An Observation

After 13 years of doing this work, I no longer have the capacity to be truly surprised by misogyny.

And yet: I confess that I occasionally find myself exasperatedly and woundedly wondering how in the fuck is this happening in 2017? about some vile iteration of hatred of women, even though I know the answer.

It's not like I was operating under the extreme misapprehension that there was no more misogyny in the world LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL but holy fuck is this the backlash of all backlashes.

I literally feel different in my womanhood now than I did before the election. I don't even know to describe the shift. But I felt more powerful, visible, steady — none of these words are exactly right. Now I feel more vulnerable, exposed, rocked — none of these words are exactly right, either.

And none of them should be interpreted to mean weaker.

But the culture has changed very quickly and harshly, and I feel something inside me changing, too, despite my efforts to #resist that, too.

I said a zillion times before the election that it was a referendum on how this nation values women, and it was. And now I'm feeling the effects of that. All around me and also inside me.

This is a thing I needed to articulate, to help me reckon with it — and because I suspect I'm not the only one feeling this way.