Primarily Speaking

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I love I love I love the primaries and I just can't hide it! Are you as excited as I am! I BET YOU ARE! If you are so excited about all the cool people running for president, please check this box: □

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush continues to convince me that he is an awesome candidate "by naming his brother, former president George W. Bush, as his most influential counselor on U.S.-Israel policy. 'If you want to know who I listen to for advice, it's him,' Bush said Tuesday, speaking to a crowd of high-powered investors at the Metropolitan Club, according to four people present." GOOD CALL, JEB BUSH! If there is one thing I always say about US politics, it's MORE GEORGE W. BUSH FOREIGN POLICY IDEAS, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

This is what happens when people who hate government run for head of government: "Disparaging Congress is nothing new in today's Republican Party, which has thrived on a hearty strain of antigovernment, anti-establishment intensity. ...Some of the most unforgiving criticism actually comes from [the Republican senators running for president], who are just as eager to dissociate themselves from their line of work as their opponents are to remind voters of it. 'Washington is broken. Trust me, I've seen it firsthand,' Senator Ted Cruz of Texas often says, whether on the Senate floor or at rallies in Iowa and New Hampshire. ...Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky prefers 'horribly broken.' But he does not stop there. His campaign slogan for president is 'Defeat the Washington Machine.'" They sound terrific!

Speaking of Republican Senators who hate Washington, Senator Lindsey Graham is telling donors, i.e. the most important Republican constituency, that he'll probably announce his candidacy on June 1. I CAN'T WAAAAAAAAIT!

In super bad news for Professor of Bible Bigotry Mike Huckabee, a new Wall Street Journal/NBC survey has found "that more Americans would be comfortable with a gay or lesbian president (about 61 percent of respondents) than they would with an evangelical Christian president (only 52 percent)." NOT READY FOR HUCKABEE.

Hahahahahaha: "It has been only three weeks since Hillary Rodham Clinton declared her candidacy for the White House, but she already looks more confident than she did during the almost 17 months of her last campaign. ...Now, she is projecting a scandals-be-damned attitude and barreling ahead with her agenda." Stay tuned for next week's narrative, when Hillary Clinton will be a monster who is paralyzed by scandal and doesn't even have a coherent agenda!

Senator Bernie Sanders is basically the opposite of liberal on gun control. Yuck!

In other news: A bunch of other Republican bozos are still running for president. Jesus, taxes, immigrants, Hillary Clinton is an old lady. Etc.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.