There Is No Neutral in a Culture of Abuse

Posted by Melissa McEwan at Wednesday, October 15, 2014
[Content Note: Harassment; threats; abuse.]

For those who aren't on Twitter, and/or would like a discussion space for this idea, I had a few more things to say earlier about GamerGate, the threats against Anita Sarkeesian, and what it means to stand silent. So here they are:

screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'This is your regularly scheduled reminder that men who harass and abuse women count on 'good men' never showing up to stop them.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'To the people who are simultaneously saying 'small but vocal minority' of gamers, and 'things have gotten out of control lately'...'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: '...let me propose this idea: You listen to the lived experiences of gamers from marginalized populations who say this isn't new...'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'To the gamers from marginalized populations whose lived experience is that, in fact, it is not a minority of people who harass us.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'Who will tell you that the people who *don't* make problems for us, who defend us, are the rare exception.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'And then consider, seriously, if that 'vocal minority' isn't actually as small as you'd like to think it is.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'And if your instinct is to argue, 'The majority isn't actively harmful, just silent,' ask yourself why the fuck should we care.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'And why we should be obliged to make distinctions between people who hurt us, and people who don't care that people hurt us.'
screen cap of tweet authored by @RedManatee reading: 'Silence supports the status quo, as you say so eloquently (and often!)' followed by a tweet authored by me responding: 'Yup. There's no neutral in a culture of abuse.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'Let me say that again: There is no neutral in a culture of abuse. If you're silent, if there is no risk to speaking up, you're complicit.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'There are people who cannot safely speak up. Self-care isn't complicity. But being called a 'white knight' or 'whipped' or wev isn't danger.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'If you stay silent, because it makes you uncomfortable to be called [a girl], get it together. I get rape and death threats.'
screen cap of tweet authored by me reading: 'All the mirthless laughter in the multiverse that women are the Weaker Sex. I don't have the luxury of crumbling b/c I'm called [a girl].'

I also just quickly want to underline this point: Staying silent for self-protection and self-care is not complicity. It is also not cowardly. As I have said many times in this space, self-care—especially within a culture that discourages it—is always indicative of strength.

And it is not neutral. Someone who has to stay silent, who has effectively been silenced, because they cannot safely speak out is a victim of the culture of abuse.

Conversely, someone is silent simply because they can, because it's easier, is not a victim, but a co-conspirator of abusers.
Labels: , , ,

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus