"This Is a Negative Story About Clinton, We Swear!"

[Content Note: Misogyny.]

Let's start with the headline of this WaPo piece on Hillary Clinton's favorability ratings: "Hillary Clinton's declining image numbers inch upward."

LOLOLOL! That is a real winner, right there.

"How do we make this story about an increase in Clinton's approval ratings sound negative?"

"I've got it! Let's call them declining numbers even as they're inclining!"

"Walters, you're a genius!"

"And let's say they're 'inching upward,' even though her net favorability is up six points since August!"

"Thompson, give Walters a raise!"

Naturally, it only gets worse from there. This is, perhaps, my favorite part:

Clinton's net favorability didn't change among Democrats, we'll note, while both Bernie Sanders and non-candidate-and-maybe-never-candidate Joe Biden saw improvements with Democrats. Clinton gained with independents -- and Republicans, where she essentially had nowhere to go but up. Biden saw the biggest gain in net favorability with Republicans, though, gaining 12 points.

So, Clinton's favorability hasn't decreased among Democrats, and she's gained six points with independents and Republicans in the last two months, and yet who cares yawn fart because "she had nowhere to go but up" with them, anyway.

The desperate attempt to paint Clinton in the most unfavorable light at all turns makes for the most ridiculous reporting I've ever fucking read.

Or maybe this is my favorite part:

We'll note that, for her recent improvement, Clinton is still the least positively viewed Democrat among the three that poll the highest. At least on net. She is also the most popular Democrat among Democrats, with 79 percent favorability to Biden's 72 and Sanders's 47. It's just that she's viewed far worse by Republicans.

"We'd better begrudgingly acknowledge that she's actually still the most popular candidate with the people most likely to vote for her!"

Clinton is more popular among members of her party than a sitting vice-president in her party. That is remarkable. And yet the headline is all about her "declining image." I mean.

*this face*

"Walters, go write up a piece about why there aren't more women in politics. Make it about how women are constitutionally unsuited for it!"

"You want me to include some evo psych?"

"Walters, they might as well give you the Pulitzer now!"