In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

[Content Note: Murder] So, allegedly, almost two decades ago, a construction worker found a knife buried on a property owned by O.J. Simpson and turned it over to a police officer, who only now has handed it over to investigators. Whut? LAPD spokesman Andrew Neiman says "the knife would be tested for DNA evidence, but added it was possible that 'the whole story is bogus from the get-go.'" Oh ya think?

[CN: Privilege] BERNIE SANDERS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING? "Fox News is not usually the destination of choice for Democratic candidates seeking to spread their message, but Bernie Sanders has agreed to participate in an hour-long town hall hosted by the network here on Monday. ...Sanders spokesman Michael Briggs said there had also been discussions about having Republican front-runner Donald Trump appear at the same forum, an idea Sanders welcomed." (Clinton was also invited, but declined citing a scheduling conflict, which is the polite way of saying FUCK YOU, FOX NEWS.) Rinse and repeat everything I said about Sanders' visit to Liberty University. I'm frankly even more annoyed that Sanders "welcomes" the idea of a town hall with Trump. Sure, let's bolster that shitlord's candidacy even more. Between this crap and Jane Sanders having said on CNN yesterday that running against Trump would be "fun," I am beyond the beyond with this campaign at this point.

Former Republican turned failed Democratic presidential candidate Jim Webb says that he won't vote for Hillary Clinton if she's the Democratic nominee, but might vote for Donald Trump if he's the Republican nominee. "'I would not vote for Hillary Clinton,' Webb said on MSBNC's Morning Joe. When asked whether he'd vote for Trump, Webb said he wasn't closed to the idea. 'I'm not sure yet. I don't know who I'm going to vote for,' he said. ...'If you're voting for Donald Trump, you may get something very good or very bad,' Webb said. 'If you're voting for Hillary Clinton, you're going to be getting the same thing.'" This fucking guy.

[CN: War on agency] Meanwhile, while abortion hardly figures in the public conversation during this presidential election: "West Virginia Republicans this week passed a bill that would criminalize a medical procedure often used after a miscarriage and during second-trimester abortions. SB 10, sponsored by state Sen. Dave Sypolt (R-Preston), would prohibit someone from performing or attempting to perform a 'dismemberment abortion' unless it is necessary to prevent serious health risk to the pregnant person. The bill targets the dilation and evacuation (D and E) procedure, commonly used in second-trimester abortion care. During the procedure, a physician dilates the patient's cervix and removes the fetus using forceps, clamps, or other instruments. ...D and E bans are the latest chapter in a decades-old strategy by the anti-choice movement to target specific abortion procedures. Health and medical professionals criticize these bans as substituting politicians' agendas for the judgment and expertise of doctors." Any physician who violates the West Virginia law would be "guilty of a felony and may be fined $10,000 and imprisoned for up to two years. The physician may also face injunction and civil damages." You know—to protect "women's health."

[CN: Child neglect and abuse] I don't even have words: "Immigrant children trying to stay in the United States are often left to defend themselves against a team of skilled government lawyers in court proceedings because they are not entitled to legal counsel. Now, one immigration judge is claiming that three and four-year-olds can learn immigration law well enough to represent themselves, the Washington Post reported. 'I've taught immigration law literally to 3-year-olds and 4-year-olds,' Jack H. Weil, an immigration judge, said in sworn testimony in a deposition in Seattle, Washington federal court, according to the publication. 'It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of patience. They get it. It's not the most efficient, but it can be done.' He made the claim twice more in the deposition, stating, 'I've told you I have trained 3-year-olds and 4-year-olds in immigration law. You can do a fair hearing. It's going to take you a lot of time.' Weil's statement are part of a lawsuit spearheaded by the American Civil Liberties Union and other immigrant advocacy groups calling on the government to provide appointed legal counsel for children who are unable to afford one themselves in court proceedings. He insisted that the comments were taken out of context in a follow-up email with the Washington Post." Of course he did.

[CN: Police misconduct; misogynoir] GOOD: "Nearly eight months after he violently arrested Sandra Bland—who subsequently died in police custody—Brian Encinia is now jobless. Former trooper Encinia was indicted for perjury on January 6, when a grand jury decided that he made false statements about his actions while arresting Bland. The Texas Department of Public Safety (DPS) immediately announced that it would 'begin termination proceedings to discharge him.' Encinia challenged the decision, but DPS announced yesterday (March 2) that his termination is now final, effective immediately."

"Mark Hamill is very keen on the idea that Luke Skywalker could be gay. It's a notion he's brought up before. But his thoughts are being given new legitimacy given director JJ Abrams recent remarks that 'it seems insanely narrow-minded and counterintuitive to say that there wouldn't be a homosexual character' in the Star Wars universe. Said Hamill, according to a new report in The Sun: 'I just read online that JJ is very much open to that. In the old days you would get fan mail. But now fans are writing and ask all these questions, 'I'm bullied in school… I'm afraid to come out.' They say to me, 'Could Luke be gay?' I'd say it is meant to be interpreted by the viewer. If you think Luke is gay, of course he is. You should not be ashamed of it. Judge Luke by his character, not by who he loves.'" ♥

Neat! "The Hubble Space Telescope just calculated the distance to the most far-out galaxy ever measured, providing scientists with a look deep into the history of the universe. The far-away galaxy, named GN-z11, existed a mere 400 million years after the Big Bang, or about 13.3 billion years ago. Because the light from such a distant galaxy must travel huge distances to reach Earth, scientists are seeing the galaxy as it looked over 13 billion years ago."

Oh nooooo, lol! "Wading birds in the Everglades prefer to nest near resident gators for protection. And the arrangement appears to be mutually beneficial." But: "There is one drawback for adult birds who stray too close to their bodyguard: Gators are not discriminating diners. 'I liken it less to a bodyguard situation, more like keeping some psychopathic murderer in your yard, to keep out cat burglars.'"

And finally! "Photographer Photoshops His Dog into a Giant." Exactly as advertised. I can't stop laughing!