Um.

[Content Note: Homophobia.]

Someone literally wants to make a federal case out of her own bigotry:

An Auburn [Nebraska] woman calling herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus Christ, filed a federal lawsuit Friday against all homosexual [people].

Sylvia Driskell, 66, said in the suit that she is petitioning the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard "in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?"

In a seven-page letter framed as a lawsuit, she cited Bible passages that described homosexuality as an abomination and against nature, and she said never before has the nation or the state been "besiege(d) by sin."

"Will all the judges of this nation judge God to be a lier [sic]?" Driskell asked.

She sounds like a terrific person who knows how to ask some terrific questions!

She said she petitioned the court because she feels it imperative to stand up for the moral principles on which the nation was founded.

Ah yes, the founding principles. "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Also: No butt stuff."

As I'm sure you're aware, there's long been an argument about whether the Founders included what's colloquially known as the Butt Stuff Provision as an explicit condemnation of homosexuality, taking a cis male centric view, or whether their intent was a broad admonishment to anyone with predilections toward posterior pleasures. You know, a typical strict constructionist debate.

Hopefully, Ms. Driskell's lawsuit will help us sort this out once and for all. Good luck suing ALL THE GAY PEOPLE IN AMERICA, Ms. Driskell! You are a true patriot.

Deeky W. Gashlycrumb, you're gonna need a lawyer. Better Call Saul!