This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Content Note: Misogyny; violence; rape culture; reproductive coercion; MRA talking points.]

A friend of mine got into it with a bunch of MRA douchebags on social media today, because: 1. He is awesome; 2. He was pushing back on one of the most incredibly stupid articles asking "What about female privilege?"

I'm not going to link to the article, because fuck that, but I thought we'd all enjoy having a go at the list of alleged "female privileges" put forth by its author.

1. As a rescue worker I learned that the women and children get special treatment and men are secondary creature. Women never have to worry because in a natural disaster they get pulled out first during an evacuation.

2. College campuses have Women Only clubs but Male only clubs tend to be prohibited.

3. If a guy runs away from a fight he is a coward but if a woman does so she is praised for her nonviolent actions.

4. If a guy starts a fight he is likely to go to jail, if a woman does she is considered sexy. Hell the woman can hit a dude in the face and expect not to be hit back.

5. If a man and a woman have a physical altercation, it is assumed the man was the aggressor.

6. If a man cracks a joke about the rape of a woman he is attacked and ostracized but if anyone cracks a joke about raping a man, everyone laughs.

7. If a woman and a man commit a crime, the woman in most cases will get less significantly less time.

8. In most states, if the mother wants to keep a child in a custody battle, she gets the child unless the father can prove she is unfit. Where is the equality in that?

9. In the cases of divorce, men are often forced to pay the living expenses of their former spouse.

10. It is socially acceptable that a woman has a social support network but if a man has one he is considered weak.

11. Lets look at Breast cancer, it is in the news, sports teams flaunt it in our face, and it gets constant national attention but you never hear about prostate cancer and prostate cancer kills more men than breast cancer kills women.

12. Male soldiers are expected go into battle but female soldiers are not. On top of that men have to fear the draft and women are exempt from it.

13. Men are assumed to be Misogynist unless they are very vocal and active in proving otherwise.

14. Men are barred from the debate of gender issues while women control and direct the debate in the direction of their choosing.

15. Men are often victims of domestic violence at about the same ratio as women. The police do nothing to stop it and the man is considered weak and spineless if he does nothing about it.

16. Men are portrayed as lazy and stupid in the media while women are portrayed as sexy and smart.

17. Men are twice as likely to be the victim of an assault but the media reports far more often if the victim was a woman.

18. Men are viewed as a potential rapist simply because they have a penis. If they look at a woman appraisingly, they are considered lewd and violent. If a woman stares at a man appraisingly or even suggests sexual acts to him, she is applauded for being a free spirit.

19. Men constantly have to live with the fear of being accused of being a sexual predator if the show any interest in interacting with children not their own. Women can freely talk to and play with other people’s kids.

20. Men get labeled a sex offender for peeing in an alley. Women get a warning from the cop.

21. Men get to watch women on talk shows laugh about a man getting his penis chopped off. If a man laughed about a woman getting her breast chopped off, his media career would be over.

22. Men in America get their penis cut and mutilated at birth and no one speaks out about it. Yet if women got their genitals mutilated at birth we would hear a loud and vocal outcry of injustice.

23. Men pay more for car insurance than women do.

24. Men who make a sexual joke at work are likely to be fired for sexual discrimination but women who say the exact same joke are not.

25. Woman decide if they will carry a child to term once pregnant. The father has no so whatsoever. And if the man doesn't want the child, the woman can take him to court and force him to pay her for 18 years so that she can care for the child.

26. Women have several organizations that provide free housing in times of need and a single woman finds it easier to get social services from the government than a man.

27. Women live longer than men. While this is not a social construct it is an awesome privilege.

28. Women never have to worry about getting their life ruined with a false accusation of rape following an evening of consensual sex. I am glad that I am married because I am afraid to have sex without proof that it was consensual.

29. Women often go on dates for free as the man pays for everything.

30. My final point, Misandry is ignored by our society and if it is called out, no one hears or pays attention. Women are allowed to show hatred of men while men cannot even ask a question that might imply a woman is hateful. When a man tries to debate the whole women rights issue, he is accused of being a Misogynist.

I am very tempted to write a rebuttal to each of these items, but I don't want to hoard all the fun for myself!

So instead, I'll leave it for all of us to discuss in comments, and just note that many of these are patently false; many of them elide that the reasons for these "privileges" are because women are objectified and dehumanized and viewed as "the weaker sex," which sure as fuck doesn't feel like a privilege; it is possible to believe that many of these alleged "privileges" exist only by disappearing all but the most privileged women; and all of the items that have even a shred of truth to them (e.g. routine circumcision) are issues regularly addressed by feminists.

And I'll leave it there with this final observation: MRAs are the most likely and insistent yielders of the accusation that feminists and womanists view ourselves as "victims." But there are no bigger imaginary victims on the planet than these fucking bozos.