slated to make August appearances in key 2016 states, including Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.

So get ready, Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina! Rick Perry's coming to town! And you know what that means—mildly inconvenient traffic delays to accommodate terrible speechmaking and ice cream eatin' photo ops!

RickPAC! Jazzhands!