Women Are the Worst, Amirite?

[Content Note: Misogyny.]

So, actor John Goodman was on the Howard Stern Show earlier this week and told a story about meeting actor (and Ghostbuster!) Kristen Wiig and how she is the worst! And everyone who hears the story definitely agrees that she is the worst!

Here is a typical example [CN: moving GIF at link] of how the story is being reported:

At a social gathering, Goodman, an admittedly huge fan of Wiig's work, approached the "Bridesmaids" star mid-conversation and it didn't go so well.

"She was talking to somebody else, and I was just—I think she's so great, and the social barriers broke down and I interrupted the conversation," he explained to Stern. "And I would just hate for somebody to do that to me. And she goes, 'Yeah, I'll talk to you in a minute.' [makes sound of bomb dropping] It was like the Atom. I shrunk down to Atom size. ...I really like her, and it was embarrassing, so I'll never speak to her again."

We're sorry, but when John freaking Goodman is fangirling over you, the least you can do is take a moment to tell him your favorite "Roseanne" episode.

So, let's recap: Goodman is a fan of Wiig. He saw her talking to someone else and interrupted her, which he would hate for somebody to do to him, but did it anyway. And instead of immediately dropping her conversation with someone else, which they might have considered pretty rude, she told him she would talk to him in a minute.

That actually doesn't sound very terrible to me!

And I suspect if that had been the whole story, it wouldn't have sounded very terrible to anyone else, either.

But Goodman went on to explain that her failure to immediately stop her conversation and give him her full and undiluted attention on his schedule made him feel small and insignificant.

Now that is a thing that a woman is not allowed to do to a man! HOW DARE SHE.

Never mind that telling someone who interrupts you, no matter how important they actually are or perceive themselves to be, that you'll be with them in a moment is not actually a belittling thing to do.

We can't always control how we feel when someone draws a reasonable boundary. So I get why Goodman might have felt that way in that moment. And it doesn't feel good to feel small and insignificant, even if it's your own responsibility for feeling that way.

But you know what I bet feels even worse? Having a person go on a national broadcast and tell a story about how you're a rude bitch that they'll never speak to again, all because you refused to prioritize them on demand.

And if Goodman didn't know that Wiig would get the "what a bitch!" treatment, that virtually every retelling of this story would be accompanied by an admonishment to Wiig that she should have behaved differently, then that is a luxury of his male privilege.

Though I strongly suspect he knew exactly how it would go. Because anyone who's been alive for more than five minutes could have told you exactly how that would go.

The entire point of this story is vengeance against a woman who "embarrassed" him by not treating him like the most important thing on the planet the moment he arrived in her vicinity. And I'm not going to pretend for a moment that it was ever intended to be anything else.

"So I'll never speak to her again." I'm sure she's crushed, John Goodman.