Film Corner: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

IT'S HERE IT'S HERE IT'S HERE! ANOTHER OFFICIAL TEASER TRAILER FOR STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS!!! WHICH SHOWS MORE STUFF! LET'S ALL WATCH IT AND/OR READ THE TRANSCRIPT AND TALK ABOUT IT LIKE A BUNCH OF SUPER EXCITED NERDS! OR NOT! WHATEVER IS YOUR PREFERENCE!


Video Description: John Williams music. Lucasfilm logo. A wide shot of a landspeeder cruising over a desert landscape (which looks like Tatooine, but is actually a planet called Jakoo) (or Jaku) (I don't know!) (NEW STUFF!) and zips right past the crashed remains of an X-Wing and a Star Destroyer (!!!) (also: !!!). Fade to black.

A male voice (LUKE? IT IS LUKE?! I THINK IT'S LUKE!) says in voiceover: "The Force is strong in my family." Fade into a trashed Darth Vader helmet. Oh shit! Darth Vader breathing mingles with the crescendoing music. The voiceover continues: "My father has it. I have it." Image of a cloaked man reaching out his hand to touch R2-D3. The hand is bionic! It's the same bionic hand Luke has! Cut to someone (whose face isn't visible) handing someone else (whose face isn't visible) a lightsaber. "My sister has it." Fade to black. "You have that power, too."

OMG WHO IS HE TALKING TO?! AHHHHHHHHHH!

Text onscreen: "This Christmas."

Montagery! X-Wings fly over some water, and one of the pilots (a dude) shouts excitedly. Lightsaber battle! A white woman and a black man and a little spinny robot running from an explosion. A Sith Lord! Stormtroopers! The white woman again! TIE Fighters! Explosion at (I THINK) an Imperial hangar. The black man, dressed as a stormtrooper, takes off his helmet and breathes dramatically. Star Destroyer! SITH! Robot! White woman! Black man! The white woman reaches out her hand to him, and he breathes dramatically and then grabs her hand. THE MILLENIUM FALCON!!!!!!!11!

Chewbacca and Han Solo appear onscreen. "Chewie," Han says, "we're home."

"Rrrrrrrowrrrrrr!" Chewie says.

Text onscreen: "STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS."

*falls over*