A City of Two Tales

[Content Note: Rape culture; sexual abuse.]

It's impossible (for me) to ignore the poignant juxtaposition between these two things published in the New York Times last night.

1. Lupita Nyong'o: Speaking Out About Harvey Weinstein.

I have been following the news and reading the accounts of women coming forward to talk about being assaulted by Harvey Weinstein and others. I had shelved my experience with Harvey far in the recesses of my mind, joining in the conspiracy of silence that has allowed this predator to prowl for so many years. I had felt very much alone when these things happened, and I had blamed myself for a lot of it, quite like many of the other women who have shared their stories.

But now that this is being discussed openly, I have not been able to avoid the memories resurfacing. I have felt sick in the pit of my stomach. I have felt such a flare of rage that the experience I recount below was not a unique incident with me, but rather part of a sinister pattern of behavior.

...Fortunately for me, I have not dealt with any such incidents in the business since. And I think it is because all the projects I have been a part of have had women in positions of power, along with men who are feminists in their own right who have not abused their power. What I am most interested in now is combating the shame we go through that keeps us isolated and allows for harm to continue to be done. I wish I had known that there were women in the business I could have talked to. I wish I had known that there were ears to hear me. That justice could be served. There is clearly power in numbers. I thank the women who have spoken up and given me the strength to revisit this unfortunate moment in my past.

Our business is complicated because intimacy is part and parcel of our profession; as actors we are paid to do very intimate things in public. That's why someone can have the audacity to invite you to their home or hotel and you show up. Precisely because of this we must stay vigilant and ensure that the professional intimacy is not abused. I hope we are in a pivotal moment where a sisterhood — and brotherhood of allies — is being formed in our industry. I hope we can form a community where a woman can speak up about abuse and not suffer another abuse by not being believed and instead being ridiculed. That's why we don’t speak up — for fear of suffering twice, and for fear of being labeled and characterized by our moment of powerlessness. Though we may have endured powerlessness at the hands of Harvey Weinstein, by speaking up, speaking out and speaking together, we regain that power. And we hopefully ensure that this kind of rampant predatory behavior as an accepted feature of our industry dies here and now.

Now that we are speaking, let us never shut up about this kind of thing.

2. Tarantino on Weinstein: 'I Knew Enough to Do More Than I Did.'

Quentin Tarantino, the Hollywood director most closely tied to Harvey Weinstein, has known for decades about the producer's alleged misconduct toward women and now feels ashamed he did not take a stronger stand and stop working with him, he said in an interview.

"I knew enough to do more than I did," he said, citing several episodes involving prominent actresses. "There was more to it than just the normal rumors, the normal gossip. It wasn't secondhand. I knew he did a couple of these things."

"I wish I had taken responsibility for what I heard," he added. "If I had done the work I should have done then, I would have had to not work with him."

Tarantino knew that three women, including his then-girlfriend Mira Sorvino, had been harassed and/or assaulted by Weinstein. The only "work" he had to do was listen to and believe them. But he didn't, very deliberately, because, if he had, he "would have had to not work with him."

Instead, he maintained an illusion even with himself that he didn't know, in order that he could keep working with an abuser.

Who he knew would never abuse him. Only women.

Two stories from two people who work in the same industry, the same town. One a woman who was abused by Weinstein and felt obliged to keep it a secret. The other a man who knew about Weinstein's abuse and helped him keep it a secret.

My heart breaks for Lupita Nyong'o that she had to carry that privately all these years.

I've nothing but seething contempt for Quentin Tarantino.