The Definitive Proof That Hillary Is A MONSTER

Oh, Hillary Clinton. You keep living your life and serving your country and running for office and giving terrific speeches as though you're not a horrendo nightmare monster, but, if you were really just a human woman whose blood isn't running with the malevolence of an actual devil, wouldn't your approval ratings be higher than they are?

This headline from Gallup perfectly encapsulates how extraordinarily terrible the she-beast really is: "Hillary Clinton Unique with No Post-Election Image Gain."

UNIQUE. No one, but no one, is as bad as she is, friends.

Over the past quarter century, the favorable ratings of losing presidential candidates generally have increased after the election — some in the immediate aftermath and others in the months that followed. With the exception of John Kerry, for whom there are no comparable data, losing presidential candidates since 1992 have experienced a boost of at least four percentage points in favorability when averaging their ratings from the day after the election through the following June.

While some increases have been modest, such as Mitt Romney's and Bob Dole's four-point improvements, others have been much larger, such as George H.W. Bush's 16-point and John McCain's 14-point gains in favorability.

But for Clinton, this has not been the case. Seven months after her failed bid for the presidency, she remains as unpopular now as she was then.

She is the ONLY ONE whose favorability hasn't improved after losing. She is also the only losing opponent whom the winning candidate kept publicly trash-talking long after the election was over; the only one who was (is) called corrupt by the seated president. She's the only one who lost to a president who continues to hold rallies at which he continues to rail about his opponent and suggest she needs to be investigated.

She's the only one who went away for awhile only to be scolded for disappearing into the woods, and the only one who returned to the public sphere only to be admonished to go away. She's the only one whom a former vice-president of her own party and her former primary opponent repeatedly blame for losing the election, even though she won the popular vote despite unprecedented foreign interference, breathtaking unprofessionalism from the intelligence community, shameful media coverage, voter suppression, and a tsunami of misogyny.

She is also the only woman on this list.

A woman who has been chosen as Gallup's most admired woman of the year a record twenty-one times. Which Gallup didn't bother to mention in their story about her "Unique No Post-Election Image Gain."

She wins that popular vote handily. She won the popular vote of the presidential election handily. But for some mysterious reason, her image isn't bouncing back like all those dudes who weren't social-media-shat-upon by the victors to whom they lost, and whose party didn't tell them to FOAD after they lost.

Anyway. It's all enough to give me another idea for a title for Hillary's upcoming memoir:

Please feel welcome to use it, Hillary. It's the least I can do for a fellow monster. And, hey, if you need a co-writer, call me!