Discussion Thread: Whispered Warnings

[Content Note: Sexual harassment and abuse.]

Last night, after reading Melissa Martin's terrific piece, "Do You Know About Jian?", which Aphra also linked below, I was texting with Jessica Luther about it, and I told her: Reading that piece, I was thinking about all the professional (and educational, and social, and other) spaces in which women whisper warnings to each other about men who have already hurt women or have sent up red flags that they might hurt women.

And then I thought about the traditional professional spaces in which I've worked, and how, in each one, the women have whispered warnings to each other about certain men. And, in those same spaces, (some) men have whispered about which women were "easy."

Women whisper about which men will try to take advantage of us, while (some) men whisper about the women they can take advantage of.

That's a pretty stark disparity between many women's and men's experiences of shared spaces.

Later, Jess tweeted: "I would bet almost every single woman can think of a man that she has had to whisper warnings about."

I have written previously on my experience of male coworkers about whom women in the office whispered warnings. They are two of many about whom I could write.

I've warned and/or been warned about coworkers. Classmates. Peers in social groups. Participants in gaming groups. Family members.

I suspect, like Jess, that nearly every woman has a story she could tell.

Here is a space to tell them, if you are so inclined.